FIFTY THOUSAND MOONS

Thursday, September 15, 2016

The Top 10 Juju Commandments for winning tonight

Once again, as a refresher... the Juju rules for tonight.

1. TELL NO ONE. Remember the first rule of Fight Club? Same with juju... but double.
2. HAVE ONE CHAIR FOR IN THE FIELD AND ONE FOR BEING AT BAT. Think of it as our over-shift.
3. DON'T WEAR YOU "LUCKY" SHIRT. There is no such thing. Don't be an idiot. If such a garment existed, you wouldn't own it.
4. IT IS OK TO ABUSE INANIMATE OBJECTS. After a bases-loaded strikeout, the nearest door needs a slamming. (Note: Americans do not waterboard appliances.) Also, see No. 5.
5. NEVER, EVER, HARM YOUR TV. No matter what happens, it's not her fault.

6. BE NEGATIVE. We're going to lose. Why am I bothering to say this? We WON'T win.
7. DO NOT HOST A VICTORY PARTY. Guaranteed defeat.
8. DO NOT PRAY FOR HELP. God doesn't fix games. He might resent you asking.
9. WHATEVER WORKS, STAY WITH IT. If Sanchez homers, and you're in the kitchen, stay put.
10. TONIGHT IS THE WORLD SERIES. If we lose, it's over - everything, done, gone, kaput. Are we clear?

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is Alphonso undergoing CPR after the Billy Butler acquisition? Please check in, Alphonso, let us know you're all right.

Anonymous said...

GET THIS..... WE ARE GOING TO HONOR THE FAT DRUG ADDICT FRAUD BEFORE THE GAME ON SEPT. 29TH.... CAN YOU IMAGINE?..... I REFUSE TO GO INTO THE STADIUM TO SEE ANY OF THAT PHONY SHIT...... WE'RE GONNA MOON HIM BABY!!!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

THE
JUJU
IS
ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Roger that, Duquito - - wilco with JuJu Rules, as outlined in your Master Tome - - over and out....and cheer up, Fonzie! Maybe BB will punch out the real Clueless Joe - - or, better yet, Cash-Puss, if he doesn't like the way he's being (not) used....That would be almost as priceless as the Moon-Shot.

Tom said...

"... by far the worst loss of the year. By far." -- J. Sterling

Austria's Only Baseball Fan said...

HOW MANY GAMES MUST DELICATE BETANCES LOSE BEFORE THEY FIND ANOTHER CLOSER?

Oh - that's right; we had two of the best in all of baseball but we traded them away.

I am no longer an advocate of firing Girardi: he needs to be declared insane and institutionalized.

PallorMan said...

I be sellin' on Dellin.

Oh well, it was too good to be true anyway.

Roll another blunt...

BernBabyBern said...

Do we have to play any more games this season? Because really, what's the f'n point? Tonight was a burial. Want to see a season go from saved to gone in 10 minutes? If you saw the ninth, you did. And to see that idiot pass Mantle on the HR list ...

I need to break something.

Anonymous said...

THAT FAT STEROID FRAUD JUST KEEPS KILLING US....A HOMER AND KEY SINGLE IN THE 9TH HELPED OUR FALL TONIGHT...... WE ARE LOOKING AT A BARRY BONDS LIKE PERFORMANCE THIS YEAR FOR THIS FAT 40 YEAR OLD FRAUD..... GOD HOW I WISH HE COULD BE BLOOD TESTED NOW...... FUCK IT ALL.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

UUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!