Monday, September 26, 2016

The biggest fear: That Jose Bautista is showcasing himself for a Yankee contract

This weekend, watching Jose Bautista once again kill us, it hit me:

This winter, watch us run out and sign the bastard. 

Of course, we will! It'll be instant gratification. It will make perfect Steinbrennerian sense. There's a gene pool symmetry here: It will prove Hal was not adopted. And, basically, it will be the absolute worst thing we can do. Thus, count on it.

Keep in mind, we've done this before. All it takes is a rotten team. We tore up A-Rod's contract and then lashed ourselves to him, like Ahab to the whale. We ditched A.J. Burnett for two flea market Elvis lamps. We signed Carlos Beltran to three years, Brian McCann to five and Jacoby Ellsbury to seven. We've made some of this millennium's worst signings, yet some writers still praise the front office in day-glow awe, because they hover over the scrap heap like a Pentagon drone. (The problem with rating Brian Cashman is never knowing where he ends and Hal begins. He's made nice deals - Didi, Swish, Pined-um... let's leave leave it at Didi, Swish. But then he signs Chase Headley for four.) So why not sign Jose Bautista? I mean, when you list the reasons of why it's such a bad, terrible, awful, horribly wretched idea, well, we must do it.

1. We will lose our top draft pick. These picks are not fodder. Boston never seems to miss on one. Of course, we'll claim our system is stocked, so it doesn't matter if we draft another Andrew Brackman. The Yankee-owned media, which rubber-stamps every move, is an enabling force to be discussed at another time - (like every day, all winter, right?)

2. Bautista will be 36 next year. Good luck with that. Do we need another guy who'll be pushing 50 by the time he leaves? Of course, we do! Say, how about Country Breakfast Butler? (Wait, we could rename Bautista "Country Sausage!" Our lineup would be called "The Old Country Buffet.")

3. He'll want at least three years. Of course, he will. We'll live Beltran all over again. And yes, Carlos hit well this season. But do you remember year one? Remember him perched in right? He's watched more balls drop than the late Dick Clark. Remember how a full-time DH limits this team? Let's bring in another statue!

4. He's hit .233 with 20 HRs. Yeah, Bautista missed time with injuries. That's what happens to guys old enough to date Zsa Zsa Gabor. (News flash: She's still alive - age 99 - turns 100 in February.) The point is, we already have guys who hit .230 with 20 HRs.

5. He'll be a giant block of concrete tied to our feet. We have one hope: That someone - maybe Greg Bird, maybe Aaron Judge, maybe Clint Frazier - evolves into a star. Bautista's contract will demand 500 at-bats, every one coming at the expense of the future.

6. It's another money drain. I hate to mention money, because Hal has more than most third-world dictators. I'm all for any Steinbrenner pissing away money, but when Hal makes a bad deal, he takes it out on the team. Two winters ago, if we had signed Max Scherzer, we could be squaring our rotation for the playoffs today. Instead, we signed Headley - because of the Beltran/McCann/Ellsbury fiasco.

Whatever happens will come down to whether Hal accepts slow improvements - or demands instant gratification. The Redsocks slow-cooked their resurrection. They'll be really good for a long time. If we pull the plug on our youth movement - pushing to win in 2017 - once again, Jose Bautista will have killed us.


Tom said...

More old guys! This youth-movement thing didn't work any better than my bowel movement this morning. Sign them all.

John M said...

Talk about burying the lead...Zsa Zsa is still alive? Holy babapiskóta!

The Ghost of Yankees Past said...

el duque , I have to believe and hope the Yankees have learned their lesson and will not offer a large, long term contract to a 36 year old. If they do ,they may be as dumb as some of the readers think.

Let me repost some comments regarding Joe and this year from a prior day:

Joe is not the issue. He is a fine manager and a good fit in NY . Yes, he is not perfect . As with all managers making hundreds of decisions a year it is easy to arm chair critique him. In 2009 we won it all with Joe. At the end of the day the manager can only pull the strings he has. The fact is we lost to teams with better talent. Rebuilding is not fun or easy.

The old saying in football applies here. It is not about X's and O's it is about Larry's and Joe's. The teams going into the playoffs have better Larry's and Joe's

KD said...

Is that the Gabor that was on Green Acres? She was hot.

Tom said...

Eva was on Green Acres. Back then Zsa Zsa was too big for television.

Local Bargain Jerk said...

It's digression, but Green Acres was a very, very, funny show. You can bet your Hoyt-Clagwell tractor on it.

Anonymous said...

Digression it may be, but Green Acres was a six-season-long unsung masterwork - - especially to people like me: I grew up in Iowa, and I SWEAR, I knew local examples of each one of the characters. The plots were well-written, too - - with the exception of those weird "Martian" & "moon-rock" episodes; but, as you said, I digresseth: the Yankees organization is rotting from the head down: the best solution would be to fire all of the Top 17 fire-able organizational boat-anchors, and replace them with new & improved Larrys & Joes (not to mention Brians, Lonns, Randys, etc.)

I know, dream on....wake me up for the moon-shot - - then I can hibernate until next season - - or, perhaps, the 2018 season.


Anonymous said...

Ditto Encarnacion.