Sunday, November 14, 2010

YANKEETORIAL: We must not let John & Suzyn test free agent market


To the Yankiverse:

Imagine a world where the Redsocks own our legendary voices.  Contemplate the possibility of John Sterling WinWarbling, "Jose can you see!" for a Jose Reyes homerun.

Yes, friends, we are envisioning Doomsday.

The Yankees must move swiftly to sign their dynamic duo of the Loew's Entertainment Booth, or perhaps it will be the Kansas City Royals who are buidling something togethahhhh.

We must not delay. In this, his contract year, expect John to routinely hit 7.50 WinWarbles, while Suzyn -- driven not only by Jeep but by womanly anger -- will break major investigative stories -- who killed JFK?; why is the nickel bigger than the dime, who punched out AJ Burnett? -- in clubhouse reports.

We must these broadcasting icons to a 10-year deal -- better yet, tie them up into 2027, when the asteriod hits earth -- ("It is high, it is far, it is... armageddon!") Once the fiery plagues hit, we'll take our chances.

If we let them go, they'll be signed by Fox News faster than you can say "Juan Williams."

By 2020, Jeet and A-Rod will have a daily AM sports radio show, and they'll presumably be ready to handle the play by play. By then, Joe Torre will be manager. Don Zimmer -- back in good graces -- will be bench coach. On YES, Michael Kay will team with Glenn Beck.

If the Yankees lose John and Suzyn, no lead will ever again be safe and secure.

Speaking of safe and secure, keep your family safe and secure, with New York Life. Protecting famlies for more than 50 years. That's New York Life -- with John and Suzyn -- the company we keep.

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