Countdown to the end of 2023 Season

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

The Yankee formula for winning crystalizes: All they need is a pair of HRs from Aaron Judge

Unless you capped a three-day, sun-bleached, beer-n-burgers marathon by staying up until 1:30 a.m., you probably missed last night's Yankee game, played on a distant coast in a lost dimension of time and space.

Not gonna lie. I did. Last night, to keep me stirring after 11, I'd have needed a vibrator, a pound of sativa-infused expresso, party hats, a treadmill and the SI swimsuit edition. I was fried. Caught the first inning, then bade our heroes farewell and crawled to the trundle.

So, what'd I miss? 

Aaron Judge homered twice, robbed a Mariner by climbing the wall, and showed the children of the Space Needle exactly who is baseball's greatest star, in case they thought it was a certain Japanese Babe Ruth, or the hate-filled son of Vlad, or Willie Calhoun. 

Judge also doubled. And I must say: It's crazy for a guy to hit 62 HRs and still go underestimated, but I think I've done just that with Judge. I assumed he couldn't be as great as he was in 2022 - it simply could not happen. But he now leads the AL in homers, despite missing two weeks, and his average is around .300. Last year, he missed the Triple Crown by a hickey. This year, who knows?   

Domingo German pitched well, returning from his sticky fingers penalty box, the Yankees scored 10 runs for the second straight game, everybody hit except Oswaldo Cabrera, who went 0-for-5, and Harrison Bader pulled a hammy, of course. The Yankees are pooh-poohing Bader's injury, but in NY, we measure hammies by months. Back by the All Star Break?  

If this doesn't prompt the Yankees to bring up Estevan Florial, nothing ever will.

Bader's likely injury, on the basis of his track record, allows him to rise in the Top 10 Yankee China Doll Rankings, According to Tweakiness

1. Giancarlo Stanton, "The Iron Man of Injury." (hammy)
2. Tommy Kahnle (bicep)
3. Harrison Bader (hammy)
4. Luis Severino, currently uninjured, here by reputation.
5. Jonathan Loaisiga (bone spur)
Carlos Rodon (back)
7. Frankie Montas (shoulder)
Jackie Donaldson (hammy)
9. Jose Trevino (hammy)
10. Anthony Rizzo (neck)

Finally, this...


AboveAverage said...

I attribute our new, winning ways to Boone’s Buds playing Singing in the Rain on repeat.

(That and his new manta - Hit Happy Hard)

You can almost see him saying it in between his fistfuls of ketamine

(oops - seeds-I-mean)

ranger_lp said...

@AA...Singing in the Rain...first thing I thought of was A Clockwork Orange...

TheWinWarblist said...

Biggest Best Aaron is very good at baseball.

TheWinWarblist said...

AA, we wish Boone was taking a fistful of ketamine.

Celerino Sanchez said...

This team a Judge hamstring tweak away from being in last place. The rest of lineup is worthless. It amazes me that teams pitch to this guy.

Parson Tom said...

@ranger ... twisted, but you're on to something. Boone goes from that doped-up monotone to manic-crazy way too fast. He may need the aversion therapy

Mildred Lopez said...

Three homeruns really. His two and the one he took from The Oscar

The Hammer of God said...

I lay in bed and listened to this one. After the 6th inning or so, I was in and out of consciousness.

@ El Duque, They won't bring up Florial. I suspect that they'll look for (and find, and bring in) some schmuck who hits .180 with occasional power to be another plug in outfielder.

How about Greg Allen? Bader beats out an infield hit, tweaks a hamstring, and then Allen gets picked off. Then next inning, Bauer hits a home run. How about standing anchored at first and waiting for the home run? Did Allen really think that Bauer would hit a single if Allen stole second? Ha Ha Har Dee Har Har!

@ Celerino, Right-o! Just a Judge hamstring tweak away from last place! All the more reason why Judge should be in the #3 slot. A little bit less running. Slightly less pressure on him to feel like he's a quasi-leadoff man. Slightly less of a chance of a hamstring tweak. Maybe Boone has finally given Judge the red light on stolen base attempts. I don't remember any steal attempts by Judge after coming back from that hip injury scare. I hope they don't start playing Judge in center field again, with Bader out.

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AboveAverage said...

@Ranger - yes indeed.

“Free my Glazzies!”

“Do be DooDoo, my Droogies”

HoraceClarke66 said...

AND, a complete-game, 1-0 shutout by former Met Marcus Stroman to beat TB. Practically like pitching a perfect game these days.

JM said...

Judge really is underappreciated. I know I kind of take him for granted. Oh, another home run. Oh, look, he tied it in the ninth. Oh, he made another great catch in the outfield. Oh, he gunned down another mook trying to take an extra base (you don't see this anymore because other teams have completely stopped trying to run on him).

After years without a truly great player who stands alone and is more than a part of an ensemble cast, we've got him (bonus essay question: contrast Judge with A-Rod in terms of being "truly great"). It's disorienting. My brain has trouble seeing him for what he is. I think, "wow, that Alonso guy sure hits a lot of homers," like John Lennon worrying about competition from the Dave Clark Five ("And they've got a bloody saxophone!"). When in reality, there is no competition.

And I find it difficult to wrap my head around that.

edb said...

And if you stop Judge, you stop the Yankees. Judge unfortunately has been stopped during the Post Season.

ranger_lp said...

@JM...the same Dave Clark that never played drums on most of their recordings...

Kevin said...

@AA, strange, I also thought of "A Clockwork Orange"... What a sad, sick, sorn, community we are. What IS it with us, we have good brains....

Kevin said...

Marcus Stroman, a guy who's had a very nice career. Practically begged to be a Yankee. Same with Luis Castillo. Did Cashman go back on a deal with the devil to constantly pick the wrong guys in free agency? It doesn't seem possible after twenty plus years. Hell even the New York press has given up writing stories about a glut of Baby Bombers clawing to get to the Team. I've tried to give the ORG the benefit of the doubt, picking talent isn't easy, especially when it comes to injuries. But I have to assume at this point that Hal just doesn't give a damn.