The poster boy for last season's failure should not be Willie Calhoun.
It deserves to be Prince Hal.
But but but... one particular pitcher is managing to make the brass look rather polished.
I'm referring to the Grin Reaper, the Human Waterfall, the Cuban Missile Crisis - El Chapo, himself- Mr. Aroldis Chapman - the man who fires bullets, figuratively and literally.
Last night, in case you missed it - (what? you actually have a life?) - the Texas Rangers brought in El Chapsick to protect a two-run lead in the 8th. The previous night, he had nearly given up a critical two-run blast, sending his left-fielder leaping at the outfield wall. You'd think they'd have learned. Chappy has a - well - a history at Minute Maid Park. When he enters a game, balls are known to leave the field.
Well, last night, he came through - for Hal and Cash, anyway. The second batter, Yordan Alvarez, sent a ball up to Elon's Starlink system, cutting the Rangers' lead to one and sending Aroldis to the seafood buffet.
Look, it's no fun watching a proud ex-Yankee star become the subject of mockery and derision... unless that certain proud ex-Yankee star happened to quit on your team last October.
Then - well, yeah, ya know what? - it is sorta fun!
Out there on the mound, Chapman is a human gas can. No lead is safe. At any time, he's capable of going POOF. And he's theirs - not ours - he can never hurt us again. (Even if he pitches well, he's a walking embarrassment to Hal and Cash, so - yeah- we're off the hook.)
Small victories, I suppose. Bring him in, Texas! He's all yours! And he's working on that slider! Any day now, he'll perfect it, and be unhittable!
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Me? I’m too busy laughing at all the trade / free agent rumors and speculation, none of which costs ownership a dime and none of which will come to fruition.
I'm sure those Rangers fans are popping Rolaids when Rolaids pitches...
Speculation that Cashman is kicked aside to a different executive position so the Yanks can bring Ng back.
I'm just saying, it's out there. Whether it's actually possible is another story.
Oh man JM, Ng in, Cashhat out. He can sit in a little wooden chair right next to Hal's desk, Hal can rub his head for good luck, maybe leave treats for him on the edge of the desk. Meanwhile someone who may actually know how to run a goddamned team can run the goddamned team.
I would love us some Ng. Or some Jeter. But sorry: The Cash Man ain't goin' nowhere.
And "The Cuban Missile Crisis." Love it, Duque! If there were ever a player to root against, Torrents is the one. If you or I had done what he did, we would still be in jail.
Duque, I guess I don't have much of a life! I watched most of that game, except for a few middle innings.
I think Gunslinger Chapman still has some Yankee hangover left in him. The homer was on a lousy "get me over" slider. The guy still can throw a 100 mph fastball but he doesn't have enough confidence to use it. His fastball is a bit straight, compared to others like Leclerc, Montgomery, Eovaldi. Probably because he's overthrowing and forcing velocity. If he's still with Texas next year, I think he will improve. But I too am mighty glad that he's no longer our head scratch case.
Think Cashman is not crazy enough to bring Chapman back? Now, that one I'm not sure about. You know how Cashman LOVES to bring back guys for second and third helpings.
In the 1st inning yesterday, as Framber Valdez is getting his butt handed to him, suddenly the home plate umpire takes off his face mask and starts fiddling with it. Eventually kills enough time to allow Valdez to throw warmup pitches. I think that was all on purpose to try to help Valdez get back on track and to try to kill the Rangers' momentum.
Just like in the first game, most of the close ball/strike calls went against the Rangers. Texas Rangers are playing against two opponents right now, the ASS-stros and the fucking pro-ASS-stro Umpires. Two questions: (1) how much are the umps getting paid and, more importantly, (2) who is paying them?
In game 1, it looked to me like Altuve did NOT know what pitches were coming. I say that because one time when Montgomery threw a curveball, Altuve took a swipe at it that was one of the ugliest looking swings that I've ever seen. This swing was close to Gleyber Torres' Razzi record swing. This is what it looks like when guys are NOT cheating with garbage cans and center field cameras.
But later on, Altuve was caught by the replay whilst trying to cheat on the basepaths. A tiger can't hide his stripes.
I saw an interesting stat on the FOX broadcast: the ASS-stros are 40-44 at home this year. And no team has ever reached the World Series with a losing home record.
Presumably, that record includes the playoffs because I thought they only played 81 home games during the regular season. Anyways, I certainly hope that last bit holds true once again this year, that no one reaches the World Series with a losing record at home.
Leclerc did what Gunslinger Chapman could never do: get Altuve out in the bottom of the 9th. With 2-1 count, Leclerc threw a changeup down and away for ball 3. 3-1 count, obviously, not ideal. But I don't think Altuve was cheating with the centerfield cam last night because, on Leclerc's 3-1 98mph fastball up and in, Altuve had just enough doubt in his mind that he didn't get all of it and flied out deep to CF. Good pitching by Leclerc, to throw that changeup down and away and then bust the high fastball up and in. When you're behind in the count, it's usually not a great idea to pitch inside, but Leclerc did just enough to get away with it.
If Leclerc pitched for the Yankees, he would've thrown a slider down and away for ball 4, then Bregman would've hit one out for the game winner. Yankee baseball: as predictable as the changing of the seasons.
Just think. If Ng came in, we could get a new pitching coach. Maybe a new manager. Maybe new Player Development people. Maybe smarter analytics schmucks.
Nothing to snicker about. Once a stiff!, always a stiff!
Very true, Hammer. And at least the losing record at home indicates they are probably over their cheatin' ways—at least for now.
I wonder about the refs in all sports these days. I'm not a Giants fan, but I thought they got royally screwed on Sunday night.
And that's what happens when you embrace gambling as a sport. Even if everyone is fair, fans will wonder. Always.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
by Randy Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
But I know little about the game
And be one GM, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
Then traded for some broken arms;
I sold the farm, but just as fair,
And since I’m great at 4D chess,
I got some prospects, worse for wear;
And gave them to our training staff
Who never really know or care,
And then I sat back, thinking hard
The sky had started snowing fast.
The season was over, just for us!
Yet knowing how way leads to way,
I thought that I might win next year.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
I bought a has-been hitter, and put
together a rotten farm, but I sleep well
Hal don’t care, that makes all the difference.
We had no room in the outfield for Bryce Harper, right? And playing first was not an option.
We suck.
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