The real question of the 2023-24 off season: Will Hal Steinbrenner collude with Steve Cohen, and how will it play out?

Last winter, it was - how would you say it? - "curious" - how Mets owner Steve Cohen sidestepped the bidding war over Aaron Judge. Here was his chance to sign baseball's greatest slugger, to anchor the Mets batting order, to bolster the clubhouse, to drive a stake into the crosstown rival Yankees and to take by storm the megalopolis of New York. In other auctions, Cohen bestrode the planet without restraint. Yet in the one battle would have made the biggest impact, he clutched his fanny pack and pulled up lame.

Now, there were solid reasons for this. Clearly, collusion had nothing - absolutely nothing! - to do with it. In fact, if anyone here remotely smart mouths that Mr. Cohen and Sir Hal Steinbrenner struck some sort of secret deal, well, I'm sending Alphonso to slap you crisply across the face. Because them be fightin' words! And around here, we don't tolerate fightin' words. You must think you landed on one of those sites that sit around and let the Yankees be complained about. Well, you're wrong. 

Last winter, no matter how it may have looked, there was NO collusion - none, whatsoever - between the two Titanic titans of Gotham. Moreover, as was stated above, we won't even speculate what kind of "collusion" could transpire this winter, because it WON'T. Get it, Mr. Ronan Farrow Woodward-Bernstein? NO COLLUSION!

But but BUT...  knowing this is just for fun, and because it's been a long, hard October, let's play a parlor game in which we enact a mythical conversation between two fictional owners that we'll call "Mr. Steve" and "Mr. Hal." 

This is how the Yankees and Mets could save themselves a lot of money - WHICH THEY WON'T DO! - which, instead of going to rich players, could be funneled back into their franchises for the betterment of all.  

Hal: Hey, Mr. Steve, we haven't dipped into the Asian market for a few years now. Can we get the pitcher, Yamamingo, Yamamengis, Yama - oh, I can never remember his name, but you know him. The Japanese guy. Can we have him? 

Steve: Wait a minute. I thought you wanted Clay Bellinger's kid? That's what you said. You can't have both. If you get Bellinger, then I want Yamamoto. 

Hal: Then you don't get Ohtani, because that would be three Japanese stars, counting Senga. That's too many. 

Steve: Senga is not a star. But you're right, the Commissioner has his secret quota. So, I'd trade you Clay's kid for Ohtani...

Hal: Clay's kid and Yamamingo. And I'll let you have Juan Soto. That's right. You can trade for him and maybe even Machado. I figure you traded Scherzer and Verlander for prospects, so all you gotta do is package them up and send them to San Diego. We'll sit that one out. Everybody wins!

Steve: Hmm. You get Clay's kid and the Motoman. We get Ohtani, Soto and Machado. You know something? That just might work! Now, what about 3B?

Of course, this won't happen. Because collusion doesn't exist.