Yankees front office. Gabe Paul and assistants are working the phones. George Steinbrenner, stylish as ever in a white turtleneck and checkered sports coat, paces nervously around them.
GEORGE: Boy, oh boy, I love this free-agent bidding! Nerve-wracking, though, ain't it?
GABE: Yep.
GEORGE: So who are we going for again? The pitcher, right?
GABE: Don Gullett, yep.
GEORGE: And who else? That Reggie Jackson fellow?
GABE: No. You told us we should go with whoever Billy wanted. And Billy doesn't want Reggie.
GEORGE: Hey, whatever Billy says is good by me! I mean, after all, he took our team to the World Series this year. Sure, maybe they could've won at least one game there, but never mind! So, uh, who does Billy think we should go after?
GABE: He wants us to sign Joe Rudi and Bobby Grich.
GEORGE: Really? Can we really get both of them?
GABE: Word is they want to play together. So if we can just sign one of them, the other will fall into line.
GEORGE: Uh-huh. And who are we closest on?
GABE: Word is, Rudi is going to make a decision today.
GABE: Thirteen. But he missed 32 games because of injury, so there's that.
GEORGE: Sure. But usually, Joe's an iron man, right? Dependable old Joe!
GABE: Well, he missed 36 games the year before. But he can play first and left field.
GEORGE: I see. And...we have a pretty good first baseman already, don't we? That Chambliss fellow, hit the big home run for us against the Royals?
GABE: We do.
GEORGE: And don't we have a left fielder?
GABE: Actually, we have about three right now, if we want. Piniella, Roy White, Gamble—
GEORGE: I see. But this Rudi fella, he'll be more of a Yankee Stadium hitter, won't he? He's a lefty bat, right?
GABE: No. Righthander.
GEORGE: I see. But the idea is to get not just him but Bobby Grich, too. I get it. And Grich is a real slugger! How many home runs did he hit last year?
GEORGE: But he's the big lefty bat we need, right!
GABE: Actually, he's a righty, too.
GEORGE: And what does he play again?
GABE: Second base.
GEORGE: Um, but don't we have a pretty good second baseman? That Randolph kid from Brooklyn? Stole a lot of bases, made the All-Star Game as a rookie? Plays a pretty good second base?
GABE: Yep. Billy thinks we could move Grich over to short, and replace Chicken Stanley.
GEORGE: Oh, good thinking! And Grich has played shortstop in the majors before, right?
GABE: Yeah, he played some games there in his first full season, back in 1972.
GEORGE: I see. Four years ago, he played some shortstop. And now he's gonna be how old?
GABE: Twenty-eight.
GEORGE: So, uh, not to question Billy's judgement, he's done such a great job for us and everything. But, uh, what do you think he sees in these guys, anyway?
GABE: Well, he thinks they're good, all-around ballplayers.
GEORGE: Uh-huh. So they hit for high averages, steal a lot of bases?
GABE: Rudi hit .270 last year and stole 6 bases. Grich hit .266 and stole 14.
GEORGE: I see.
GABE: Excuse me, George! I got a call coming in from Rudi's agent. This could be it!
Gabe Paul listens for a few minutes, nodding his head.
GABE: I see...I see...You know, we could probably top that...No? He's set on staying in California? Not even if we gave him another fifty thousand? A hundred thousand?...I see. Well, if that's how he feels. I wish him luck.
Paul hangs up, and throws off his headset.
GABE: Dammit! Joe Rudi is going with Autrey and the Angels. Says he doesn't want to leave California, no matter what we offer. And that means we just lost Grich, too!
GEORGE: I see. Well, that's a shame. Gabe, go sign that pitcher. And get me Reggie on the line.
GABE: You mean his agent?
GEORGE: I mean Reggie Jackson! I want to know when he's going to be in New York next, and then I want to talk to him. Personally!
GABE: Gee, I dunno, George. Word is Reggie wants to sign with the Dodgers—
GEORGE: The Dodgers! (snorts) He's not signing with the Dodgers—not after I show him New York! Oh, and tell Billy if he doesn't like it, well, he should've won a goddamned game in the World Series.
*All "great real moments" based on actual events. Dialogue and settings may be invented.
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5 comments:
The white turtleneck and plaid sport coat got me. I remember them.
Though for real early to mid 70s men's fashion, it's hard to beat Match Game '73, '74, and '75. Holy shit, there were some bad outfits on those shows.
At one point, I actually had a robin's egg blue leisure suit. Wish I still owned it—could be a museum piece by now!
Hoss, were you a lounge singer in the catskills at the time?
You *did* have the uniform.
I had a powder blue leisure suit too. Unfortunately, I stood too close to a space heater and it melted.
@ JM...The white turtleneck with cranberry blazer George wore often was my favorite. Johnny Olson preferred the navy blue blazer.
Sadly, I never had the pipes for that, Rufus. But I could've been a great second banana. Or maybe even a banana.
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