The Yankees have obtained the annoying, middling, party animal LF Alex Verdugo - age 27, an iconic Redsock disappointment - whose previous claim to fame was yet another trade, the one that sent Mookie Betts to Hollywood Gomorrah.
In exchange, Boston receives three minor league arms and Verdugo gone, maybe a reward unto itself.
Listen: I dunno about this. By itself, this trade is a big, cold, half-congealed nothing burger. It provides protein, I suppose, but it's not to be consumed on an empty stomach. It's just a lump in the Matrix.
So, I guess we've reached a brief intermission in this movie. Brian Cashman just stepped out on the ledge, he's pancaked against the building, and it's a long, long Hans Gruber drop to the street. Who knows what to make of this? A Redsock fan friend last night sent this message: Verdugo will be good in Yankee Stadium. Only have to worry his off field activity. Likes the nightlife.
Oh? Great. Then NYC is the perfect place for him. Nothing going on after 9 p.m.
So, Verdugo... WTF? Here are some scenarios:
1. It's no-go on Soto. San Diego wanted too much, so instead of Juan Soto in LF, we'll watch the New Red Thunder. Maybe we'll chase the free agent door prize, Cody Bellinger, though his price tag is also supposedly out of the world. If Soto and Bellinger are out, and Verdugo is our cold reality, the 2024 Yankee winter could hinge on Yoshinobu Yamamoto. The Death Barge may have just told SD to fuck itself, and Hal Steinbrenner is marshalling his dimes to sign the pitcher. (Who, fun fact, is still three years younger than Greg Weissert, whom they traded.)
2. We're seeking a three-way. Verdugo will be "Yankee-For-a-Day," heading somewhere in a 3-dimensional deal that frees Soto from the Comicon city and scatters prospects to the wind. It's a game of superhuman brain power, and thank God we have humanity's answer to AI - strategist Brian Cashman - sitting atop the mathematical shit pile of future moves.
3. It's a drug trip. Remember that shot you downed? It was Yoo-Hoo chocolate drink laced with Fentanyl, and you're lying in a gutter somewhere, hallucinating about IT IS HIGH in your final moments. God, you must have lived one fucked-up life, to be coming here in your last astral visitations. Then again, death may be better than what's in store for the 2024 Yankees with Verdugo leading off.
4. It's Iceland. The whole place is about to blow up, a massive volcano of trades that will reshape the Death Barge is ways that none of us can comprehend. Our OF might be Soto, Judge and Verdugo, and - think of this: If Verdugo improves on 2023 by eight measly percentage points, he could lead the team in batting, at .274!
5. It's Mayberry RFD. Sam Drucker just called. He says the Yankees have punted on 2024, the lights are out, everyone's gone to sleep, and nothing more will happen this winter. Wake me when we sign Kevin Kiermaier.
Honestly, flummoxed here. Drink. It's the only answer that makes sense.
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43 comments:
I thought of the Yankee for a Day scenario almost right away. But we're probably stuck with him. The guy who was benched for lack of hustle. (Note to the Brain: redheads are a bad idea.)
At least while he's out on the town, he can join up with our mayor, who thinks he's the second coming of Jimmy Walker (and I don't mean J. J.). Adams and Verdugo, in a weird way, will make a great nightlife team. I just can't figure out which one is the wing man. Probably a platoon situation.
MLB Rumors says they are now pursuing Dick Hurtz from Holden.
“One final thing I have to do... and then I'll be free of the past”
This is all par for course. This is what Brian does. This is what Hal pays him to do. Don't get suckered. Nothing is changing.
The rich get richer. Always have. The difference now is that they are fighting in the SCOTUS to have their permanent wealth status enshrined in law - no ultra wealth tax. IT'LL TAMP DOWN JOB CREATION!
Don't buy into the big con. It's all a way to distract us - the lower and middle Yankee classes - from rising up and demanding our birthright - a Yankee team that genuinely contends. Divide and conquer. Baffle us with bullshit. It's not working on me. I have been deprogrammed - HAND ME MY MEDS, PEOPLE! - and I won't buy this shit anymore.
Hal is not in it for baseball. He's in it for the money and he'll do what he has to do to maintain the appearance of wanting to contend. As long as he is sitting on an 8 billion dollar cash cow, he can dribble a few hundred million a year on looking like he gives a shijt. It's just business, Jake. It's just Chinatown.
Sell those skybox tickets, Establish cities on Mars for those who can afford it. Keep breeding, suckers, November is the 6th straight month of record high global temperatures. One day, MARK MY PSYCHOTIC WORDS - Bezos or Musk or Zuckerberg will launch an orbiting baseball stadium in low-Earth orbit and those who can afford to buy true skyboxes will. We will be strapped down in our organ-harvesting capsules and be force-fed Soylent Green and 24/7 YES programming.
Those of us with bad DNA or conditions that render our organs useless will be mulched up and used as fertilizer in the orbiting stadium. "Look Ma, TOP OF THE WORLD!!!"
FUCK HAL, FUCK BRIAN, FUCK BOONE, FUCK RANDY, DONDER AND BLITZEN.
I am going to exit this post for the moment. I have to go hang my photo show in Sunset Park. If you're in the city and want to come to my opening tomorrow night, write me at: WEAREFUCKEDBEYONDBELIEF@REDSOXNATION.ORG
I really do have a show, but I won't ask any of you magnificent old geezers to attend. You'll be with me in spirit.
Did I say "FUCK BRIAN" already today? HAIL MOTHER OF JESUS MARY...
As far as I can determine, Sunset Park is a crater on the far side of the moon, where it's always dark. Hence, the name.
If we had an Elon spaceship, we'd go to the opening, but as it is...plus, it's cold out.
Hope it goes well, Bit!
So wait, did Brain just trade for someone MORE unlikable than Jackie Asshole?
Yes Bitty -
May the golden aperture of the gods reward you with eternal peace, happiness and prosperity!
Mildred--why, yes. Yes, he did, didn't he.
From what I can see the best thing about Verdigo I’d that he is only here for one year. Big Dick Fitts will be missed.
Nerd Alert, 🔔 Just to set the record straight Sam Drucker was never on Mayberry. appearing on The Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres, and Petticoat Junction simultaneously.
We did already have Mr. Haney on the team, so Sam Drucker would be logical. Perhaps as the clubhouse guy.
Have some faith, baby. Too many negative waves. We are going to land YY and Soto, maybe even Bellinger. Soto is a fourth outfielder, or maybe a trade piece. And don't worry about King, NFW his shoulder holds up as a starter.
Oddball
Thank you Kevin - I have lots of faith in King’s shoulder. Especially when he’s starting for another team.
verdug “O”
sot “O”
yamamot “O”
It's magic
You know
Never believe
It’s not so
And if we get Yamamoto & Soto too, it'll be a whole lotta "O's" going on.
SIR BITTY, I tried to write you at the above address but it bounced back undeliverable. I believe I also have your old motel sign proton email, and maybe your personal contact so I will try those,,,,, I'm also in a group art show that I've curated this week (East Village), opening on Friday so unfortunately I'm installing during your opening, but I'd love to check out your show, and share the dents on mine.
LONG LIVE ART AND IIHIIFIIC!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK HAL AND THE REST!
I like the move. Another presence in the clubhouse. Let's hope not another Josh Donealdson.
No, seriously, I hate this fucking trade. Three minor league arms for a fucking rental? From fucking Boston? What the hell is Cashman's fucking fascination with Red Sux players?
Looks like this guy checks all the boxes for Cashman: Looks like he's Italian (Verdugo? Sounds Italian to me. He'll bring in the Italian fan base); another great name, rhymes with vertigo, as we've been sayin' for years now; he's a Yankee killer who will never hit anyone else; he's 27 years old; and we got rid of three minor league arms (now we just need to figure out how to get rid of all the rest of those minor league arms).
I say we would've done better signing that broken legged Korean player, Jung Hoo Lee. By July or August, Lee would've been ready to play CF. A lefty hitter, younger than Vertigo. No need to trade three arms.
Boston (like the Tampons) always knows when to dump it's unproductive players. Vertigo probably comes here and hits .230 in 2024. Then Cashman gives him a $250 million extension for 8 years. Yeah, we are fucking doomed.
On a serious note again, I think this likely means that we're passing on Soto this winter. Which might be a good thing. So give up three minor league arms for Vertigo or give up the entire farm, plus The Martian and Austin Wells for Soto? I think this move does a lot less damage. But who are the three arms they gave up?
We need Cashman to do like the Seinfeld where Costanza decides to do the OPPOSITE of his normal choice. Sadly, the only thing left on his "to do" list this offseason now is re-sign IKF.
I hear that Dick Hurts is a real comer.
Bitty, would LOVE to come to see your show! We need details. And...maybe we'll organize an IIHIIFII...c field trip??
Ken, where is the show you curated? I'm in the neighborhood.
Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.
What's the big deal with trading King. Last year was the first time in 6 years he's thrown 100innings. He's 28 and will need shoulder surgery sometime next year.
On another note, they need to sign Woo Suk and then offer him an extra Million to change his name to Wee Suck and make him the poster child for 2024
If only my transporter was working - I’d beam over to see both shows but a damn Klingon urinated all over the console so I’m waiting for a federation shuttle to deliver a fresh batch of dilithium crystals to facilitate the repair.
I never thought I would write these words, but I saw Michael Kay ranting on YES last night...and he was right.
Kay was going on about how Judge is 31, Cole is 33, and the Yanks have to go all-out, NOW, to win. He said it wasn't fair to them—something I think they have been well-compensated for in the common currency, but never mind. It's not fair to US.
We the fans have given too much—the taxpayers of NYC have given too much—to the Steinbrenner family for them not to chuck their luxury tax fears and go all-out this season. Year after year after year of foolish economies have taken us to this point; now they have to put up or shut up.
(I predict they will shut up.)
FWIW, Twitter a-buzz with rumors of an impending Yankee deal for Soto. As an eternal cynic, I’ll believe when I see it.
BTR999er : Yes and apparently El DukeHey has been asked by the front office for his blessing on the deal
Just looked up "Verdugo" surname origin on wiki. I was wrong - not Italian. It's Spanish in origin. And here's the kicker: verdugo means hangman or executioner!!! Wow, didn't know that. What fun we're going to have with our new executioner. No fucking wonder Cashman got this guy. So Cash-man now has his Hang-man!
All Hallow's Eve, if the Yanks make it that far in the playoffs, they can have Verdugo show up in the dugout with the black leather headsman's mask and ax.
There is a movie called "Ironclad: Battle for Blood" directed by Johnathan English. The protagonist hires an executioner who wields a battle ax to fight as part of a castle garrison defending against invading Scottish warriors. To the battlements all! They come!
Apparently, according to my Bible, The Daily Murdoch, Soto is back on the table when The Intern decided it was okay to let go of Michael King.
I can't say I hate an outfield of Verdugo, Soto and Judge, but who's going to pitch?
And this just in from the 'What Took You So Long Department:'
The Intern was qouted on MLB.com:
This would support Yankees general manager Brian Cashman's remarks on Tuesday, when he said that the club is looking to add two left-handed-hitting outfielders.
Mickey Mantle had Ross Moschitto for his legs. If Judge is expected to play CF with Verdugo and Soto flanking him it will be necessary to get a really good defensive center fielder to handle the late innings and to take away at bats from Stanton at the DH spot. Tip to Cashman:
Get someone who had full use of his feet and ankles. Don't get anyone covalescing from injury (Tyler O'Neill). Or injury prone. (Bader).
Feets don't fail us now.
I would say that Kiermaier would fit that role...but he's very injury prone.
Hmm...who could we use in that spot...lessee. Ah, I have a candidate! His initials are, E.F.
Yankee Daddy, does Kevin Kiermaier fit the bill?
Great Ross Moschitto reference Yankee Daddy. And don't forget his earlier legs, Jack Reed!
Babe Ruth's legs: guy named Sammy Byrd.
Harrison Bader is available
3 players so far gone in the rule 5 draft
Sauer and Spence I guess will stay with the A's and Kansas as they are bum teams and nothing to lose and maybe not anything to worry about both players who really knows
Carson Coleman however I think could have been a good bullpen arm even a closer of the future her strikes out a ton of batters be interesting to see if the Rangers keep him
Don't make me scream, Celerino!
I've always been a big fan of Michael King's, and I'd hate to see him go a Soto trade. But he'll be 29 next year, gets hurt a lot, and I think being the starter the Yanks want to make him will only blow out his arm all the quicker.
I'd bit the bullet on this, if it's what it takes to get the deal done.
WFAN is calling today "Juansday"....lol
Trent Grisham included in a deal that looks like it’s done but for the details
@Hoss...King will be a free agent after next year...so another reason...
It is Number 4 . It is Iceland. without the vodka and the blonds.
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