Of course, I should add one note: It's February. Doesn't matter. The Yank bullshit machine is already churning in Full October Mode. It's assuring us that the tranche of young pitchers we traded this winter was merely the excess runoff from a talent overload.
Yesterday, in a master class of positivity, Aaron Boone touted an influx of young pitchers: Chase Hampton, Brock Selvidge, Kyle Carr, Brian Hendry, Luis Serna and Trystan Vrieling. Write down those names. Some will never again appear on this site.
Boiled down, the Yankee spring narrative goes this way:
In recent years, in some secret, hollowed out volcano, the franchise quietly built "The Gas Station," the world's most advanced system for developing young pitchers. As a result, the Yankees had too many golden arms. They needed to bleed some off. Thus, they converted them into Juan Soto, Alex Verdugo and Trent Grisham. Don't worry: They still have an endless supply.
Yep. They want us to believe that somewhere in Tampa, or Scranton, or Wappingers Falls, hellbent Yank scientists cross-indexed the Da Vinci Code with the reanimated brain of Billy Connors and, Voila! We have gobs of pitching, pitching, pitching.
So be it. Today, I'm officially swallowing the red pill. Why not? Hope beats despair.
One problem, though. It's been - well - a while since the Death Barge produced an ace. Their last homegrown starter with three strait +3 WAR seasons was Andy Pettitte, and that was 20 years ago. They've had short-lived near misses - Chien-Ming Wang and Luis Severino come to mind - but best homegrown young pitcher in the last decade might turn out to be - gulp - Michael King. And he's gone.
The Yankees just have not developed aces. Instead, they get them the old-fashioned way: They buy them. Mussina. Sabathia. Tanaka. Cole. They tried this spring with Yamamoto. Their inability to trade for aces is even worse: Montas, Pineda, Happ, don't make me list them; it hurts too much.
Which brings us, of course, to Blake Snell. I've given up picturing Snell in pinstripes. Why bother? If they get him, he'll tweak something, a la Carlos Rodon, and be out until August. If they don't get him, he'll sign with a rival and kill us, resenting the Yankees for not spending on him. Honestly, even if you're hellbent on positivity, it just doesn't matter.
Today brings the first meaningless game of 2024, a season in which the Yankees are said to be going "all out." Yesterday, Hal Steinbrenner said the Yankees are not done improving this team. That means Brian Cashman is scrounging recycling bins. And Boonie is throwing out names for us to remember.
Well, we have no choice but to go along for the ride. I hope you'll join us.
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13 comments:
Bullshit is always tolerated in the cold weather of February. It isn't until the hot weather sets in that the stench becomes unbearable.
The three amigos who run the Yankees have been shoveling it in heaps on us every year without fail, like they've been increasing their intake of fiber.
As for me, where else can I go? I'll keep showing up, knowing full well what the end result is going to look like, as if I was in a bad marriage. With any luck, every now and again I'll find something to get excited about.
Nothing more valuable in MLB today than good young pitching. If I was the GM of A MLB team I would commit hundreds of millions of dollars to scouting, coaching, training instead of paying players in decline. But then, I only care about winning, not revenue.
So, here we are again, boone in midseason form, as we are gaslit for not the first or thousandth time by that empty suit…
Hey, Gil is starting today! Wow! This is gonna be great!!!
Meanwhile, Monty and Snell are still unsigned, as is Bellinger, but out of all the ships that have sailed, he seems to be the one that's reached Balboa.
Too bad. Gio and Clay would have been nice additions.
But we have Verdugo and Stroman! Put the saddle on the stove, ma, we're gonna ride the range tonight!! Whoo!!
Back in black
Yes I'm back in black
I'm just looking at the sky
'cause it's getting me high
Forget the hearse, 'cause I'll never die
I'm in a bang
With a gang
They got to catch me if they want me to hang
Yes I'm ba-----ack ba-----ack
Back in black
Yes I'm back in black
And continuing the heavy metal theme:
Hellbent ... hellbent for Cash-man
Da da-da daaaaa da-da daaaaa da-da daaaaa da-da
Hellbent ... hellbent for Cash-man
There's many who've tried
To tear down that Cash-man
But they didn't last
And they died as they tried
Man, are we gonna have some fun this year with this ridiculous charade of a franchise or what?
Hellbent on winning? More like hellbent ... hellbent for mun-ney!
Should've known that they'd stop after that Soto acquisition. It was all about the money. Probably fans weren't buying season tickets, so they brought in a big fish to draw all the suckers in. There's a sucker born every minute....
Then they sat on their fat asses and thought, oh my God, what if Soto actually hits up a storm and we win, no, can't let that happen. So they brought in a .500 pitcher who's old and on the way down to ensure that we don't win anything. Brilliant, just effing brilliant!
One small correction to an excellent piece, Duque: Andy Pettitte first came up to the Yankees in 1995. In other words, it had been nearly THIRTY years since we developed a top pitcher.
Sigh.
And The Gas Station operates all too much like the real gas stations of yore. You go in just looking for a little gas, think you hear a ping somewhere...next thing you know, the resident grease monkey has your car on the blocks for a month, and it never really runs the same again.
Monty went to the gas station, was amazed that they added five mph to his fastball. A couple months later, he was amazed when he went in for a Tommy John.
I should've written "fat, WRINKLED old asses". Can't forget the wrinkles. Sorry about that. In the words of The Immortal Master, I should be "whipped, flogged, and flagellated".
The gas station was aptly named. They were the masters of throwing gasoline on the fire. Petroleum jelly. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like ....
Hammer, I think the gas station had to do with another kind of gas.
AaRon Boone is gushing over his bowel movements.
Michael King may yet develop into an ace or a number 2-3 starter. But he was not Yankees homegrown. On November 20, 2017, the Yankees traded Garrett Cooper and Caleb Smith to the Miami Marlins for Michael King and international bonus slot money. But, you could say they did develop the kid.
OKAY MEN - AND LADIES AND EVERY OTHER VARIATION OF HUMAN - PUT YOUR DIAPERS ON BECAUSE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA SEASON IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!
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