WTF?
I don't mean to whine, but the Death Barge has spent the last two week playing rumor mill footsie with Scott Boras over Blake Snell and Jordan Montgomery, either of whom would greatly improve the 2024 team. So what do they do? They grab a utility depth piece for Scranton? Yeesh.
At 2B, they have Gleyber Torres for opening day and Jorbit Vivas - obtained from the Dodgers this winter - for Triple A. There is Oswaldo Cabrera, though the warning blinkers - he'll give up switch-hitting - are signaling S.O.S. Until Monday, when he started botching grounders, they had a viable IF prospect in Oswald Peraza. Now, he's got a bum shoulder, and we're signing a backup 2B?
I believe I speak for the Yankiverse in saying, "Uh-oh."
Or it could be nothing. I suspect Cooperstown Cashman keeps a secret metadata file on every living human being - (he knows that I can still go to my left.) When someone pops up on the waiver wire, if he is .00001 of a point higher than what we already have, Cashman pounces. Maybe Jahmai Jones is slightly higher rated than Jeter Downs? (Who, by the way, is 1-for-5 with 2 RBIs and 2 Ks this spring.) Dunno. But the Yankees have Jones, and here's what we got.
Ten Fun Facts About Jahmai Jones.
1. He's 26 years old, bats RH, a 2nd round pick from Georgia, where he was the high school player of the year in 2015.
2. Last year at Triple A, he hit .268 with 12 HRs.
3. He used to be a big base stealer - 27 in 2017 (in low minors.) He stole only 12 last year and was caught 5 times.
4. In 90 MLB plate appearances, he's been plunked once.
5. He's not eligible for arbitration until 2027.
6. His best year as a prospect was 2017: He hit .282 with 14 HRs in two levels.
7. What set him back: Tommy John surgery in May 2022. Missed the year.
8. The Yankees are his 5th team, after the Angels, Orioles, Dodgers and Brewers.
9. His dad, Andre Jones, played for the Detroit Lions. His brothers, TJ (NFL, Lions) and Malachi (National Arena League, Albany), play pro football.
10. His MLB career stats: .179, no HRs, an OBP of .233.
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19 comments:
He's not even best of the worst...he's actually worst of the worst...
At least Jamal can now officially partake in the buffet.
Such a caring and wonderful man, our Brain that will never die.
Three cheers for our team’s continued and selfless generosity.
UNWAVERINGLY EMPOWERING
Good God! Why are we even talking about this nobody?
The real news, the acquisition that could mean everything this season is none other than the Yankees latest, a man by the name of Aaron Leanhardt.
According to the Daily Murdoch, he's an MIT physicist whose baseball resume looks like:
"...he began his coaching career in 2017, making stops in New Jersey (an assistant in the Atlantic Collegiate Baseball League) and Montana (the hitting coach and recruiting coordinator at Dawson Community College) before the Yankees hired him in 2018."
Basically, he's an interpreter. His job is to translate the analytics information into information the players can use.
If his impressive resume isn't enough, there's this:
"“From what I understand, he knew nothing about bats and in two weeks, he knew everything about bats,” referring to information about which bat models were most favorable for hitters. “Just dove into it, researched it.”
Like our Stat-O-Matic analytics guru, he's never played a game in his life.
We are doomed.
Right off the bat, excuse the pun, there are two prime reasons that I can see for Aaron Leanhardt's hire. (1) He is named "Aaron". As I've pointed out numerous times, Aaron never made it to the promised land. (2) His surname of "Leanhardt". Comes very close to "Lionheart". Yanks are continuing on their recent medieval splurge, picking up an analyst named Aaron the Lionheart. As they are hellbent on mediocrity and further fattening HAL's coffers.
As soon as the coin in the coffer rings, HAL from his dining room to his counting room springs.
Jahmai had TJ? No wonder Ca$hole picked out of pizza rat's dumpster!
Dick,
Leanhardt published "Optical vortex with a small core and Gaussian intensity envelope for light-matter interaction".
Of course he can relate to the average ballplayer! He's the nerd-whisperer.
Aaron the Lionhearted, champion of the nerd whisperers. Methinks he carrieth a sharpened pigeon feather quill for a pen, an 64X microscope, and a notebook computer in his vest pockets.
Breaking News:
Secret, parabolic recordings made of Hal and Cash at their Danbury, CT love nest hideaway (code named “the dugout”) have been obtained by IIHIIFIIC reporters Launch Angle and Velo.
What follows is a partial transcript:
Hal:
“I wish I could fire you!”
Cash:
“And I wish I could quit you!”
(they break into song)
“Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all I wanna do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that I do is out of lovin' you
La la la la la, la la la la la
La la la la la, la la la la la
Do do do do do, ooh
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
Cause lovin' you has made my life so beautiful
And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you
Lovin' you I see your soul come shinin' through
And every time that we, ooh, I'm more in love with you
La la la la la, la la la la la
La la la la la, la la la la la
Do do do do do, ooh oh oh oh oh
La la la la la, la la la la la
La la la la la, la la la la la
Do do do do do, ooh oh oh oh oh
Lovin' you
La la la la la, la la la la la
Do do do do do
Dee do, dee do,
La la la la la la la la
Dee do, dee do, dee do”
Spencer and Jamahi. The Celtics had Sam and KC. The Stones had Brian and Daryl.
Might work.
AA - you took your vitamins AND your energy supplements today. And DickAllen, thanks for joining me in the "we are doomed" chorus, the only chorus that really matters now. Best to know that it's time to double and kiss our asses - and the season - goodbye than to snivel on the battlefield and pretend we're going to make it. We're not. Not this year and not next and not until Brian is gone, along with Boone the Buffoon. All great armies know when it's time to retreat and fight another day. On this blog, we should just be thinking happy thoughts, eating happy food and playing happy music.
We will wait until the storm passes, secure in our tiny boat and knowing that the spirits of Yogi and the Mick will guide us through this existential agony, this colonoscopy of the soul, this cycstoscopy of the psyche, this anal probe of our baseball virginity. We will survive. Some of us may outlive Brian and Hal and get to witness the Great Return. In the meantime, though, we are doomed and it's best not to forget it. All I look forward to is figuring out when we can all convene as a group again - hopefully this year - at the old Stadium, well, the new Stadium, and think happy thoughts, eat happy food, play happy music and watch happy baseball. Are we not men???
Doug, I literally LOL’d at your comment!
Bitty, we are DEVO. D-E-V-O.
13b…..
Just the coffee….
LOTz and lOtZ of cOfFeE
If I wore a stillsuit it would show that roughly 60% of my reclaimed moisture is medium roasted organic Guatemalan Huehuetenango Peaberry.
AA...I used to live in Danbury " The Hat City". I know an arsonist that can solve both of their love-stricken problems. I just have to know their love nest's location.
Bit of trivia: The term "Mad as a Hatter" is a reference to the felt-making process of hats. That might give some insight as why they make such crazy decisions. Here is a more detailed explanation:
"Mercury poisoning of hat-makers – In 18th and 19th century England, mercury was used in the production of felt, which was commonly used in the hat-making trade at the time. Long-term use of mercury products often resulted in mercury poisoning-induced erethism among hat-makers.[1][2] In the late 19th-century United States, a notable example occurred in Danbury, Connecticut, where hat making was a major industry. Instances of erethism were so widespread among hat-makers, the condition became known locally as the "Danbury Shakes." It was characterized by slurred speech, tremors, stumbling, and in extreme cases hallucinations."
Connecticut Carl - I’ll have to do some research next time I’m visiting the recently upgraded Blackstone Public Library.
Carl - that was interesting. Thanks for sharing.
Can't get me no...
sat-is-...-FACT-shun!
Carl, there will definitely not be any satisfaction this season. Soto is going to have an MVP season, and leave The Intern dangling from a building in Stamford with a rope in one hand and his schwantz in the other.
The new kid ( Jamai ) has only one stat that matters.
He did well last year at AAA.
therefporek he'll be an excellent back-up at AA.
Another stiff brought to us by Genius Cashman.
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