On the first TV day of 2024, the top 10 YES personalities, ranked

Today, at 1:05 p.m., the Yankees play a key one-game series against the Blue Jays. 

If they lose, the season is over.

It will appear on YES, whose veteran lineup - frankly - needs a Blake Snell,  somebody we can blame when everything goes sideways.

Seriously, some of the best Yankee TV announcers - Bill White, Tom Seaver, Ken Singleton - bubbled up from the pools of arch-rivals. One of most enjoyable parts of YES is watching a former Met or Cardinal turn Yankee. 

And they all do. It's human nature to root for the team that's paying for your new pontoon. I suggest YES hires Pedro Martinez - a delightful man with a ton of anti-Yankee career baggage. I predict he would become a beloved icon of New York, pissing all over those Boston ingrates. Wouldn't that be wonderful? 

Anyway, because I have nothing to do, here are my Top 10 YES personalities, ranked.

10: Todd Frazier, Ryan Ruocco and Justin Shakil. Lumped together. They haven't really made enough of an impact to make my final will or shitlist. 

9. Jeff Nelson. Came in 2019, plays the "veteran pitcher" card. Occasionally makes a good point. No longer a Seattle plant. 

8. Joe Girardi. Returning after a failed managerial stint in Philly. Who doesn't like Joe - the last Yank manager to win a ring? Also, on the night of that great success, while driving home, he stopped to help a motorist whose car had broken down on aina busy highway. Heroic. The problem: He'll still want to manage. I wonder if he can keep that in check?

7. Meredith Marakovits. After 12 years, she still faces the Plexiglas ceiling, suck in Lady on Sidelines mode. She does old school reporting, talking to players before the  game, but most of her stuff is fluff. I wish she had a chance to do radio, but Suzyn will never leave. Never criticizes or complains, even when she should. Basically, her talent is wasted.

6. Paul O'Neill. What Yank fan doesn't love Pauly. That said, he's stuck in place, relentlessly rooting, the biggest homer on the staff. Has it really been 23 years? Again, you love the guy, but his act is tiring. He's treading water.

5. Michael Kay. Not as awful as we sometimes think. The trouble with Kay is that - in his 33rd year now, and 20th since we won anything - he is uncompromisingly associated with teams that disappointed us. He tries to criticize the Yankees - he must bear his teeth for the radio show - but he never unloads on Hal. Also, there's the music thing. After Springsteen, he seems to think nobody ever made a rock album. What kind of childhood did he experience, if he doesn't even know the Talking Heads? 

4. Bob Lorenz. Steady, competent, underrated - he blends into the flow, dishes off to Jack Curry for the assist. Under-utilized, always in control. He knows his role, and he handles it well.

3. Jack Curry. Always has a fresh factoid, and criticizes players or managerial decisions. (Again, nobody sticks it to Hal.) The problem: His hair. I cannot not see it. Could he wear a ballcap?

2. John Flaherty. Flash. Rare to find a former player so technically skillful as an announcer. He never makes a mistake, and he still has the self-deprecating thing about being a bad hitter. A game called by Flaherty always goes down smoothly. 

1. David Cone. The star, the everyman, he even has a knowledge of 1980's punk rock, which astounds Kay. Coney is the breakout personality, and he's never better than when telling a story. He even makes the Exit Velo seem interesting, though his love of it is a trope. The Yankees must never let him go to ESPN fulltime. Often, he's the best part of a game.