Sunday, February 18, 2024

Top Ten Meaningless Storylines of the Week in the Yankiverse

They're all just dangling, shiny objects, but here goes anyway...

1. Carlos Rodon has lost weight.  

2. Aaron Judge wants to bat third. 

3. Potty-mouth Aaron Boone says team is "hellbent" to win. 

4. Nestor Cortes' injury, which nobody told us about, won't be as bad as we didn't fear. 

5. Cashman is relentlessly churning waiver fodder - McKinley Moore, Jordan Groshans - to improve Scranton roster.

6. When anyone mentions Blake Snell, the Yankees yell that they're done spending. 

7. Jose Trevino's strained calf again proves Yanks can get injured anywhere, at any time, doing anything. 

8. Clean-shaven Alex Verdugo looks like adorable kewpie. 

9. The Yankees won't offer contract extension to Gleyber, won't get a chance to do one with Soto.

10. As Yanks go for broke in '24, Mets seem to be building for long term.

13 comments:

BTR999 said...

If this is “going for broke”, color me unimpressed.

JM said...

The Martian is supposed to be swinging a bat by the end of February.

Trade Verdugo.

ranger_lp said...

Verdugo is Martian insurance...

JM said...

My advice is, never buy Martian insurance. They never pay, and they're so far away, you can't get in touch with them.

Stick to Lunar insurance, is my opinion.

Publius said...

Regarding number 5...Cash's truest talent is as AAA GM. Scranton's been great in the Cashman era. He's a first ballot International League HOFer. In 20 years, there will be a statue of Cash greeting the fans coming through PNC Field's turnstiles. Just not quite world class recognizes just not quite world class.

edb said...

SAME OLD SHIT!

13bit said...

I'm with you, BTR - if this is "going for broke," I'm a reindeer. If this was our attitude in WWII, we'd all be speaking German or Japanese. And, by the way, does anyone remember a WWII movie called "GO FOR BROKE!"? It had Van Johnson and was about the Nisei 442nd Regimental Combat Team. That was their motto. Cashman isn't fit to lick their boots. His idea of "going for broke" means sucking a little harder on Hal's toes. Does that make him a shrimper?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Love it, JM!

And Cashman, I think he was misunderstood. He was trying to say, "We are broke." Either way, lying as always.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And Joe FOB, so we're agreed:

—Kill Hitler

—Kill Stalin

—Oh, all right, kill Mao

—Kill Walter O'Malley. Can't forget about that putz. And while we're at it...Horace Stoneham.

—Kill Putin.

—Kill that Saudi prince guy.

—Kill...no, belay that. Find young Brian Cashman his dream job as an executive in the South Pacific, with tons of cash and surrounded by many beautiful ladies. Do it before he takes over, in 1998.

There, we're done. For now.

AboveAverage said...

Hoss - allow me to respectfully suggest that your kill-list may in fact be far from complete . . . but yah gotta start somewhere, am I right?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Mr. Bit,

I visit the 442 section at punchbowl cemetery every year. The things those guys did were beyond amazing. The most decorated unit of WWII. Trivia fact. Ernie Pyle is buried next to their section.

In a related story, Mr. Sulu was on local TV today talking about being an American and being taken to an internment camp at age five.
The two opposing sides of human nature.

And HAL still sucks donkey testicles. And ca$hole is an idiot.

Doug K. said...

Rufus -

"Ernie Pyle is buried next to their section."

Truly one of the greatest American writers. His war stuff is fantastic but his writings while travelling America in the 30's was a significant contributor to my wanderlust.

https://www.amazon.com/Ernies-America-Ernie-Travel-Dispatches/dp/0394575725

HoraceClarke66 said...

Amen, AA! And yes, both the 442 and Ernie Pyle were amazing—true American heroes, all.