A Shattered City Sends Out a Desperate Plea for Help.

 

Gotham City needs a hero.

The usual Jokers have left Madison Square Garden a ruin, as the Knicks' and Rangers' 13-2 playoff start crashed to a 4-10 finish. 

Their grand total now stands at 3 championships in 161 seasons.

The Penguin Polar Bear has the Mets slumping toward fourth place, as usual, while The Riddler is baffling the Giants' and Jets' seasons already. 

Elsewhere in this vast metropolis, The Sandman has put the Nets, Devils, and Islanders to sleep. Or, to be honest, kept them in their decades-long slumbers.

We need to send out the beacon. No, not that beacon. This one:

All right, so it's not really a beacon so much as a neon light, between what looks like a house plant and maybe a canary cage.

Still. It all comes down to us. 

Since the Giants' last Super Bowl triumph, New York's pro teams have gone a combined 122 seasons without winning a ring. 

Back in the day, fans used to rush out to the airport to greet their heroes when they came back from a road trip like the one your New York Yankees just returned from. In certain, much-slandered, New York cities they still do that.

We need to rally the whole city behind our only remaining Bat heroes. The time is now. Or, you know, in October.