Judge is hot, Stanton is snot.

In keeping with the generally juvenile theme of this post—one that I created, I realize—I think it's time to bring back those perpetual favorites from Highlights magazine, Goofus and Gallant. To wit:

During this weekend's series against the Dodgers, Giancarlo Stanton (Goofus) went 0-14 with SEVEN—count 'em, 7—strikeouts. He drew no walks, and batted in no runs.

By contrast, Aaron Judge (Gallant), was 7-11, with 2 strikeouts, 3 walks, 2 doubles, 3 home runs, 4 runs scored, and 5 runs batted in.

Stanton (Goofus) didn't bat in any runs, because he didn't get a hit. Or even a sharp groundout.

Stanton (Goofus) didn't score any runs, because he didn't get on base.

Stanton (Goofus) left 13 men on base, including 8 men on second or third base, throughout the series.

Judge (Gallant) left one man on first base and one man on second base in the second game, when his long flyball didn't quite get out.

In all, Judge (Gallant) drove in 5 of the 10 runs the Yankees scored in the series.

Over the course of the weekend, Stanton's (Goofus') batting average dropped from .239 to .224, and his OPS dropped from .794 to .746.

Over the course of the same weekend, Judge's (Gallant's) batting average rose from .289 to .305, and his OPS rose from 1.080 to 1.139.

In the field, Judge (Gallant) made 8 putouts without an error.

Stanton (Goofus) doesn't play the field. Or run. But he can lift models over his head.

Oh, Goofus.