Clearly the All-Star Break can’t get here fast enough. In an attempt to “speed the plow” here are my Mid-Season Awards...
The AYGHAB? No! Award
DJ LeMahieu AYG-HAB 0.0
The lowest AYG-HAB (Are You
Glad He's At Bat) since the stat was first used in 1908 by my great grandfather
in Hungary. It was then known as the AYG- BAT (Are You Going to Buy Already
That?) And was used to assess the seriousness of a man looking at a barrel of
herring.)
It's DJ and it's not even close. Some of you might think this is Gleyber's award but he actually gets on base. How else could he be thrown out by upwards of twenty feet?
It's DJ. Still no extra
base hits for a starter who plays a corner position and it's damn near July! I
like the guy. He can still field and I'm sure this is driving him crazy but.
Zero. Point. Zero.
And unlike Belushi he will not end up as a senator unless it's an Ottawa Senator as a puck boy.
Hey, he has a French name.
"Cleanup" On
Aisle Seven Award (Formerly the Danger Man Award)
Aaron Boone
Before analytics the clean-up hitter was the most feared hitter on the team, now, thanks to Boone's mismanagement, it goes to virtually anyone - even the new guy and lowest person on the totem pole.
"Tell Jahmai Jones to grab a mop and wipe up all those broken mayonnaise jars before someone, probably Stanton, breaks his leg.”
How bad has it become? A couple of nights ago Gleyber was batting clean-up.
The Ed Whitson Award
Gleyber Torres
I'm not sure when hating on
a member of our team became a thing. Recent award winners include Gary
Sanchez and Josh Donaldson.
This year's winner going away, and we wish he would, is Gleyber Torres. Part of it is WE KNOW he can be better. We've seen it. Part of it is WE KNOW he can't.
Gleyber has the lowest baseball IQ I've ever seen. I keep waiting for him to fail to throw to first because he thinks the ball is an apple and takes a bite out of it because he's hungry.
The MOCA Award
This one is for us…
Quick name five Yankee Middle Relievers. You can't? It’s OK, you don't have Alzheimer’s. Not even Boone can keep track of some of these guys' comings and goings. I think he calls them all "Relievy" now.
That's it. Hopefully the All Star Break shows up soon.
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44 comments:
Hating on a member of our team became a thing for me when Stephen Drew was playing. Still have nightmares of him slouching in and out of the batter's box.
I can't hate anyone on the team, but I sure can dislike a few. Strongly.
That's pretty damned funny, Doug. And...depressing, at the same time. Which pretty much describes our New York Yankees.
Watching this team reminds me of a cat we used to have, a big old, orange tabby named Roscoe.
Roscoe was actually pretty smart. But in that cat way, he just didn't get some things. Once, we had to give him eye drops, a couple times a day for several days.
EVERY TIME, he stared intently up at the dropper, watching the drop fall all the way down, and then jerked away in surprise when the drop hit his eyeball. Every time.
This is where Brian Cashman is as a GM: about the equivalent of an aging, mesmerized cat.
This is spot on Doug, well done! And I swear, every time I check in on the game and see bases loaded with one out, some Yankee hits into a double play,,,, there must be an oh shit another rally killer stat, and the Yankees must be a bazillion miles in the lead!
Thanks Doug! This is why I bother getting out of bed in the morning!
The best way to avoid hitting into a DP is to choke up a bit and go the other way. A time tested method of situational hitting. MLB hitters resist this bc it might “mess up their swing”
Nicely done - Doug!
So earlier today I was at my local Trader Joes - purchasing up a hand-basket full of items (mostly dog treats) and I was wearing one of my brightly colored alternative yankees jerseys (something like this: https://www.ebay.com/itm/256525638144?chn=ps&mkevt=1&mkcid=28 - much nicer IMHO than those AWFUL Red Sox yellow and blue abominations) and, as I go to check out, the cashier says:
TJ Cashier: "Nice Jersey! Are you a big Yankees Fan?"
AA: "I am"
TJ Cashier: "How do you think they doing?"
AA: "They're playing terribly right now. It's embarrassing."
TJ Cashier: "Do you think Cole's return has something to do with that?"
AA: "Some people do - but I believe that the problems with the Yankees goes much, much deeper."
TJ Cashier: (Shaking his head in agreement) "Do you like Boone and Cashman?"
AA: (A bit confused) "WAIT - Are you a Yankees fan?"
TJ Cashier: "No - I'm just really into baseball."
AA: "No I do not like Boone or Cashman - they are two thirds of the Yankees problem."
TJ Cashier: "Hal Steinbrenner the other third?"
AA: "Yep!"
TJ Cashier: "Paper bag?"
AA: "Please."
TJ Cashier: "Well I hope they play better. Have a nice day!"
AA: "Me too - and you too!"
I am in NY and also went to a Trader Joes today. It went more like this.
Cashier: Yankee cap.
Me: Yep.
C: The Yankees suck!
Me: Tell me about it.
C: Would you like a paper bag?
Me: No I'm good.
C: Maybe you could wear it on your fucking head instead of that stupid cap.
Me: Yeah OK. I'll take a bag.
C: I'm going next Tuesday.
My Trader Joe’s encounter actually happened.
Yours, however was much funnier.
What time for everyone not named Judge to go into a slump...and that includes the pitchers...
And I'm STILL laughing at the image of Gleyber picking up the ball and thinking it's an apple, it's so fucking funny because it's so fucking plausible LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many here think that Rodon is going to have a complete breakdown on the field?
This is AMAZING!!!!
AA - Yes totally. He's gotten every bad break a pitcher can get so far. He's cursed I tell ya. Cursed!
Jesus, Rodon blows with vigor. Five runs and no outs.
Even the green screen behind home plate is malfunctioning
Think I'll stick to US vs Panama.
Tuning in a few minutes late and I see we’re down5-0 in the first inning.
The really sad thing? I’m not surprised. At all.
When you’ve seen one Canal JM, you’ve seen them all.
Alimentary?
Wow - can they fix the digi-screens behind home plate please
Cripes, now Panama is ahead 2-1. Playing with 10 guys for almost the whole game takes its toll.
Alimentary, my Dear JM..,
Another blowout loss.
Will anybody EVER be held responsible?
It’s gotta be Boone’s fault
This is incredible. Another blowout off the starter. It's a full meltdown.
Well, I’ll take responsibility.
I said Rodon would win 9 in our preseason poll, and the gods are holdin’ me to it.
Checked in here to realize the game was actually on (supposedly).
Yet another reason to love this site. I no longer need to tune into the game.
And Doug, you are as good as the last guy I saw in the Catskills. (And he was good)
Don't forget to tip your servers. It will be an early night for them and they need the money.
I foresee Rodon pulling an Anthony Perkins in the clubhouse showers tonight in Toronto.
Statistically, this is way out of probability. Astonishing. For every starter to suddenly collapse, and every hitter outside of Judge and Volpe and Soto (maybe) to stop hitting completely... it's just fantastic.
Holy shite!
Is this really happening. I just got a black eye when I checked on the score.
Grisham doesn't actually suck.
Fuck this. I'm going into witness protection.
Can you imagine how George would be feeling right about now if he was still alive?
Boone would be back in the booth
Dick - Boone wouldn’t be back in the booth. He’d be banned from the stadium.
The background behind home plate is still broken.
Roofy - CAN YOU PLEASE FIX THAT!
Thank you.
There’s no DEBATING that I may switch the channel in about five and a half minutes…
Wink Wink Nudge Nudge
Isn't it about time for one of those shake-up-the-ballclub moves & fire the manager?
To AA,
My magic 8-ball says: "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis?"
To Hinkey Haines,
That time was actually four or five years ago.
PLEASE don't forget to tip your servers.
I blame HAL for giving us this fucking useless team and me having to look for Gilligan's Island reruns or watch EVERY FUCKING CHANNEL WITH DRIVEL aka a debate.
Winnie has the best approach, yet we will miss him.
Thank you, I'll take my BP meds now.
Have a good evening.
Olympic Trials are on
How can all of our starters collapse at the same time? It's incredible.
I wonder how many teams have collapsed like this after a great start.
I know of one team….
You guys have hit upon the key question:
How WAS it that all of our starters looked great—even major-league all-time best great, collectively—and now all look miserable?
Possible reasons:
—Injuries. Sure, Schmidt got hurt, and Cole isn't all the way back yet. And maybe something's going on with Gil. But they can't ALL be hurt at the same time.
—Fewer tomato cans. No question, they've been facing better hitting teams. But a lot of these teams—the Mets, Boston, Toronto—aren't so great.
—Pitch tipping. Baseball is a game of constant actions and reactions. Other teams have no doubt been studying our pitchers, and have caught them tipping their pitches.
Okay, that happens. But then WE have to react: go over the same films, correct the tips.
Have we done that under our genius management? What do you think?
Joe Biden had a better night than Brian Cashman.
Publius - you meant to make a point there
The Ed Whitson award must go to Carlos Rodon.
Between the Yankees and Biden's performances, I'm close to suicidal.
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