Golden Oldies

Many years ago, when I was younger and less beaten about the head and neck by life, I wrote some new words to old Christmas songs (inspired at the time by Doug K, no less).

Life since has had its moments, but also too many sad and bad ones. I'm currently not sure I can be "creative" enough to do something new for this year's IIH Holiday Extravaganza. So I dug out those old lyrics, which, except for a fleeting reference to Bryce Harper when he was a free agent (and wanted to be a Yankee, but Cash wasn't interested), have held up.

There was one song based on Larry Rothschild that I've omitted. Too bad, I liked that one, but hey. Gotta go with the times.

(To the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town")

You better not bunt
You better not try
Hit into the shift, I'm telling you why
Brian C is coming to town

With hollowed out eyes
And shiny bald dome
Rappelling rope
And Randy the gnome
Brian C is coming to town

He see when you're in rehab
He knows when you can't hit
He's gonna call your agent up
With a contract not worth spit

So, swing for the fence
And never ask why
Who cares if you whiff
And make the fans cry?
Brian C is coming to town









(To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas")

Good King Hal the Poor looked out
With his chauffeur, Steven
All free agents knew his clout
Though is 'twas uneven

Brightly shone our hopes that night
Though the tax was cru-el
But our good king just sat tight
Laughing at us foo--oo--ls








(To the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas")

We wish you a Merry Hot Stove
We wish you a Merry Hot Stove

We wish you a Merry Hot Stove

And a new ring this year

Good signings to you

From Corbin to Bryce

We wish you a Merry Hot Stove

Come on, let's roll the dice

We wish you a Merry Hot Stove
We wish you a Merry Hot Stove

We wish you a Merry Hot Stove
And a twelve dol-lar be-e-e-r