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First, let me thank you and any other phantasmal entities for shepherding me through these dark and turbulent times. I appreciate that I haven't been shot in a Wegmans or deported to Borneo. Knock on wood.
But today, I wish to formally revise my hopes for the 2025 Yankees.
Since the February arrival of pitchers and catchers, I have desperately wanted the Yankees to win the 2025 World Series, to avenge last year's embarrassing finale, and to break the organization's 16-year skein of cockroach-burger seasons. I'm starting to think that references to the team should include the sarcastic suffix, "2009 World Champs!" to spotlight our ongoing humiliation.
I no longer believe I will live long enough to see the Yankees - 2009 World Champs! - win it all. They have emptied me.
Thus, I no longer consider winning the World Series to be a realistic request. Nope. The 2025 Yankees won't get there. It's the bullpen. We've all seen it. We all know the truth: This is not a championship unit, no lead is safe, and nobody will rise from the muck to save us.
Therefore, I humbly request a secondary outcome.
It looks as though the Yankees will face Boston in a three-game wild card series.
Please, I beg of you, let the Yankees win it.
That's all. Let us knock out the Redsocks. After that, feel free to unleash the humiliations. I won't carp. Well, actually, there is a second request: That Aaron Judge win the MVP award. I'm posting stats to bolster the case. I do this, because I think he'll get dissed by the voters, who love to screw the Yankees, 2009 World Champs!
So, that's all. Just let us beat Boston, and I'll not whine. And if you can, don't let Judge be overlooked simply because his great seasons are the norm.
Do that, and I'll be happy. Even if I'm watching from a bar in Borneo.
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27 comments:
Being deported to Papua New Guinea would be worse.
That, or being a Mets fan.
Does the 1st Amendment protect me on this blog? If not, I'm just going to write haikus about my dog from this point on. I hope "they" like dogs.
He is a good boy.
He likes the Yankees a lot.
We both hate Brian.
Okay, is that safe?
Sometimes I think we're all crazy for devoting any time and attention to baseball while the Republic is being dismantled and the Constitution trampled under jackbooted foot. Everyone in the U.S. of A. should probably be marching in the streets, raising hell, and refusing to give up their rights.
I am in Germany. People here have a long memory, even if the AfD is gaining votes (still well under 20%). They see what's happening in American and can't believe Americans are allowing it to happen. They know where it ends up.
So I cling to baseball and this blog and this collection of sometimes rational and always heartening posters and commenters. By rights, we should despise the Yankees, their right-wing players and former players, and most of all, their owners. But it's hard to hate your life raft.
But they have such wonderful coffee
The diamonds?
A proper cure for the Yankees?
I’m glad you asked.
Thank you.
Nuclear core meltdown nerve death pain in tooth number 14.
F U n with a capital FU.
I love DOG haikus
At least it's something you can get your teeth into.
Good thing they did that moment of silence thing the other night. Season would have been cancelled otherwise.
(hope I didn't say too much in case "they" were listening)
Actually, JM - perhaps only one, single tooth into a solitary medical waste receptacle.
Ouch.
13B...with advanced AI and algorithms, you'll never escape Pam Bondi's eye. Have fun in Papua New Guinea or El Salvador.
March in the street. Are you crazy? There are too many reruns of "Three's Company" to watch.
Not to worry, Mildred... Randy Levine will save you!
I'm pretty sure we're all good here. Otherwise all of us would have been disappeared a decade ago.
Hang on, I'll get back to you. There's someone banging on the door...
True. Joyce DeWitt was prettier than Suzanne, just like Maryann was better than Ginger. Your mileage may vary.
I thought you were going to the head shrinker (er, um ya know, I mean- the dentist) yesterday. Did they not accept New Guinea based bit-coin?
ED, remember that thing I sent you about the bullpen and Mercury Retrograde? Sort of came true...
On SCTV they called her Joyce DeHalfwitt.
I did - and was referred to an endodontist
You are all correct in that it really doesn’t matter. But that’s part of the allure of sports; if your team flops it doesn’t really affect your life in any meaningful way, and you get a do over the next season. For veteran fans such as us the problem is we remember past glories, and must instead suffer the current brand of nostalgia submerged in a cynically created product where profit, not performance, reigns supreme. All presented by a jackass “manager”, a ringmaster of gaslighting who should be in top hat and tails instead of muddying the most iconic uniform in all of sports.
Ranger....Mercury retrograde happens quite often which results in communications getting messed up in some manner. But in retrograde or prograde, the Yankees bullpen is a horror show.
Beat Boston and the MVP for Judge? I agree, those are reasonable dreams/goals. May the Gods not be vicious for us having such thoughts.
I never thought I would like a root canal, until I needed one. Once the pain went away, it was glorious.
https://youtu.be/uMyCa35_mOg?si=hc-q94A3KZ-4jaJj
Go for the ether until then.
AMEN, JM, AMEN
I remember my first root canal. He told me they were filling the void with gutta percha and I was about to go into a diatribe about gutta percha, but he told me to open wider and not say anything. Pretty convenient for him, eh? I agree with the rest of the elder gents here that, as you get older, root canals surpass sex. Now, decades later, I am here to tell you about implants and how much more satisfying they are than anything that has ever happened to me in bed, except for spooning with my dog. That beats all. I'm not even looking at the standings lately...
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