In the bidding war for Munetaka Murakami, the Yankees will do what they do best: Finish runner-up.

A new potential Dodger has appeared on the vaporous horizon.

Team Sushi will probably add to its stable of young Japanese stars, shelling out a meager $160 million - table scraps compared to the Soto/Musk/Trump/Putin Scale of Obscene Wealth.

Munetaka Murakami - (Fun fact: His nickname "Murakami-sama" (feats of the Gods) was Japan's word of the year in 2022) - is a 25-year-old LH slugging corner infielder, said to be shaky at 3B and to strike out too often, who will probably land at 1B, which makes him a lousy a fit for the Dodgers, but they'll sign him anyway (unless Stevie Cohen jetisons Pete Alonso and joins the bidding. Let's hope.) 

In another time, in another Yankiverse, the mighty Bronx Bombers would point to the RF porch and let nothing interfere with their pursuit of Murakami. Remember how it was? Didn't matter if the guy didn't fit. A lefty slugger, fresh on the market - he was ours. Sign first, figure out later. The Yankees ruled baseball through summer and winter, and the brightest stars wanted to play in New York. Tommy John, who played everywhere, once said that every great player needed to experience a season as a NY Yankee. 

Yep, those were the days. They're gone. Not coming back. 

Case in point: Is not Kyle Schwarber the absolute reincarnation of Jason Giambi, a giant DH who plays in the field? Giambi took number 25 on the Yankees because the numbers added up to seven - for Mickey Mantle, his dad's favorite player. Schwarber is a free agent, and throughout the impending auction, you won't hear a girlish peep from the Yankees. He'll probably re-sign with Philadelphia, unless the Dodgers get him, along with Murakami, because - why not? Or maybe Stevie Cohen will sign them both. 

Either way, the Yankees will be what they've been throughout this millennium: a recurring afterthought. Every October, they become the Party Animals, the team that plays second tier to the Savannah Bananas. 

But this is supposed to be about Murakami, a man nicknamed for Godlike events. He'd make a fine additition to a lineup with a guy named for a planet. In the old days, it wouldn't even matter if Murakami turned out to be a dud. Old George would get his rocks off just criticising the guy. But now, we all know Murakami will not be a Yankee. The reasons: 

1. We have Ben Rice at 1B. 

2. We have Ryan McMahon at 3B.

3. We don't need another 150 strikeouts per season.

As ABOVE AVERAGE points out below, Hal just won't spend the money. Case closed. He still remembers his dad signing Reggie for $3.5 million (over five years), and he wonders why he should spend more? Hal is 55. He's healthy. Still has his hair. He's not firing anybody. He's not throwing things. He's in Tampa. He surely owns a yacht. He's 10 years away from moving to The Villages, where maybe he'll catch the clap and get sick. He's not stressing out. He's not going anywhere. 

And neither is his team.