Wednesday, December 17, 2025

Ten reasons why the Yankees must sign Tatsuya Imai

1. Instead of joining Ohtani bandwagon, guy wants to beat the goddam Dodgers.

2. Yanks haven't signed a stud Japanese pitcher since Masahiro Tanaka in 2014.

3. Tanaka was a hero: Seven years on a fraying elbow, a lifelong Yankee. 

4. If Yanks flub Imai, fallback Michael King would mean forfeiting two high draft picks and international spending money. Imai has no strings attached. (Note: Yank farm system in the tank due to 2025 trade deadline garage sales. Yank's recent Rule 5 draft pick, somebody named Cade Winques, already showing up on team prospect rankings. Since when do Rule 5 picks rate so highly? Is the system a shambles?)

5. Last May, Imai was named the official Taiju Life Insurance Monthly MVP. 

6. In July, he struck out 17 in one game, surpassing a record held by Daisuke Matsuzaka, aka the Redsocks' Dice-K.

7. Guy is 27 and tiny:  5'11" and 154 pounds. Yank fans will love him.

8. Current opening day rotation: Fried, Schlittler, Warren, Gil and your Aunt Gertrude. 

9. Repeating: Instead of climbing aboard the Coors Lite Peace Train, this guy wants to beat the goddam Dodgers.

10. Finally figured out how to spell Tatsuya.

Still furnace-sitting in upstate Klondike. 

12 comments:

13bit said...

El D - While all that you say is true, you remain based in the reality and fact-based world, so there is no reason to have hope. Remember - the economy is great, Venezuela is a threat to our sovereignty, Jared Kushner needs a handout, and the Yankees are in great shape and don't need ANY new players. See? I fixed that for you.

We are great.

We are doomed.

We are just galley slaves (should I say "enslaved people peopling the oars on a galley?)

Hal is the Captain of this ship. Brian is the navigator. Boone is wandering around below decks, thinking cool ways to say "We're lost at sea."

God bless America and God bless the Yankees, THE TEAM OF THE CENTURY.

13bit said...

PS - Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

My aunt Trudy has a mean change-up...

AboveAverage said...

PPS: E (a horse is a horse of course of course) D. (Call your Doctor if your erection lasts more than four seconds ) Whilst furnace sitting I sorta kinda couldn’t help but to wonder and therefore ask what exactly are you sitting on ?
Bean bag, love seat, stool, rocker, unopened 18 pack of Genesee Cream Ale . . . please advise.

Oh and JM……..If you could describe Aaron Boone in two words. . . ?

JM said...

Let's see...an idiot? That works for me.

Guys still available if Hal wasn't a tightwad:

Bregman 3B
Bichette SS
Bellinger or Tucker LF
Imai P

Those are the most obvious to me. I'm sure you guys have others. Not that any of it matters.

13bit said...

In Yonkers, those little, squat bottles were called "Genny Screamers"

13bit said...

But the cheapest beer - always - at the Waldbaums on Central Avenue, were the six packs of "Knickerbocker Natural."

AboveAverage said...

Ewwwwwwing tall boys

Doug K. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doug K. said...

Yes to Tatsuya.

Just want to take a moment to congratulate the former Big East Player of the Year Tyler Kolek and the New York Knicks on winning the cup. While I do not like the Cup's origin and the money and people behind it, holding a mid season tournament was a good idea.

Kolek and Brunson and Hart are three guys who are a pleasure to watch, They get the most out of themselves and have intangible qualities on the court that can best be called "desire".

They have to be beaten because they refuse to lose. Something this Yankee's team rarely if ever shows.

Also, Mike Brown was clearly watching the game and reacted accordingly and didn't go with the lineups that were "pre-programmed" or based on salary.

I know that basketball substitutes differently than baseball but it was great to see the situational engagement. Another thing we don't get enough of over here.

Hey, Knicks! Well done.

Next up: The Back Covers Championship! Take it from these entitled losers!
It's all in front of you!

el duque said...

Unless the Yankees make a big trade or sign somebody of note, the Knicks are going to dethrone them from the BACK PAGE CROWN.

HoraceClarke66 said...

They ARE the team of the Century, Bitty! Just not...this century.