Now: The Instant Create-a-Rumor Template

Hey, there, lonely blog visitor! Wanna be a bigtime player in the info-tainment world of bigtime hot stove bullpoop? Of course, you do!

And now you can!

Just choose one from each of the following options, paste it onto the comments section of your fave blog, and, hey, you're not readin' bullpoop -- you're poopin' it!

Here goes...

According to...
a) Petey Gammons...
b) George King's proctologist...
c) the very credible website, IT IS HIGH...

... Brian Cashman has set his sights on...
a) Matt Holliday
b) Ray Halliday
c) Evan Longoria
d) Eva Longoria

... and he's willing to part with...
a) Melky and cash.
b) Robbie and cash.
c) Melky, Robbie, cash and his left nut.

Meanwhile, the Yanks want to resign...
a) Bobby Abreu.
b) Bobby Meachem.
c) Bobby Meachem... and then fire him again!

As for Joba, he'll be used as a...
a) starter
b) reliever.
c) designated hitter.
d) designated driver.

One analyst, using sophisticated software capable of handling unprecedented amounts of raw data, has concluded that Derek Jeter last year...
a) was the game's worst fielder.
b) batted .300.
c) was the sexiest man on the planet.

Now, I hear the Yankees want Manny Ramirez because...
a) he's a stern competitor.
b) it'll really piss off Curt Schilling.
c) he's the one guy more perfect for Madonna than A-Rod.

Oh, well. Thus far, it's been a great off-season! The Yanks have managed to sign...
a) Sergio Mitre.
b) Sergio Mitre.
c) Sergio Mitre.