Open Letter to Yankiverse: Let's Not Be Cheap Bastards

Dear Madams or Sirs:

Lately, some bloggers have questioned whether CC and AJ are worth $220 million.

Those people are fools.

Let us remember the one central tenet of Yankee fandom.

It's not our money. It's free money.

It's the way all money should be.

If humankind ever shall shed the shackles of earthly materialism, Yankee fans must lead the way.

We must remain above the minimum-wage hellhole of rat-infested slums and bright yellow mustards. Isn't that why we became Yankee fans?

Remember: In baseball, we are rich as Saudi princes, without beheading servants.

Let Royals fans argue about Gil Meche's pay.

We wiped Pavano's buttocks with million dollar bills. We spent more on Arod's clam dip than the Pirates do on their bullpen. And Ponson's legal bills? Let him punch another judge and put it on his expense account.

Remember: When you, the Yankee fan, enter a room, you give off the sweet scent of money. The gals can smell it. They'll crowd close, hoping to catch your eye and maybe -- just maybe -- accompany you to Scranton for Kei Igawa backrub.

Let's not stress over earthly objects.

Especially at Christmas.

Let's open our presents and see what Santa has brought. Let's not look at the price tag.

Who knows? Maybe we'll find a Mark Teixeira Action Figure.

That's what we want, Santa. And we've been good!