Sunday, April 8, 2012

If I were an opposing manager, I would run the overshift on all the Yankees; they are either too stupid or too stubborn to adjust

Most major league hitters would salivate to see seven defenders sardined on one side of the field. Automatic hit. Adjust the swing and stroll to first. They could bat .400.

Not the Yankees, though. No sir. They're the Yankees! They never adjust. Just swing harder! Defenders bunched together? Drive it down their throats! We'll show 'em!

In game one, Curtis Granderson smacked two shots up the middle. One turned into a doubleplay, the other, a routine out. This, mind you, from Grandy, one of baseball's most eloquent speechmakers and a rare player with the speed to beat out a bunt and steal second. Seven defenders in right? Adjust? The Grandy Man can't.

Then there is the King of Swing: Mark Teixiera, alias "The Man Who Is Going To Change His Ways." (Already, a vast, secret fear is roiling the Yankiverse that Tex will swirl down the Giambi drain - an all-or-nothing batter, a human pop-up in the middle of our order.) Last night, we're down 8-2 with two men on base. A three-run blast would be nice. But frankly, a single would be sweeter. The Rays clog the right side - as everybody does against our boy - and the Texiambino blasts one to right - a solid hit if those pesky Rays weren't cheating, which turns into a rally-killing DP. (If there was ever a time for Tex to show the league he's changed, wouldn't it be early in the season and in the late innings of a blowout?)

But wait, there's more. Last night, Tampa overshifted on Arod! Arod! Nobody does that? Everybody knows Alex is too smart. Well, did he shorten his swing? Hell, no. He's not being paid $250 million to shorten his swing.

At one point late last night, when most thinking fans had migrated to the WWE, the John Chancellors of the YES booth discussed these Tampa overshifts. I think it was Michael Kay who said - reassuringly, like Churchill speaking to the war-stricken Brits - that only Tampa does this stuff. Other teams don't. We shouldn't worry. 

Listen: Worry! We just crapped the bed in two winnable games. And if our mighty all-stars can't take advantage of 90 percent of the field being as open as the Mohave Desert, then good night, Irene, because we're playing for a Wild Card at best. Our rivals will stack players like Leggos, and we'll hit into the teeth of it. You are either a smart team or a losing team. Thus far, we look like pugs, and our star firstbaseman is the biggest of all.

7 comments:

JM said...

Remember Kevin Bacon in Animal House? Walking around in the midst of the complete chaos and carnage unleashed by Belushi & Co. at the end of the movie? Saying, 'Relax. Remain calm. All is well.'

Michael Kay has turned into Kevin Bacon. Can't keep his weight in check for more than a few months...unlike his hot stuff wife (Bob Hope lecher growl here)...but he has the part down.

Remain calm. All is well. Field box seats now marked down to $750...

Alphonso said...

With respect to Texiera, please see item #6 of my predictions.

Alphonso said...

Also please note item #7; Nunez will make an error in every game he starts.

bennyboy said...

I swear I'd bench Tex. Giradi should tell him that for every at-bat he fails to take advantage of that shift, he gets benched a full game. No shot of coming into that game, unless Eric Chavez's glass bones happen to break. Same treatment for Grandy, A-Rod and Swisher when he bats lefty.

I waited seven years for that unholy Giambi contract to expire, and I'll be damned to watch this crap again.

bennyboy said...

Duque, can we have a "Bring Back Luis Sojo" petition? Watch Eduardo Nunez field is like watching a fat kid try to ask a pretty girl to dance during Jr. Prom. You cringe, and you simultaneously feel pity and anger at the kid for even trying.

Bye Bye Balboni said...

It's amazing that more teams don't do this to us, and do it more often too. We'd better start stuffing the minor league rosters with as many slap hitters who can bunt and go the other way as we can -- NOW.

Stang said...

During Sunday's game, a worried Suzyn asked John if now we're going to have to put up with this shift thing all year long from every team. John gravely observed that coaches and managers tend to copy what works, so yes.