Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Where was Syracuse in the Jeter doctoral sweepstakes?

Siena College is awarding Derek Jeter an honorary doctorate -- a safe, crowd-pleasing, celebrity suck-up, seeing as how Jeet is a true master of the baseball arts and sciences, who could someday donate a dormitory, and - hell, it beats giving it to the measily lab rat who conceived the concept of mandatory transvaginal ultrasound. (BTW, did any school ever annoint Dr. Berra?)

Nothing against Siena, but couldn't Doc Jeet score some upscale Ivy League wall candy? Obviously, Harvard wouldn't bite. But Yale should have been all over this like chloroform on a butterfly. And how asleep in hotel mgmt class was Cornell? They must think just because Tim Tebow will be training in Cortland, they don't need to beat the bushes for celebrity doctoral meat. They'll end up giving one to Freddy Garcia.

Frankly, before Jeet accepted the offer from Siena, Syracuse should have put in a bid. SU is now promoting itself as New York City's collegiate sports team, even scheduling "home games" in the Meadowlands. They could hang Jeet's picture in the Dome next to Jim Brown and Dave Bing and built him a home on the newly dredged Onondaga Lake. He could accept his award, touch off a binge riot on Marshall Street and be back to the Stadium by first pitch. Siena? I don't understand. And where the hell was Marist? Whenever I see that school, I still think of Roger. (WHO SHOULD BE IN THE HALL.)

Paging Dr. Rivera.


Anonymous said...

I always wondered if the Manchurian Candidate – McLame – would make an appearance. I think he is a victim of Stockholm Syndrome, too.

Joe De Pastry said...

Montclair State U. made Yogi a doctor. I think St Louis U., also.