Three in a row. As they say in Hollywood, ringadingding,
baby.
Now, OK… I know what you’re thinking:
“Duque, wow, I mean,
omygod, it’s like, minga! You’ve saved the Yankee season! Now that you’ve rendered
unto humanity the secrets of juju, it’s like you taught us to fish, rather than
giving us a fish, were you planning to do that? Because, wow, now the Yankees
can win every game!”
Reader, have I ever told you that you are far smarter than the
average Internet lardbrain? Because. You. Are. And dammit, you nailed it. There
is absolutely no reason why the Yankees cannot win every game. Every game.
But…
We shouldn’t win them all. We must parcel out NJI bombs in a
way that keeps authorities off the Yankee tail. If we just the table – 90 straight
wins – people will get suspicious. There will be a federal investigation of
this site. Authorities will mount a crackdown. Not only that, but we might as
well forget about signing Cole Hamel next winter, because MLB will never allow
it. Therefore, we must stop at five, maybe six a row. And we cannot simply hold
another NJI.
The juju bump goes only so far, and you do not want to run
two national interventions in close proximity: It’s like drinking a keg of amoxicillin
to derail a cold, and then entering a Long John Silver’s to find the sneezing counter-girl
has a bad case of flesh-eating disease. You’ve played your hand.
Still… three in a row, baby! Arod and Teixeira may be coming
around. We still have nothing on the Thruway – Betances couldn’t throw strikes
last night, but Ronnier Mustellier, the Cubist international man of mystery,
hit another homer. Three in a row!
Today, let’s sweep our living rooms with an imaginary juju
broom.
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1 comment:
I especially like how the NJI took 24 hours to take effect. In a courtroom, you can always point to the Bombers' miserable loss the night of the NJI to prove there is no such thing as juju. You are one sly dog, sir.
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