Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Yankee talking points for upcoming anti-Redsock campaign

REDSOCK CLAIM: The Yankees spend too much money and are exploding Major League Baseball's deficit.

YANKEE RESPONSE: Talk about wasting money; Curt Schilling just cost the good people of Rhode Island $100 million.

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REDSOCK CLAIM: The Yankee batting order has drifted too far to the left and is out of touch with the America League.

YANKEE RESPONSE: The Yankees recognize the civil rights of switch-hitters, and it's time for Boston's ridiculous stance to move into the new millenium.

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REDSOCK CLAIM: The Yankees lack of business sense caused them to blow the Jesus Montero trade.

YANKEE RESPONSE: By dealing Montero, we created jobs for Yankee catchers and DHs.
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REDSOCK CLAIM: With the number of Yankees injuries, MLB can't afford to pay for the team's health care.

YANKEE RESPONSE: Talk about health care, the Redsocks are still trying to thaw out the head of Ted Williams.

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REDSOCK CLAIM: Arod is too old.

YANKEE RESPONSE: It's absurd that Boston is still questioning Arod's birth certificate, which says he's only 36.

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REDSOCK CLAIM: Ex-Yankee Roger Clemens used illegal performance enhancing drugs.

YANKEE RESPONSE: Another flip-flop! The Redsocks created Clemens, and the Yankees employment of him was a virtual carbon copy of his work in Boston.

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REDSOCK CLAIM: The Yankees are a failed American League East champion, and the people of the America League want a change.

YANKEE RESPONSE: The championship is five months away. A lot can happen between now and then.

3 comments:

Joe De Pastry said...

Rangers sign Oswalt.
Yankees claim a Rays reject on waivers.
We don't spend money anymore.

John M said...

Hey, what's so bad about the Waivers? That Pete Seeger was great, and all those terrific Woody Guthrie and folk tunes they did...I mean, they were way better than the Kingston Trio or Peter, Paul and Mary.

I think the Yankee front office is looking at Seeger, in fact, for a minor league contract as a roving outfielder who plays banjo while chasing down liners. Sure, he's in his 90s, but the guy can still play. I mean, look at Ibanez.

Rhett Blankette said...

"A lot can happen between now and then" Sadly most of it is bad.