An Above Average Haikuless Tuesday - Special Election Day Edition !

 no HAIKU today

just PONDERING the future

Twenty Twenty SUX ?

"The sharp pain may age to a dull ache, but it will never go away. You will go hours, then days, then weeks without thinking about how close you came—and then something will remind you, and it will hurt all over again. Who you were last week is not who you will be for the rest of your life. You are ruined; you are a ruined human being."

 Toronto is learning what it's like to be a modern Yankee fan.

Man overboard. Bellinger has jumped the Yankee ship.

Whosh. Did you feel that rush of cold, clammy, November air? 

That was Clay Bellinger's kid, Cody, officially bolting for the door. 

Yesterday, Bellinger ditched his $25 million one-year Yankee option, heading for the Corona Beer tent of free agency. He even deleted his Yankee profile on Instagram. He's like Rosamund Pike in that Ben Affleck movie - a Gone Girl Guy. Off to try the free market of capitalism, while the Yankees try to avoid charges of criminal malpractice. 

On behalf of the Yankiverse, I wish Bellinger luck, health and bricks of gold. I sorta hoped the Yankees could frontload a three-year deal - like Shohei Ohtani's magically deferred payments with the Dodgers - and make him the Yankee CF, at least until Spencer Jones proves relevant. 

That's a pipe dream, of course. I doubt Bellinger can cover - from April to October - the area code that is Yankee Stadium centerfield. Everybody likes Belli, but is there a path for him to anchor a championship Yankee team?

This winter, I believe the Yankees must do three things:

1. They must decide on their two biggest prospects - The Martian and Spencer Jones. Both might suck; that's baseball, Suzyn. Every year, some rising team wins the World Series by beating a tired Yankee roster of 30-somethings. Jasson Dominguez is 22. Jones is 24. Each needs a shot. And if the Yankees bring back Belli (and to a less likely chance, Trent Grisham), there will be no openings. Another tired old team, good enough for a wild card. 

2. They need pitching, pitching, pitching. They cannot depend on anybody. Every spring, they show up touting their rotational depth, and then watch several key arms go down. Right now, they have Max Fried, Will Warren, Cam Schlittler and Luis Gil. After that, Carlos Rodon is hurt; Gerrit Cole won't be back until June, Clarke Schmidt might not be back at all, and the farm is threadbare. The Yankees must sign a major starter, maybe two, maybe three. Last year, the Dodgers went through stretches with an Injury List all-star rotation. They just planned for October, and it worked.  

3. They need Gold Glove defense up the middle. The final teams this October fielded defensive burners in CF. The Yankees had Grisham - solid, but not great. There is a notion that Bellinger can play CF, or maybe Jazz Chisholm. I doubt either would last the season. The Yankees need someone who can fly. That would require Jones to prove his news clippings are true, and/or Dominguez to make great strides. (He's got the wheels; he needs to put in the work.) Same goes for SS, but we've wasted enough ink on that black hole. 

It's rare for a player's professionalism and character to impress the Yankees as much as Bellinger did last season - and then to watch him depart. Six years ago, they invested in DJ LeMahieu for just that reason. It backfired. Last winter, they watched the human loyalty-sinkhole, Juan Soto, follow the cash and never look back. 

The days of great players wanting to play for the Yankees are over. If anything, a ring-hungry veteran will want to go to the Dodgers, or maybe even Toronto. The Yankees are just another team that feels the whoosh, and wonders who just went out the door?

Some guys were born to be Yankees

 

Come on, Brain! This is our kind of guy!

(What do you say to a drunken sailor early in the morning?)

Get excited, everybody! Yanks take 4th in 2026 ESPN Power Rankings!

Hey, everybody, START SPREADIN' THE NEWS! 

The Yankees - winners of 27 world championships, including as recently as 2009! - look to be almost unstoppable in 2026, according to the latest ESPN Power Rankings!

Not only that, but in today's internet write-up, the Power Rankers say - get this, critics and nonbelievers: "There is an argument to rank the Yankees first, overall!"

 Wow! And I mean this, sincerely: Holy crap! Plus, with an argument to be first? Pinch me. I'm getting all choky here. I didn't expect this. I made some notes, and now I can't find them. Where was I? Oh, I told myself I wouldn't cry. Now, tears streaming. OVER THE MOON! THAT'S WHERE I AM! Where do I start? Fourth? Do you know how many teams out there would give their left billiard to rank fourth? And that's us! Fourth. Right after third. 

Take a bow, Mr. Cashman - and Mr. Hal, and Mr. Randy, and Mr. Boone, and all the interns, secretaries, wonks and A.I. algorithms that have accomplished this magnificent feat! Pass the word, people: The Yankees are back! And to our amigos in the far south... Numero quatro, baby!    

Says the Power Rankings: The Yankees - with Cam Schlittler, Luis Gil, Will Warren, Gerrit Cole, Max Fried, Carlos Rodon and the handful of young arms who will rise up from the farm system - they're always "growing" prospects; that's why it's called a "farm" system - "might" have the best rotation in baseball!

Wow! Excuse me. Gotta catch my breath. This is wild. This is Sydney Sweeney Level, in-fucking-credible, Big News, with a capital B.N. The Yankees might have the best rotation in baseball! Who knew? Of course, there are concerns. There are always concerns, and we're not afraid to mention them. Anthony Volpe had an "off" year. Ryan McMahon didn't hit that well. And the bullpen, which - yes, it would be the first to tell you that it had problems - but, hey! FOURTH!

Those booms you're hearing? That's me, popping the buttons on my britches! They're flying off with newfound Yankee pride! 

The Yankees are back, everybody! Fourth! 

And soon, after some Cashman trades, I think I'm smelling THIRD! 

It's over. The 2025 season. It's finally over. Let it go.

Congratulations, and f**k you, Dodgers.

As for Toronto? Welcome to Purgatory. 

Enjoy reliving this the rest of your lives.

The "Stuck Ball"

 For those of you who enjoy pure baseball( obviously that excludes Yankee fans ), last night's game 6 was historic. 

The game was tight  and runs were hard to come by.  The Dodgers scored three runs on four hits. pretty much all in one early inning (4th?).  Toronto had one run because Dodger pitcher Yamamoto was again brilliant. 

But he ran out of fuel after 6 innings of 1 run ball.  Toronto bats awakened.

With a runner on first, a Toronto dude laced a shot to deep left center... a certain double but, given the batter's speed, a likely triple.  Which meant the score would be 3-2 with a runner on third and no outs. 

But the ball ( much like the one pictured above )  lodged itself between the bottom of the left field wall and the turf.  Unmoving and stuck like chewing gum under a desk.  While Toronto teammates kept waving the runners home, the Dodger players froze and waved their hands in the air.  

Finally, an umpire held up two fingers and the " stuck ball" was ruled a ground rule double.  Just of note, it had never happened before.  This is not like a ball lost in the ivy in  Chicago, or a rebound off the roof in the old Tampa Bay Ray stadium.  

Never before, as in not once. I don't think anyone thought it possible.

In any event, Toronto had to return their runners to second and third ( still no outs ) and from there the gods dinged them badly.  And infield pop up, and then a sinking liner to left that the Toronto baserunner on second ( the hitter of the stuck ball ) misread, and which became a quick, game ending DP. 

Wow.  But you had to stay up late on the east coast. 

Watch game seven if you want to see real baseball. 

Sorry, everybody. I failed you.

 

Turns out that Aaron Boone was right under my nose, hiding in plain sight, and I did nothing. NOTHING. 

I could have talked with him. I might have been able to straighten things out. A piece of my mind...

But I did nothing. NOTHING. 

New York Yankees manager Aaron Boone was in attendance for Syracuse’s football game against North Carolina on Friday night in the JMA Wireless Dome. Boone was spotted after dining at a steakhouse in downtown Syracuse earlier in the week. Boone, who slipped on a Tar Heels hat while taking in the game from a lower-level end zone seat, has been popping up at North Carolina football games throughout the fall.

After tonight, the annual Cashman makeover begins anew

After tonight, we'll close the book on the torture chamber known as 2025. 

The exploding bullpen. Three LH catchers. The rise of Grisham. The fall of Volpe. The voice of the Yankees, David Sims. Another great - but wasted? - season for Aaron Judge. Another lost year for The Martian... 

We could go on. Let's not. Life is too short. That's Chinatown, Jake. That's baseball, Suzyn.

After tonight, it's the season of whatabouts. 

Whatabout Jazz? Whatabout Stanton? Whatabout Cole, Trump's ballroom, Katy Perry, the oceanic UAPs, the looming storms... whataboutchermama? 

After tonight, baseball belongs to the Dodgers' checkbook or Canadian pride. 

After tonight, the looming question of NYC becomes whether Trump will invade or just cut the food supplies - where's Snake Plisken? - if Mamdani, a Mets fan, wins.  

After tonight, we return to the sad, tiresome continuum of watching Brian Cashman remake the roster, via an algorithm. 

After tonight No... wait... today... it's November, the month of bacon fat skies and cold rain. Never does opening day feel farther away.

To celebrate Halloween, 10 great baseball nicknames that should have been for serial killers

 

(Originally run May 23, 2008)

Dr. K
Mr. October
The Barber
Captain Hook
The Vacuum Cleaner
Bonehead
Three Fingers
Nails
The Mad Hungarian
Blue Moon
The Yankee Clipper
No Neck

AN IIHIIFIIC HALLOWEEN WISH . . . .

 

REPEATEDLY TRICKED

AND

RARELY TREATED

THE

JOKES ON US

SO

OFTEN CHEATED

THE

IMP MUST GO

HE

MUST BE UNSEATED

.

.

.

BOØOØOØOØOØOØO !

After 20 years, Yanks/YES are cutting John Flaherty from the Booth of Sooth.

This week, Yankee/YES announcer John Flaherty got a pink slip and - perhaps - a new lease on life. 

After 20 years of lip-service within the Yankee/YES propaganda factory, Flaherty will go silent in 2026. His contract ran out, and the franchise will go with the younger Ryan Ruocco as utility back-up - sorta the Oswaldo Cabrera of the booth. 

The 2026 YES lineup will feature the Four Horsemen of the Pocked Lips: 

1. Michael Kay, the relentless, ever-churning, fake-outrage, word machine. 

2. Paul O'Neill, the jolly ex-jock and lover of the team.

3. David Coen, the celebrity everyman, who actually remembers the Violent Femmes.

4. Joe Girardi, the professor and master strategist.

Overall, the YES announcers are affable, experienced and always appreciative of the Steinbrenner family for paying them to talk. 

In retiring Flaherty, it's not as if the Yankees just disappeared Alexie Navalny. "Flash," as he was known, provided a kindly, self-depreciating voice of experience, similar to that of Ken Singleton, (who was retired in 2021.) Flaherty was a rarity - the ex-jock who mastered the art of play-by-play announcing - which in the modern Yankee era includes the art of gushing about a product that viewers have become increasingly sour of. 

The YES team will sternly criticize any player who fails to hustle, and it will directly challenge any backfiring move by manager Aaron Boone. But that's where the vinegar stops. Whatever Brian Cashman says or does is considered the final word on any matter. And the team verbally genuflects in the direction of anybody with the last name of Steinbrenner. 

That won't change. YES is the OAN of baseball. The Steinbrenners own the main media that covers them, and we will never again know a Red Barber or Joe Garigiola - (or even a John Sterling sometimes) - anybody with the clout to say what needs to be said. The closest we'll get - Jack Curry - is 15 years out from his days of actual journalism. Now and then, Kay climbs his soapbox to grandstand on an issue - but it's always safe, and it never touches the owner's box.    

I'll miss Flaherty. Over 20 years, he never disgraced himself, or for that matter, the Yankees. A 20-year run is longer than most announcers ever see. Dunno who will catch  the Old Timers Game, but since Mariano blew out his knee this summer, I doubt anybody cares. 

As for Flash, his reaction was the sorta classy nothing-burger you'd expect. He told The Athletic: 

“I was kind of prepared for it so I think that helped. It quickly went from, the reality that you are not going to be back to what a great run for 20 years to go right from retiring as a player to right into the booth in 2006 and stay with the same network for 20 years. I just became very grateful for what a long and great run it has been at YES and being connected with the Yankees all those years.”

Let's wish him the best. And maybe, next August, when everything is dull and tired... they bring him back for a series? 

Before the Yankees think of signing anybody, one question looms: What about The Martian?

Today's Athletic conjures up a thumb-sucker that argues the Yankees this winter should chase free agent OF Kyle Tucker, first and foremost, at the expense of Cory Bellinger, son of Clay. 

The article harkens back to the gilded era of Old George, when Trump was a harpy and the Bombers always signed their main free agent target. The modern reality: In modern bidding wars, the Yankees finish second. 

Still, the piece makes some points. The stats generally favor Tucker over Bellinger, and - at 28 - he's two years younger. Over a long-term deal, that could save us from a LeMahieu Redux. (And, by the way, isn't it sad that we remember DJ in such a manner?) 

Still, looming over any OF decision is a simpler question: 

Wither goeth Jasson Dominguez?

The Martian turns 23 in February. Last year, in 381 ABs, he hit .257 with 10 HRs and 23 SBs. (A nice surprise, he is really fast.) Unfortunately, he played left field like a sheet metal worker with a Peyronie's erection, so awkwardly that every pop fly became a terrorist plot. He looked so troubled, so worrisome, that it became reasonable, if not fashionable, to wonder if Dominguez is a Ron Bloomberg - a botched asset and career DH?

It's been eight years since he became the most expensive 16-year-old on the planet, so blessed with potential that he was nicknamed after a planet. 

In the next two months, the Yankees must decide whether The Martian has a future in the Bronx. 

Listen: His numbers for last year weren't puke-in-the-bucket horrible. (You want horrible: Anthony Volpe.) And Dominguez can spend the winter replaying his last plate appearance - a double to right center, as he pinch hit for the clinically depressed Volpe. But here's the rub:

Tucker is a corner outfielder. So is Aaron Judge. If they do sign Tucker, the Yankees would probably need a defense-first CF - (I believe Trent Grisham is gone to greener pastures) - and that's not Dominguez. It could be Bellinger, who can play CF. But what about The Martian? Do they sit on him for another year? Or do they trade their most hyped prospect for the 2020s? 

(At this point, we should mention Spencer Jones, the 24-year-old, 6'7" outfielder at Scranton. He looks like the Second Coming of Joey Gallo - the three true outcomes, most of which are Ks. Last year, at Double and Triple A, Jones hit .274 with 35 HRs. He led all Yankee farmhands in HRs. A hot spring would create havoc. The Yankees claim Jones is a fine fielding CF. Then again, they said Dominguez could play LF. We won't know until we see him.)

So, before anything happens, the Yankees must decide if The Martian is in their future. 

Should we have confidence in those who will make that decision? 

Yank fans love their captain, but the days for arguing he's better than Ohtani are over.

Little known factoid: When you pledge allegiance to the Yankees, you take a secret, sacred vow to argue to your death that Aaron Judge is the game's greatest player. 

Better than Vlad Jr. More valuable than Raleigh. Far superior to Juan Soso. The Best. By... um... far... (cough)... and don't get me wrong... (cough)... he's best... aside from... um, (cough)... maybe that other guy... 

Ohtani.

Sorry, folks. Fell on my sword. The haunted month of October has robbed my git-go, stolen the starch from the piss of my vinegar over any upcoming rants on the game's No. 1 slugger, its top hitter, its greatest star, its Hummungus, its Kahuna... its, um...  Babe.  

What Shohei Ohtani has done in the last two weeks has overwhelmed a quietly great month for Judge, who hit .500 in seven games, while his teammates melted into bongwater nothingness. In seven games, Judge hit one HR and drove in a seven runs. Meh. It wasn't his fault that the Yankees went knock-kneed. Nobody protected him. Bullpens pitched around him and paid no price. And I'll fight anybody who claims Vlad Jr. belongs in an MVP discussion. 

Among the game's premier hitters, here are the Triple Crown numbers for 2025.

Aaron Judge  53 119 .331* 
Shohei Ohtani 55 102 .282
Cal Raleigh 60* 125 .247
Vladimir Guerrero 23 84 .292
Kyle Schwarber 56 132*.240
Pete Alonso 38 126 .272 
George Springer 32 84 .309
Eugenio Suarez 49 18 .228

Listen: Judge had the best season. Period. (Though let's steal ourselves for Raleigh to win the AL MVP.) But MLB assumes the ridiculous notion that postseasons should not affect annual awards. That's like saying, "Sorry about that, Mrs. Kennedy, but how'd you like the view of Dealey Plaza?" Seriously, who can ignore the last three weeks? 

And in them, Ohtani has been otherworldly. (He should have been named the Martian.)  He has 8 HRs in 14 games, plus several quality pitching starts. When he steps up to the plate, you see the confidence. He KNOWS what he's done. Three HRs, while pitching, arguably the greatest single game in history. Nine times on base in an 18 inning game. I'm sorry, folks. The debates are over. 

Throughout this coming winter, one player will be regularly feted as the greatest of his generation. It won't be fair. But it won't be Judge. 

An Above Average Special Edition Post–Season–World Series–Limeric-Ku Tuesday Thingy

 There once was a, uh

Like, you know, oh, well FØCK IT!

Nothing to see there

So lets, uh, be of good cheer

And Pray for . . . Next Year

Dear Redsock fans: Enjoy watching Mookie Betts? He will enter the Hall in a Dodgers cap.

CLASSIFIED MEMO (FOR BOSTONIAN EYES ONLY)
To: Fenway Nation
From: Yankiverse
Re: Mookie  

Last night, - in a game I suspect you didn't watch, in a world series I suspect you haven't followed - a 5'10" fellow named Markus Betts - aka "Mookie" - went 1-for-8 with a walk and strikeout. Not a great night, as nights go. On the postseason, he's hitting .250, batting behind Shohei Ohtani and anchoring the Dodgers infield, playing shortstop. He sorta serves as the Dodgers' manic pixie dream girl, except, of course, that he is a guy.

Why am I telling you this? Honestly, I dunno. Remember that creepy villain in the 1979 movie, THE WARRIORS, where a handful of NYC street-bangers must fight their way home to Coney Island? And when they finally catch the bad guy, and they ask why he killed Cyrus, the respected gang leader, his response is, "REASON? NO-O REASON."

Yeahp, that sums it up. No-o reason. I just woke up this morning and thought, "Maybe the fine people of The Hub are wondering whatever happened to that guy, Mookie Somethingorother, and I should let them know." Aside from that, no reason.

Anyway... when the world series concludes - two games from now, I suspect - Mookie Betts will likely receive his third world series ring, including one that came with you folks, back in Boston,  back in 2018. A lifetime ago.

Mookie has played 12 years in the Majors - six with Boston and six with LA.  He has one MVP award, six Gold Gloves, seven Silver Sluggers and a batting title. He's 33 and nearing the middle of a 12-year contract, which he signed with the Dodgers in 2020. That year, Boston traded him to LA (with pitcher David Price) for Alex Verdugo, Jeter Downs and Connor "What Can Go" Wong. 

So, what's my point? No reason. I just wanted you to know that, now and then, we Yank fans think of you and - yes, this is crazy, but it's true - we smile.

Yeahp. Back in 2020, if your owner had simply coughed up some dough, done the right thing - the smart thing - and kept Mookie Betts, you would not be - like us - sitting at home, watching Tracker.  Your shortstop would not be Trevor Story. And from there, who knows? Maybe no Mickey Gasper, no Franchy Cordero, not even a Bobby Dalbec. Who knows? You might have kept Kiki Hernandez and Kyle Schwarber. Anything is possible, in your dreams.

And on that note, let me lead the chorus: 

(Clang-clang, clang-clang) 

REDSOCK FANNNS, COME OUT AND PLAY-YAYYYYY!