cf Trent Grisham
rf Aaron Judge
1b Ben Rice
dh Giancarlo Stanton
2b Jazz Chisholm
lf Jasson Dominguez
c Austin Wells
ss Jose Cabalero
3b Ryan McMahon
Are you as excited as I am!?
Team Sushi will probably add to its stable of young Japanese stars, shelling out a meager $160 million - table scraps compared to the Soto/Musk/Trump/Putin Scale of Obscene Wealth.
Munetaka Murakami - (Fun fact: His nickname "Murakami-sama" (feats of the Gods) was Japan's word of the year in 2022) - is a 25-year-old LH slugging corner infielder, said to be shaky at 3B and to strike out too often, who will probably land at 1B, which makes him a lousy a fit for the Dodgers, but they'll sign him anyway (unless Stevie Cohen jetisons Pete Alonso and joins the bidding. Let's hope.)
In another time, in another Yankiverse, the mighty Bronx Bombers would point to the RF porch and let nothing interfere with their pursuit of Murakami. Remember how it was? Didn't matter if the guy didn't fit. A lefty slugger, fresh on the market - he was ours. Sign first, figure out later. The Yankees ruled baseball through summer and winter, and the brightest stars wanted to play in New York. Tommy John, who played everywhere, once said that every great player needed to experience a season as a NY Yankee.
Yep, those were the days. They're gone. Not coming back.
Case in point: Is not Kyle Schwarber the absolute reincarnation of Jason Giambi, a giant DH who plays in the field? Giambi took number 25 on the Yankees because the numbers added up to seven - for Mickey Mantle, his dad's favorite player. Schwarber is a free agent, and throughout the impending auction, you won't hear a girlish peep from the Yankees. He'll probably re-sign with Philadelphia, unless the Dodgers get him, along with Murakami, because - why not? Or maybe Stevie Cohen will sign them both.
Either way, the Yankees will be what they've been throughout this millennium: a recurring afterthought. Every October, they become the Party Animals, the team that plays second tier to the Savannah Bananas.
But this is supposed to be about Murakami, a man nicknamed for Godlike events. He'd make a fine additition to a lineup with a guy named for a planet. In the old days, it wouldn't even matter if Murakami turned out to be a dud. Old George would get his rocks off just criticising the guy. But now, we all know Murakami will not be a Yankee. The reasons:
1. We have Ben Rice at 1B.
2. We have Ryan McMahon at 3B.
3. We don't need another 150 strikeouts per season.
As ABOVE AVERAGE points out below, Hal just won't spend the money. Case closed. He still remembers his dad signing Reggie for $3.5 million (over five years), and he wonders why he should spend more? Hal is 55. He's healthy. Still has his hair. He's not firing anybody. He's not throwing things. He's in Tampa. He surely owns a yacht. He's 10 years away from moving to The Villages, where maybe he'll catch the clap and get sick. He's not stressing out. He's not going anywhere.
And neither is his team.
Grish has until Nov. 22 to decide whether to accept or decline. If he says yes, the Yankee outfield will stabilize - maybe to the point of being clogged.
If Grisham takes the $22 million, one-year hookup, it lessens the likelihood of the Yankees signing either Kyle Tucker or Cody Bellinger, the two biggest free agent outfielders on the market. Owner Hal Steinbrenner - currently wondering if his SNAP benefits will return before Thanksgiving - won't want to shell out all his movie money on the outfield, especially when the bullpen and shortstop slots feature gaping holes.
Of course, Grish could say no. He's coming off a career year - by far - and he's still shy of 30. He might prompt a bidding war. Or maybe not. Sometimes, guys like him end up on March 15 without a stool in the bar or a place in the sun. Remember those years when he hit south of Mendoza? So do the GMs.
If the Yankees coax one more year out of Grisham, they will have effectively squeezed the juice from the cactus. And if he can pull off a solid follow-up season, he should be still young enough to win his dream contract next winter - (though baseball will be shutting down by then, so who knows how the market will look.)
The Yankees might be better off leaving left field to The Martian and/or Spencer Jones. And no law says Hal can't pony up the cash to sign Tucker or Bellinger; it's just his track record of finishing second in bidding wars, that's all.
If Grisham leaves, the Yankees will most likely receive a piddling fourth round draft pick, because of their bloated payroll. It's sad. They are hardly MLB's Apex Predator - (that's the Dodgers) - or even NYC's (the Mets.) But a draft pick is a draft pick, right? It can be Aaron Judge. It can be Andrew Brackman.
And by signaling their willingness to stick with Grisham, they're lessening the likelihood of a massive restructuring of the Yankee roster. They went to the mat this year against Toronto, missed by one stinking game. Apparently, they figure by standing pat, they'll contend again next fall, and - really - that's the objective, as the Canadians say, eh?
Eleven measly minutes - 660 seconds - before the Yankeapocaylpse.
That happens at exactly 5 p.m., the deadline for Food Stamps Hal Steinbrenner to rule on a matter that will reverberate throughout 2026... and beyond.
By Happy Hour, our pennywise owner must decide whether the Yankees will extend a $22 million, one-year qualifying offer to CF Trent Grisham, who hit 34 HRs last season. It's no slam dunk. While Grisham last year was third on the team (behind Judge and Giancarlo) in On Base Percentage, he is a) pushing 30, b) a career .218 hitter, and c) he fell apart - 4 for 29, without a HR or RBI - in the recent postseason.
Right now, nobody knows what Hal or Grish are thinking.
If Hal extends the qualifying offer:
1. Grisham could say yes. He'd receive $22 million next year, a chunk of money that would burn in Hal's fanny pack. It would leave the Yankees with an outfield surplus that, unless trades happen, will undercut their ability to sign either Kyle Tucker and/or Cody Bellinger, both of whom are viewed as priorities. If the Yankees bring back Grisham, it's easy to imagine Hal doing what he does best: finishing second in the bids for Tucker or Bellinger.
2. Grisham could say no. Good grief, he just had his breakout year. This should be his big, career, free agency payout. He wants a three-year deal, maybe five. If he rejects the offer, the Yankees might receive a compensatory draft pick (it depends on what else they do), and there could be draft-related strings attached to the team that signs him. Sometimes, those strings can really fuck up a player, especially one who is looking for his big, career payout. Ask Alex Bregman.
If Hal says no qualifying offer...
The Yankees flush the toilet, giggle the handle and turn out the lights. Grishman hits free agency free and clear, no strings, and the Yankees look for somebody - a burner who can play CF. Do they think Spencer Jones is real? Can The Martian, who certainly has the speed, improve defensively? Jazz Chisholm? Or would they find themselves pondering, gulp, Harrison Bader 2.0?
So, the Yankees could end up with Grisham, Mr. Cool, back in center, hoping last year was no fluke. Or they could face a clogged outfield into next November, when most people expect MLB to abruptly halt, due to a labor stoppage. There might be no baseball in 2027. (The Dodgers' dynasty ending at three?)
So what happens today, as you're lifting the cold one, could influence how we remember the Yankees for a long, long tme.
(You know who you are...)
It's now 11 months since the House of Steinbrenner came to view the Yankee ban on facial hair - a rule dating back to the glorious Afro of Oscar Gamble and the Emmet Kelly chin of Thurman Munson - like an unsolicited backrub from Andrew Cuomo. It happened shortly after the Yankees acquired Devin Williams, the team's new closer, whose shaggy jowls were widely viewed as the reason for the change.
I donno if you changed your policies simply to appease one player - I cannot see into your Neville Chamberlain mind - but, damn, it sure looked that way.
Over the 2025 season, only a few Yankees - most notably Carlos Rodon and Jasson Dominguez, along with Williams - grew modest, sickly beards. I think this is because the Yankee Captain, Aaron Judge, remained clean shaven.
Well, it's time to declare 2025 as a failed experiment in Yankee lore.
Ditch the soup-strainers and the birds' nests, drop the floppy follicles and misery mullets, and let's make the Yankees, once again, different from all the rest.
This is weird for me. I never thought I'd be saying this, having for many years viewed the beard ban as:
a) stupid
b) a waste of time
c) an arguable attack on self-expression
d) a reason some players might refuse to join the Yankees.
In the aftermath of Williams, I no longer hate the ban.
In fact, if it makes the Yankees slightly different, so be it.
Better to be different than irrelevant.
If a player doesn't want to play for the fucking New York Yankees because of his precious chin weave, he's not the guy we want.
Restore the beard ban, Mr. Hal! You once claimed to keep it out of the memory of your dad, who sought a warrior ethos for the Yankees. You shouldn't have changed.
I say, let's go back. If it means Kyle Tucker won't sign with the Yankees - he doesn't want to shave? - well, he's not the guy we want.
That was Clay Bellinger's kid, Cody, officially bolting for the door.
Yesterday, Bellinger ditched his $25 million one-year Yankee option, heading for the Corona Beer tent of free agency. He even deleted his Yankee profile on Instagram. He's like Rosamund Pike in that Ben Affleck movie - a Gone Girl Guy. Off to try the free market of capitalism, while the Yankees try to avoid charges of criminal malpractice.
On behalf of the Yankiverse, I wish Bellinger luck, health and bricks of gold. I sorta hoped the Yankees could frontload a three-year deal - like Shohei Ohtani's magically deferred payments with the Dodgers - and make him the Yankee CF, at least until Spencer Jones proves relevant.
That's a pipe dream, of course. I doubt Bellinger can cover - from April to October - the area code that is Yankee Stadium centerfield. Everybody likes Belli, but is there a path for him to anchor a championship Yankee team?
This winter, I believe the Yankees must do three things:
1. They must decide on their two biggest prospects - The Martian and Spencer Jones. Both might suck; that's baseball, Suzyn. Every year, some rising team wins the World Series by beating a tired Yankee roster of 30-somethings. Jasson Dominguez is 22. Jones is 24. Each needs a shot. And if the Yankees bring back Belli (and to a less likely chance, Trent Grisham), there will be no openings. Another tired old team, good enough for a wild card.
2. They need pitching, pitching, pitching. They cannot depend on anybody. Every spring, they show up touting their rotational depth, and then watch several key arms go down. Right now, they have Max Fried, Will Warren, Cam Schlittler and Luis Gil. After that, Carlos Rodon is hurt; Gerrit Cole won't be back until June, Clarke Schmidt might not be back at all, and the farm is threadbare. The Yankees must sign a major starter, maybe two, maybe three. Last year, the Dodgers went through stretches with an Injury List all-star rotation. They just planned for October, and it worked.
3. They need Gold Glove defense up the middle. The final teams this October fielded defensive burners in CF. The Yankees had Grisham - solid, but not great. There is a notion that Bellinger can play CF, or maybe Jazz Chisholm. I doubt either would last the season. The Yankees need someone who can fly. That would require Jones to prove his news clippings are true, and/or Dominguez to make great strides. (He's got the wheels; he needs to put in the work.) Same goes for SS, but we've wasted enough ink on that black hole.
It's rare for a player's professionalism and character to impress the Yankees as much as Bellinger did last season - and then to watch him depart. Six years ago, they invested in DJ LeMahieu for just that reason. It backfired. Last winter, they watched the human loyalty-sinkhole, Juan Soto, follow the cash and never look back.
The days of great players wanting to play for the Yankees are over. If anything, a ring-hungry veteran will want to go to the Dodgers, or maybe even Toronto. The Yankees are just another team that feels the whoosh, and wonders who just went out the door?
Come on, Brain! This is our kind of guy!
(What do you say to a drunken sailor early in the morning?)
The Yankees - winners of 27 world championships, including as recently as 2009! - look to be almost unstoppable in 2026, according to the latest ESPN Power Rankings!
Not only that, but in today's internet write-up, the Power Rankers say - get this, critics and nonbelievers: "There is an argument to rank the Yankees first, overall!"
Wow! And I mean this, sincerely: Holy crap! Plus, with an argument to be first? Pinch me. I'm getting all choky here. I didn't expect this. I made some notes, and now I can't find them. Where was I? Oh, I told myself I wouldn't cry. Now, tears streaming. OVER THE MOON! THAT'S WHERE I AM! Where do I start? Fourth? Do you know how many teams out there would give their left billiard to rank fourth? And that's us! Fourth. Right after third.
Take a bow, Mr. Cashman - and Mr. Hal, and Mr. Randy, and Mr. Boone, and all the interns, secretaries, wonks and A.I. algorithms that have accomplished this magnificent feat! Pass the word, people: The Yankees are back! And to our amigos in the far south... Numero quatro, baby!
Says the Power Rankings: The Yankees - with Cam Schlittler, Luis Gil, Will Warren, Gerrit Cole, Max Fried, Carlos Rodon and the handful of young arms who will rise up from the farm system - they're always "growing" prospects; that's why it's called a "farm" system - "might" have the best rotation in baseball!
Wow! Excuse me. Gotta catch my breath. This is wild. This is Sydney Sweeney Level, in-fucking-credible, Big News, with a capital B.N. The Yankees might have the best rotation in baseball! Who knew? Of course, there are concerns. There are always concerns, and we're not afraid to mention them. Anthony Volpe had an "off" year. Ryan McMahon didn't hit that well. And the bullpen, which - yes, it would be the first to tell you that it had problems - but, hey! FOURTH!
Those booms you're hearing? That's me, popping the buttons on my britches! They're flying off with newfound Yankee pride!
The Yankees are back, everybody! Fourth!
And soon, after some Cashman trades, I think I'm smelling THIRD!
As for Toronto? Welcome to Purgatory.
Enjoy reliving this the rest of your lives.
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