Friday, January 21, 2011

Yankeetorial: All this jibber-jabber about Cashman overlooks the central point: He is NOT the Voice of the Yankees

This week, the Yankiverse waited baited-breathlessly to hear Brian Cashman explain why he was for the Rafael Soriano signing before he was against it. The world stood still, analyzing each of Cashman's words like stool samples from the Bulgarian women's weightlifting team.

This would be fine, except that we are disregarding the opinion of the Man who happens to be the solitary human vocalizing communcations embodiment of the New York Yankees.


Was he in favor of signing Rafael Soriano? How does he feel about Andruw Jones?

My friends, those are the only questions of this cold, ungamely day. And all we can do is ponder what he feels -- we cannot predict John Sterling; nobody can predict John Sterling.

POSSIBLE REASONS WHY STERLING WILL LIKE RAFAEL SORIANO

1. Melodic name: Ra-fay-allll Soriano!
2. More optimism during Little Debbie snack-cake 7th inning scoreboard.
3. Tag line: Who's Sori Now!
4. Soriano rhymes with Mariano.
5. Touched by Soriano's willingness to become set-up man to Mo.


POSSIBLE REASONS WHY STERLING WILL NOT LIKE ANDRUW JONES
1. Dull-sounding name.
2. If he's in, a Sterl fave -- Grandy, Swishalicious, Gardy -- is out.
3. Kept Yanks from signing Johnny Damon.
4. Still resents home runs Jones hit in 1996 World Series
5. Must come up with new HR call.

3 comments:

Michael Booblay said...

Andruw's Sterling call....
Andruw Jones, he's got that homer goin on.

Atlanta Lesbians said...

No,
Jones Boned That One

Jim Jones said...

how about, "that's on its way to Jonestown"