Thursday, October 17, 2013

Yankeetorial: Our nation is hopelessly polarized

The poll to the left illustrates the brutal and unprecedented Civil War currently raging within the Yankiverse.

Fans are fighting fans. Cousins are fighting cousins - yes, identical cousins all the way, one pair of matching bookends, different as night and day. We are a House that Ruth Built*... divided.

Some say everything hinges on the fate of Curtis Granderson. (Those people are fools, idiots... KILL THEM!)  Still, the Grandyman's fate might reflect the future direction of this franchise.

If he stays, we could contend for that exciting, one game Wild Card event -- the one that, after last July 15, basically became our soul reason to follow the team.

If he goes to Chicago, well, we get a draft pick and a chance to spend next summer with Zolio Almonte, plus weekly scavenger hunts led by Brian Cashman, as we look for hope in 2015.

Let me confess something:  Goddamm, if I know what to think. Too many shoes must drop. It's like were in a D&D game with drunk nerds, holding 12-sided dice. We can't do anything until we know if A-Rod will return. We can't do anything until we know if Cano will come back. We can't do anything until Grandyman makes up his mind.

Jeez, Louise - we've even lost the ability to decide what we want. Right now, our future rests in the hands of Grandyman, Robbie, that Japanese pitcher and A-Rod's arbitrator. Weird, eh? Remember when it was all up to George? Well, those days are gone. Anybody who thinks different: KILL THEM. There's nothing civil about Civil War.

*Actually, a four-year-old facsimile of the House that Ruth Built.


JM said...

As the Hessian said on Sleepy Hollow when his victim said 'Go to Hell,' 'In due time, Hell will be coming to us.'

Is it hot in here, or is it me?

KD said...

Let's turn the tables and become a team that let's the old guys go as they decline rather than hire them and suffer the fall. Let him hit 28 home runs and bat .220 with >200 strike outs for somebody else. Maybe he can join swish in Cleveland.