Thursday, November 30, 2017

10 questions for Ohtani to ask teams before he decides

1. Does your radio voice do personalized home run calls? What will be my personalized home run call? Wait...did you say he DOESN'T do personalized home run calls? Then why are you wasting my time?

2. What's your radio voice's longest known WinWarble? What... your announcer DOESN'T do WinWarbles? 

3. When I come up, what will be my slug line for the Benihaha Steak House commercial? 

4. Considering your franchise's history, what are the chances that I'll be able to share in a 28th world championship? 

5. Can you guarantee that I can hit between guys who should hit 30 home runs?

6. How can I avoid having to pitch to Aaron Judge in big games?

7. What are the chances of me being someday enshrined in your center field monument area? Wait... you DO have a center field monument area, right?

8. If I join your team, can I meet A-Rod and Jennifer Lopez?

9. If we win the World Series, the ticker tape parade will be along the Canyon of Heroes, right? No? You're saying it'll be the I-30 bypass?

10. Does your radio voice believe in predicting baseball? Because I personally don't think you can.

5 comments:

KD said...

The Master, days without a contract: 40

13bit said...

Is that true, KD? Are they going to put him out to pasture, send him to the glue factory, ship him to that big broadcast booth upstate? WFT?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Brilliant stuff, Duque! Just brilliant!

Anonymous said...

SIGN THE MASTER!

NOW!!!

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