Friday, May 22, 2020

Virtual Baseball: Another Day, Another Catcher: Yanks Lose Again, On Road Trip to Hell. New Receiver Dodges Questions.

The Yankees set a new virtual baseball record in their getaway game in Milwaukee today, playing their seventh catcher in the young season.  Donnie Sands, only a Tampa Tarpon prior to this season did not disappoint, hitting a long home run on the very first pitch he saw in the major leagues. But the Yankees flopped about like a harpooned tarpon, dropping a 4-3 decision to the Team Formerly Known as Harvey's Wallbangers.

The game also saw the debut of yet another pitcher, Clarke Schmidt, one of the very few first-round Yankees draft picks ever to make it into a major-league stadium without a ticket.  Schmidt pitched well enough, surrendering only four hits in five innings, but also walking five and giving up two, two-run singles by former Yankee Ben "Camel" Gamel.

Afterwards, Sands was repeatedly grilled by reporters as to whether or not he was related to highly rated, 1960s Yankees catcher Charlie Sands, who was later part of the Thomas Frondorf trade.

Q: Are you related to Charlie Sands?

A: Who?

Q: Don't play coy with us.  Charlie.  Sands.

A: I'm sorry, I—

Q: Was Charlie Sands your father?

A: Huh?

Q: You know what your father's name is, don't you?

A: Sure, but—

Q: Was it Charlie?

A: No.  Look—

Q: Was your grandfather's name Charlie?

A: No.

Q: Your uncle's?

A: No.

Q: How about your perfume?

A: Wait.  Is that a trick question?

Q: So, you're a catcher.

A: That's right.

Q: And your name is Sands?

A: Uh-huh.

Q: And you're saying you're not related to another catcher named Sands, who played for the same team 53 years ago?

A: No!  Look, isn't anyone going to ask about my home run?  The first pitch!

Q: We'll ask the questions here, kid.  I suppose you're going to tell us that's just a big coincidence?

A: I guess.

Q: And that you've never heard of Thomas Frondorf?  Or Dave Kent?

A: No!


More than coincidence?









Charlie Sands, Donnie Sands.  Donnie, Charlie.  YOU be the judge!







4 comments:

el duque said...

He's actually the son of Frank Tepedino.

13bit said...

My sister...my daughter....my sister....my daughter...he’s my sister AND my daughter...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hilarious, Bitty!

And Duque—straight out of my 1967 Yankees Yearbook, first one I ever had! A page on how Frank Tepedino and Charlie Sands were going to have to stay on the roster and not play all year.

For years, I thought that was the old "bonus baby" rule, a truly stupid idea in its own self. But no, they were "Rule 5" picks.

Really? The Yanks thought that Frank Tepedino (Brooklyn's own) and Charlie Sands were such can't-miss guys that TWO roster spots needed to be devoted to them?

You look at their minor-league stats, and there's not an iota of greatness evident.

Tepedino was a pretty good singles hitter with no power and only so-so speed, a first baseman-corner outfielder who did not play either position particularly well. Sand was a good-field, no-hit catcher...who couldn't really field that well, either.

The secret? Both came from the Baltimore organization, as did our new GM at the time, Lee MacPhail, future president of the American League, son of Larry MacPhail.

Remember how often we were told that Lee MacPhail was a great baseball man with great baseball bloodlines? Yeah.

Larry MacPhail was a nasty drunk, a teller of many tall tales, and such a baseball genius that he once tried to trade Joe DiMaggio for Mickey Vernon.

After serving in the Yankees' organization, Lee was supposed to have built the Orioles' team, although judging by how the Orioles didn't exactly fall apart after he left, I suspect that it wasn't just him.

All those terrible draft picks, passing over the likes of Johnny Bench. But hey: we kept Frank Tepedino and Charlie Sands!

Good times.




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