Hey, it's good to be back home again! The New York Yankees returned to their long-lost friend the Bronx and their winning ways tonight, topping Seattle at the Stadium, 12-8.
Stumbling back home after a 2-8 road trip that dropped them into third place at 29-21, 12 games behind the boiling hot Tampa Bay Rays, the Yanks jumped on former "Killer B" Manny Banuelos early and often, with home runs from Gio Urshela and Miguel Andujar.
The best performance of the day was turned in by Thairo "Bulletproof" Estrada, however, who had another superb night at home in New York, going 4-4 with two doubles and a homer, and throwing a runner out at home. Yanks rookie Deivi Garcia, who has had an up and down season so far, threw a credible six innings, surrendering three runs and striking out eight.
Banuelos is the last of the "Killer Bs" currently active. Former would-be star Andrew Brackman is now a professional big-game hunter in East Africa, while ex-Yankee all-star Dellin Betances is currently rehabbing his foot in Florida, with hopes of joining the woebegone New York Mets sometime later this year.
In other Yankees news today, "The Fight for Phil," as the tabloids have dubbed it, continued, with the Yankees reporting some progress in resolving just who owns the rights to the late Phil Rizzuto's random meanderings, the Yankees or a pair of "snowball reprobates" who made a small fortune publishing a book called "O Holy Cow!" back in the 1990s, when life was slow, and oh, so mellow.
"These slack-jawed troglodytes—I think their names are Tomaso Pennybacker and Hartzell Harte, or some such—are trying to deprive Yankees of what they should be able to hear every night: the voice of a long-deceased Yankees shortstop rambling on about lasagna, birthdays, and Steve Balboni," remarked Yankees creature Randy Levine. "But I think we're close to an agreement. They're holding out for another snowblower and some new chains for their tires, I believe."
Tomorrow afternoon will be the Yanks' first promotional game, "Bud Selig Cheesy Toupee Day," in which the first 15,000 fans will be handed a limp piece of oil cloth to put on their heads, in honor of the former permanent acting baseball commissioner and professional funny man.
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3 comments:
So if I understand correctly in the new and revamped virtual stadium every attendee gets a promotional cloth. Now that is a very generous gesture from the front office creatures indeed.
I think Jesus Stanton should go hammer some gospel into those thugs that think they own any rights to Phil's aphorisms. Actually I think these two disgusting figures deserve far worse than that. Maybe some intravenous sanitizer would bring them to their senses (and keep us all a little safer in the process)
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Here in Manhattan, we're all pretty much still sitting at home, waiting for the pandemic to continue its spread through the South and Midwest, where people know it's all a hoax meant to stop Trump from being reelected. The hoax should start killing them in decent numbers as the summer progresses.
Speaking of morons, I saw today that half of the Twitter accounts clamoring for an end to lockdown precautions are actually bots. The Cyrillic lettering should have been a big tip-off before now.
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