Monday, January 23, 2023

The Yankees are dangling Josh Donaldson in trades, as they did last year with Gary Sanchez... which is how they got Donaldson.

According to the Internet, the Yanks are still seeking to trade fan pariahs Josh Donaldson and Aaron Hicks, which is sorta like looking to swap two Chuckys for a M3GAN. Either way, it's gonna get messy. Nobody wants them. In fact, nobody will even pick up the phone unless - wait  - here's a number: 1-877 KARS4KIDS!

It's an acid flashback to last winter, when Brian Cashman was so determined to trade Gary Sanchez to the Twins that he tossed in Gio Urshela. The Yankees celebrated their acumen, and then, over the next eight months, the deal slowly festered into a debacle, as the hapless Donaldson came to symbolize another October collapse. 

So, here's the question: To disappear Donaldson - and his sidekick, Hicks - will the Yankees take on someone with an even more odious contract? 

You betcha they will! 

In fact, that's the play. They'll trade them for Dopey Dildox, who once starred for the Expos, and pencil him in for opening day. Cue the balloon drop! Winter will be over.  

So who is on our list? Glad you asked. Here are the worst contracts in baseball (which makes them the worst contracts ANYWHERE. Keep in mind, Donaldson would be on this list - at $21 million this year, and Giancarlo Stanton is 2nd worst contract of all - $175 million over the next five years. We are bad contract dynamos.)

So, the list of possible future Yankees...

Miguel Cabrera, Tigers: $32 million this year.
Yasmani Grandal, White Sox, $18 million this year.
Joey Votto, Reds, $25 million this year. 
Madison Bumgarner, $37 million, two years.
Yoan Moncada, White Sox, $42 million, two years.
Chris Sale, Redsocks, $57 million, two years.
Patrick Corbin, Nationals, $60 million, two years.
Nick Castellanos, Phillies, $80 million, four years. 
Jose Berrios, Blue Jays $119 million, six years
Kris Bryant, Rockies, $157 million, six years.
Anthony Rendon, Dodgers, $156 million, four years
Stephen Strasburg, Nationalsm $140 million, four years
Christian Yellich, $176 million, seven years.

Last year, we couldn't imagine how any trade of Sanchez could backfire. Addition by subtraction, we told ourselves. Besides, we obtained a starting SS, a 3B and a catcher, whose name I still cannot spell.

Well, be careful what we wish for. We all want Donaldson and Hicks to leave, while we plunder some team's farm system. What's more likely is that they'll plunder ours, as we throw in prospects. 

We know that neither Donaldson nor Hicks might hit their weight in 2023. But here's a thought: It won't take us the year, or the summer, or even the months of April and May - to recognize that they are Donaldson and Hicks, and that they are finished. That might be our best play of all. 

21 comments:

Eddhall69 said...

Dangling? Wouldn't pleading or begging or will give you are top 2 prospects to take him a better scenario?

JM said...

Just send Donaldduckson away. Pay his salary. Give him to somebody in exchange for some cold toast and grits.

Just get him the fuck out of here.

DickAllen said...

But...but...but...

Via the Daily Murdoch, The Intern told us that Hicks is the man:

"I suspect he will be the guy that emerges [in left field] because he is still really talented and everything is there,” Cashman said Sunday on SiriusXM MLB Network Radio. “Hopefully we can get the Aaron Hicks we know is in there back as a consistent player for us.”

We already know everything we need to know about the Aaron Hicks we know.

Mildred Lopez said...


Hicks is a 10/5 player come August 8th. He'll be on the IL by then or maybe battling "tightness" or "a lower body issue" so it's do or die for the Genius.

Nobody's dumb enough to take Jackie Asshole except the Genius, and he already took him. Best we can hope for is old redass on the field in half the games and DHing when Stanton takes his inevitable 4 to 6 week vacation. He's playing, everyone knows that, because a Cashman never admits when he's wrong.

On a lighter note: “If we have any other issues [with Montas’ shoulder], I don’t know what’s next,” Cashman said. /exasperated sigh coupled with eyeroll/

I believe Hicks is fully checked out, sort of an Ellsbury Lite. Poster child for
"Once Promising Player Who Never Lived Up To His Potential". He could have been a contendah but never really was. The fans boo him because he stinks and he knows this but he can't unstink at this point because he's shot. The golf course on the other hand is quiet, relaxing, nobody booing a slice or a missed putt. The golf course calls his name. Golfing doesn't pay though, so he has to show up, jump through the Yankees' hoops, don't blow the contract by murdering anyone or molesting some children, and it will be all over in 3 more years. Keep him or trade him, won't make any difference in the House Of Hicks, his days of caring are behind him. Just pay him.


HoraceClarke66 said...

Pretty funny, DickAllen!

Yeah, I never understand the logic here: 'We don't want to waste all that money by telling this or that incompetent/old/injured player to go away, so instead we'll waste it by having him play everyday and make the team actively worse.'

In what other business model does this work? 'Yeah, old Bill's been embezzling from the company for years, gets drunk at lunch everyday, makes passes at all the women employees (and some of the men), cost us big time on that Acme Munitions deal, and swipes pens from the supply closet whenever he can. But hey, he's got an ironclad contract, so we can't very well just let him sit at home.'



JM said...

Hoss, maybe we should start calling Donaldson "Old Bill."

edb said...

More of Genius Cashman's nonsense. No team wants Done aldson.

Doug K. said...

Some interesting names on that list...

Yoan Moncada, White Sox, $42 million, two years.

Yoan "Slowly I turned" Moncada - poster child for our collective screaming that Hal is cheap. The one that got away. Plays 3B (Wink) hit 12 HRs and batted .212 last year.

2-1-2 Isn't that an area code somewhere? Fate!


Patrick Corbin, Nationals, $60 million, two years.

Here's another guy we were collectively wrong about. Lifetime Yankee fan. Lefty. I particularly was screaming to get him.

6-19 last year. 6.31 ERA

Would donning the pinstripes turn him around? Does it ever?


Christian Yellich, $176 million, seven years

The guy we all thought Cashman should have traded with Miami for instead of getting fleeced and stuck with Stanton.

14 HRs - .252

Plays Left Field! Bats left handed. We could reproduce 2/3 of that powerhouse Marlin OF of 2017.

Former 2X All Star, Former one time Gold Glove. Suspected cheater... Basically has Cashman acquisition written all over him.





brax62 said...

looks like a Ponzi scheme

BTR999 said...

It’s fun to mock and speculate, but the truth is other clubs know at some point the team will simply release both (WHEN is what we should be talking about here.) and they can be had for the pro-rated minimum. There will be no more deals this off-season despite what the Heymans and Kay sneeringly tell us. This is your team, so get ye down to the shopping mall with a baseball field in the middle of it and start quaffing those $15 beers.

AboveAverage said...

When I think "Dangling Donaldson" I'm reminded about how difficult it was this morning for one my dogs to release that last, little clinging turd into the tall, cold, dew covered grass.

Yep.

A Dangling Donaldson . . .



JM said...

We signed Bowman to a minor league contract. Guy hasn't pitched in the bigs since 2019. Our season is saved.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I think I worked with old Bill.

Actually, I think he was one of my old bosses.

JM said...

We're stuck with Old Billyball.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hey, c'mon, JM! Scotty Bowman was truly an outstanding coach and GM at several different stops. Sure, different sport, but I could easily see him replacing Cashman AND Boone.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Doug K., we were wrong about all those players...in the long term. Each one of them would almost surely have won us a championship or two if they'd been on the Yanks in the right seasons, and we'd have much more tolerance for their declines.

If Hicks or Stanton had powered us to a couple World Series wins, would we be on their case? Okay, maybe! That's us! But not as much!

Doug K. said...

Hoss,

I'd still take Moncada over Donaldson but I don't think the White Sox will make that trade what with the "Jackie" thing and all.

You make a good point about getting them earlier...

When Moncada was good (which might have been never) the Sox traded him for Sale and won their WS. We could have used Sale.

BTW, Sale is on El Duque's list

Chris Sale, Redsocks, $57 million, two years.

Corbin help Washington win their WS as well.

I'm not sure early post-Marlin Yelich was that much better than early post-Marlin Giancarlo and certainly not better now. I guess he's better because he plays more.

BTR999 said...

Players are most remembered for what they do in the postseason. Look at Eli: really just a mediocre QB, but had those 2 magical SB runs. Now he’s a borderline HOF candidate. In his heart, Cashman knows that Donaldson and Hicks were grievous mistakes, and there’s is next act for either. I believe both will be in the opening day lineup. Donaldson will fade and ride out the season on the IL. If I squint, I guess I could see a Hicks deal to a very OF needy contender, such as SF, but we’d have to eat nearly all the salary and attach some kind of prospect to help the deal go down. More likely Hicks ends up on the IR long term next to Donaldson, with his release date no earlier than late 2024. Cashman’s ego won’t allow anything better.

Hey Cashman. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you, fool!

Carl J. Weitz said...

El Duque, Hicks won't hit his weight??? (In my best Major Gowan voice) No, NO! I won't have it! Hicks went vegan and has dropped down to 165 lbs.!

Jaraxle said...

Hicks and Donaldson for Yelich. I’d believe he’s more likely to have a bounce back season than those two combined.

Matt P. said...

Rendon is one the "other" LA team, not the Dodgers. When talking teams who love bad contracts, the Angels always say, "Hold my beer". Also, Moreno is backing out of selling. I take it he won't let Ohtani go then, right?