Wednesday, September 6, 2023

Celebrate! The Yankees have reached the incredible summit of .500

Congrats all around to the Comeback Yankees, the dream-destiny-cardiac team of September! This weekend, on Old-Timers Day, we should hire the once-daily Jardiance lady and her backup dancing Klondike Bars to sing about "the little team with the big story to tell!"

If somebody said last spring that these plucky overachievers would be sitting at 69-69, only 7.5 games out of the wild card, wouldn't we have burst into a Starr Insurance acid dance? If we can win, say, 20 of our remaining 24, who knows? 

In case you're wondering, that's sarcasm. That's mean old Mr. Glashaffempty, complaining, even though his team has won four straight, and the YES-verse is trying to drool day-glow plasma over this infusion of youth. So here I am, whining about the divisional standings. We should mount the bandwagon like Cocaine Bear, and post memes about The Martian and Giancarlo's 400th: Why, over these last two memorable weeks, he's hitting a Ruthian .255, raising his seasonal average to .205! 

More sarcasm. Sadly, that's all I got. Aside from rambling about Gerrit Cole and Aaron Judge, hopefulness is a lie. If I find it hard to go all-in on The Martian, it's because we went there full-scale last September with Oswald and Oswaldo. 

Yeah, it's nice to see the kids play. But right now, every tomato can in baseball is flush with Double A upstarts. Yeah, we have an interesting player in Jasson Dominguez, but the biggest parts of his identity remain his nickname and the amount of money they originally bestowed upon him. Three years ago, we were groomed to think of Estevan Florial as The Future. Now, the Yankees won't even return his calls. Sorry, if I can't get excited about the future. It's because I remember the recent past.

Okay. some non-sarcastic remarks:

1. Anthony Rizzo is done. That's probably a mercy-killing, but it leaves everybody with no sense of whether he can return next season, or if he's done done. I sorta thought they'd bring him back for a few swings, hopefully just to assure himself that he still can do it. Nope. 

I don't know what to make of this, except to assume that he's still exhibiting symptoms of his concussion. That's awful. I cannot remember when the Yankees more screwed up on the health of a player. This guy played six weeks with a concussion, and nobody noticed? I know it's not easy. But how does this happen? I guess it's something for Hal's What Went Wrong Winter Investigation Ninjas to probe. I'm sure they'll write a 280-page report.

2. So, correct me if I'm wrong, but Luis Severino is going to have a strong final month, and we will then offer him a contract, right? He's a lifelong Yankee, thick and thin, yatta yatta, and they'll have him back, right? It's like the love letter: Come back, Randy, you didn't fracture my skull, you just broke the orbital. 

In fact, let me state what everybody most fears: Sevy signs with Boston and becomes Nathan Eovaldi. That's because, somehow, the Yankees have become a toxic workplace, which somehow brings out the worst in practically everyone. 

If that's the case, we're in trouble. If that's the case, imagine The Martian's future. Our biggest fear should be that he fails to live up to this ridiculous hype, then is discarded (like Florial), goes to a rival and turns into the player we dreamed of. That is a very real possibility. It is the downside of hype. He's four seasons away from age 25, the age when most players break out. 

A terrifying question: If Dominguez goes through three lousy seasons, will he even be a Yankee by 24? 

3. If the Yankees win, say, four more games in a row, they could cut the Wild Card margin down to five or six. Future generations could look back on this season and think this was actually a decent team. Gerrit Cole might with the Cy Young. Aaron Judge might hit 40 HRs. Two great players in their prime.

It reminds me of the 1984 Yankees, when Don Mattingly and Dave Winfield battled for the batting crown until the final day. Mattingly won. The Yankees finished 17 games out. And it would be 10 years before they made a postseason. The shitty team with a big story to tell...

16 comments:

Mildred Lopez said...


69-69. Nice.

Doug K. said...

My favorite moment from last night's game was when Gleyber drove in the two runs with a double and then got picked off trying to steal third. It perfectly sums him up.

Or as Suzyn said, "Sometimes I think Gleyber thinks he's invisible."

Actually laughed out loud.

TheWinWarblist said...

Gleyber is invisible all too often.

BTR999 said...

The Torres Conundrum.

Leaves of brown they fall to the ground
And it's here, over there leaves around
Shut the door, dim the lights and relax
What is more, your desire or the facts
- Van Morrison

HoraceClarke66 said...

"Sorry if I can't get excited about the future. It's because I remember the recent past."

That's just brilliant, Duque. And all too true.

ranger_lp said...

So as el duque suggested...what happens if the Yankees run the table? Are they a team no one would want to face in a playoff scenario? Makes for a movie on some streaming service...

Yanks are undefeated with The Martian on the roster...

HoraceClarke66 said...

ranger, I suspect in that case they would immediately get swept in the playoffs.

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Hammer of God said...

Last night looked like a loss, until they finally got a blast from Arch Stanton. So, 400 home runs. Now I know why they can't put this guy on waivers. They absolutely must hang on to him until he reaches 500 home runs. In that case, I hope he hits another ten in the next 24 games. And then another 90 next year. I don't care if he strikes out 400 times. Let him swing for the fences on every pitch to reach that milestone 500. Then, as soon as the curtain call is over, put him on waivers. Some team will claim him, and HAL will like it because that team will have to pick up the remainder of the contract.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Could the Jardiance lady replace the IBF sprite? I certainly hope not, but it might be more appropriate to our new age.

JM said...

How many of us used to titter at the number 69 when we were 12 years old?

Well, we've got two of 'em now. Titter away.

ranger_lp said...

@Hammer...sad part of that is that if Mike hits 500 home runs, he would get consideration for HOF...

ranger_lp said...

@Hoss...thx for the unwavering negativity....lol

Mildred Lopez said...


Oh I have tittered JM. Tittery tittery all the way home

The Hammer of God said...

@ranger_lp Oh, I'm sure that he'll get in the HOF if he hits 500 homers. That's why the HOF is a joke. Lots of guys who should not be in there, are in there. Lots of guys who should be in there, are not in there. I wouldn't begrudge it to him, if the bozos who have the vote want to put him in there, so be it. But it's a travesty that someone like Bernie Williams is not in there. HOF should celebrate winners and great clutch players too, not just 500 homers or 300 wins over mediocre careers.

The Hammer of God said...

Ma & Pa Yankee interviewed Bernie Williams last night during an inning. Bernie is a big fan of The Martian.

It's true that Gary Sanchez & Jesus Montero flamed out. But both were right handed hitters, not switch hitters. Both had their own demons. Sanchez became un-coachable and too stubborn, too mechanical in his hitting approach. Montero got traded to Seattle and had some kind of mental breakdown, culminating in an ice cream sandwich eating disorder.

Jasson Dominguez looks like a natural. They all talk about his poise. That nothing seems to faze him. I see a very high skill level, emanating from tremendous natural talent and a lot of hard work.

Bernie Williams was almost the opposite of a "natural". He started playing baseball in his late teens. I think Michael Kay put it best when he described Bernie Williams as "the best non-instinctive player" he's ever seen and that there were times when you could actually see a thought bubble appear over Bernie's head as he was preparing to hit in the batter's box.

I remember that when Bernie first came up, some Yankee coach said that he expected Bernie to hit the longest home run ever, because he looked so great from the right side. Well, that did not come to fruition, but he did one better. He helped win four World Series during his career. I'll take the championships over any exit velocity or stat cast measurement record. Or even Hall of Fame election.

There were a lot of trials and tribulations. I remember Bernie once struck out five times in one game against Brett Saberhagen. (I think it was Saberhagen.) Bernie was always a great right handed hitter, but it took a long time for his left side to catch up. And Saberhagen was a great pitcher back then.

It took Bernie years before he finally broke out with a very good year in 1995 and then a great year in 1996, which brought the championship back to the Yankees.

And let's not forget that Aaron Judge was not always this triple crown candidate Aaron Judge. He hit only .179 his first year of 2016, albeit in only 84 at bats. And he had a whopping 50% strike out rate that year.

Although Judge had a great 2017 with over a 1.000 OPS, he still struck out over 200 times. He then had four good, but not great years, before he finally put it all together in 2022, with a lot of help from outside coaching. So it took Judge over five years to reach his potential.

When you have a natural talent like The Martian, you just have to play him and be patient. He might light it up like a supernova, or he might take years to reach his potential. Or he might flame out after a few years. But natural talents like this, particularly switch hitters, don't come along very often, so whatever happens, just throw him out there and let's see what happens over the next six years.