Friday, September 15, 2023

Dust to dust: Searching for meaning in a meaningless universe

In the end, this is it: The Ledger of the Damned.

Don't bother seeking hope in this dumpster fire of stats. There is none. 

Yesterday, the Death Barge split its doubleheader, leaving it tied with Boston - each at 74-73 - for last place in the AL East.  

Over the next two weeks, the Redsocks face a tougher schedule - only one tomato can, the miserable White Sox. Meanwhile the Starr Insurers play six games against fellow Heinz containers, KC and Pitt. As Billie Joe once sang, "Wake me up, when September ends..."

Really, why kid ourselves? These games don't matter. Not a whit. Last spring, we foresaw a division crown, if not a world series. The notion of missing the postseason altogether - or falling below .500? That seemed ludicrous. The Gammonites all agreed: The Yankees ruled February and March. Then came April, games took on meaning, and everything - everything - crumbled.

Who figured:

a) That after winning the SS position in spring training, Anthony Volpe would hit .209, and that defense would turn out to be his best attribute. You know what's crazy? After 147 games, we still donno if Volpe is our SS of the future, or if we'd have been better off with Oswald Peraza. Yeah, Volpe is a fine young player - if he can build on this dreadful season. He turns 23 in April. But can he hit? We still donno. And .209 won't do it.

b) That after having The Season From Yahweh, Aaron Judge would crap the proverbial IT IS HIGH pineapple this year. Yeah, injuries took a toll. But until 2022, Judge's ever-tweakable gonads were the norm. He was always missing time. He'll finish 2023 with about 70 RBIs and a forgettable BA. In April, he turns 32 - the point where a lot of sluggers fall off the golf cart. Can he lead this team to glory? Honestly, we dunno.  

c) That Giancarlo Stanton would hit the wall. He turns 34 in November. Last night, he looked 40. Amid FOX's nonstop cavalcade of graphics, they posted a chart showing that Stanton leads MLB in exit velocity - proving forever the meaningless of that stat. Jeez, I donno what to do with Stanton. Could Artificial Intelligence supply an answer. (Of all MLB front offices, which do you think would be the first to try AI? Of course, the Yankees. Cashman is probably keyboarding stats, as we speak.) But serious, how do we get rid of Stanton. He'll be 34, a fulltime DH, a china doll, and he hits .198. We'd be better off with Meryl Streep. Nobody will take Stanton, even if we pay his salary and throw in Netflix. We are soooooo screwed. Can AI think our way out of this?

d) That the Redsocks would shitcan their GM yesterday, proving that accountability exists, at least in Boston. The FOX announcers noted that Boston has a top 5 farm system. (The Yankees rank all over the place - Baseball America at 11, ESPN at 15, MLB.com at 21, FanGraphs at 25 -not counting The Martian's elbow surgery.) For the Redsocks, last place was unacceptable. Not for us, though. We all know what will happen in the Yankee front office: Nothing. 

They say Theo Epstein is out there, chasing billionaires, looking to buy a team. Wouldn't it be karma? 

58 comments:

JM said...

Wait a minute. Meryl Streep is available?

The Hammer of God said...

We need to JET-TI-SON Stanton immediately. He is dragging around an iron spiked ball and chain. He could not be any slower if he had snail DNA. The few home runs that he hits cannot make up for this. Time to ... say goodbye, per Andrea Bocelli.

The Hammer of God said...

Volpe has been in a horrendous slump for a while now. It's the usual problem with him. He's pulling off on everything. Last night's two hits, both pull jobs to the left. Until he gets back to hitting the other way, his batting average will continue to plummet.

The Hammer of God said...

Judge: FOX flashed a stat that in 1st innings of games, Judge has 9 HR, 11 RBI, with over 1.000 OPS.

And that stat is precisely the reason why you shouldn't have your best hitter in the #2 slot. Particularly your best power hitter. Only 11 RBI from 9 home runs. YIKES!!! I don't remember, but logically speaking, the most two run homers that he could have hit would be 2, which would mean 7 solo homers. Home runs aside, however, it also means that he's driven in virtually nothing in the 1st inning via singles or doubles. And how can he? Hitting #2 means that he's coming up with bases empty in about 70% of his 1st inning at bats. Only way to get an RBI would be to hit it out.

Now, it's true that he did hit the grand slam in his second at bat, which might not have happened if he was hitting #2. But how often does he hit a grand slam?

9 HR but ONLY 11 RBI in 1st innings. No arguing that stat.

TheWinWarblist said...

I am floating down the river on a barge, and the ferryman wants payment now, before we've reached the other side...

The Hammer of God said...

Clarke Schmidt: This guy would be so much of a better pitcher on some team that knows what it's doing with their pitchers. Every start with Schmidt is like watching a guy doing a dance on a tightrope. He throws so many off speed pitches that he can't keep the hitters honest. Still not throwing enough fastballs. Later on in the game, might have in the 4th and 5th innings, I saw him blow away a couple of hitters with a well placed inside fastball. He should do that more often. Both times, the hitter was shocked. He could use the outside corner with more fastballs as well. He has gotten much better at pitching, but deep down, he's still nothing more than a dart thrower. He throws off speed and hopes that the hitter gets himself out. And that ain't good.

Carl J. Weitz said...

I love the concept of karma: Buy now, pay forever.

Hammer....Hal would rather suffer castration than lose 29 million for nothing.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Actually, it's 116 million for nothing. 29 per year for 4 more years.

BTR999 said...

Yes, the team will leapfrog over the Sox and finish in 4th.
Yes, they will finish over .500
No it doesn’t matter a bit.

Boone will be back, as will most of the F/O, coaches and instructors to impose their useless, bankrupt analytics based philosophy on all our players. It’s not some kind of curse why so many players fail here and prosper elsewhere. It’s all due to the way they are are developed and trained. I feel sorry for Volpe, who would be well advised to do what Judge did and go outside of the system and find better coaching and instruction elsewhere. I’d say the same for the rest of the young prospects who can’t seem to hit their own weight.

It’s absolutely absurd to watch Stanton slog around the OF like a turtle with a broken leg. He’s now a true, completely one-dimensional player beyond any doubt or discussion. He too will be back next year to clog up the roster and the payroll. Imagine the excitement 4 years from now when the team can promote the chase for his 500th home run? I get shivers down my spine just thinking about it!

As for Judge, well, I know I stand alone in casting doubt on the percipience of his contract. In a few short years he will be Stanton Lite, manning 1B and batting .210, striking out 180 times a year while Michael Kay and the rest of the Yessirs gush over the occasional 400 ft homer. A solution? Well, you can’t undo what has been done, but I believe in extending young players BEFORE they hit F/A. This way, we can aim to terminate the contract when they are, say, 33-34 years old and not 38-40.

Anyway, it’ll be an easy 2 weeks and a pressure free October.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

BTR,

I commend you, sir. For sneaking in the term percipience whilst commenting.

BTR999 said...

RTF, just the product of a life lost in books

JM said...

I'm just lost.

Publius said...

Revisit Baseball Prospectus' preseason Yankees preview. Someone saw this coming. Most insistently.

edb said...

Unfortunately, Hal won't sell. Pierzinski said during last night's broadcast, Judge is playing on one foor. The Yankees better fix that. DJ is obviously not what he once was.

Publius said...

Re duque's AI point...respectfully disagree. Yankees won't be the first to use it. The Rays or Astros or next-gen As will use it in a limited capacity, within carefully calibrated parameters which will result in modest, but real, positive results on the field. Three years later, the Yankees will implement AI-centric training and game play across the organization in every facet of baseball operations. Scientific American will do a feature in Brian Cashman. The Yankees will win 84 games and miss the playoffs.

AboveAverage said...

Well everyone - look at the bright side - Hicks and Gallo are free agents so we could see them back in the Bronx next year !

HoraceClarke66 said...

I think PERCIPIENCE tops "whilst" or even "amongst."

And...what's really sad is that the percipience of this group here once again surpasses that of our front office.

Hammer has great analyses of our pitchers and hitters almost every day here. Singlehandedly, he could replace our entire coaching staff. ranger, bitty, Carl Weitz, 999—it's all the same. (I could not replace them, but I would know enough to hire you guys!)

And this is the ridiculous thing...

HoraceClarke66 said...

...Back in the day, the Yanks' front office used to do things that stunned and amazed us.

I remember thinking, "Roberto Kelly for Paul O'Neill? What a terrible deal!" Nope. Get rid of a highly ranked prospect like Russ Davis AND a promising young starter like Sterling Hitchcock for a middle reliever I'd never heard of, and the second-best hitting Martinez in Seattle? Etc.

Today? We can see how bad the trades are with 5 minutes of online research. Frankie Montas? Can't pitch outside Oakland's cavernous park, and seems to be injured. Case closed...

HoraceClarke66 said...

And 999, you were and are probably completely right about the Judge contract.

But I was all for it, because without it, the entertainment value of this Yankees team was zilch. As we've discussed, the time for the Yanks to have made a decision on this was sometime during or immediately after Judge's excellent 2021 season. And the smart play was probably to fob him off on some other organization for a host of great prospects.

There were just two things wrong with this scenario:

—Cashman was and is completely incapable of making such a trade.
—Cashman never anticipates, simply hopes the Yanks' leading free agents will have a bad jump year, so he can get a "bargain" and sign them for less. It's the same sort of thinking that made him think he was getting "bargains" by signing injured pitchers.

Same thing with re-signing DJ. Six years for big bucks seemed like a mistake at the time. But Cashman had already eliminated his options by doing things like selling Estrada to the Giants for bucks alone.

Hence, we are damned.



BTR999 said...

Hoss, Re Judge, I’ve never wanted to be wrong about anything

JM said...

Cashman is terrible.

Boone is an idiot.

Hal couldn't care less. He just plays that on TV.

AboveAverage said...

I hadn’t seen this yet and, now that I have I must say that it put me in a happy place…

https://youtube.com/watch?v=04mtQuWcTRI&si=djASRlE3VUZDf7Ev

(I also tried to send Winny a photo file but I was not allowed to)


AboveAverage said...

O U C H !

AboveAverage said...

Gleyber is the best

Isn’t he?

AboveAverage said...

Hey Aa - how’s it going with you?

AboveAverage said...

Great aA, thanks for asking.

Isn’t Gleyber the worst?!?

AboveAverage said...

He sure is, Aa. Its like he’s not awake or aware out there.

AboveAverage said...

Yeah - this has been a real difficult year to be a fan of the NY Yankees.

Maybe it’s time to just turn it all off and move on until next year.

But I fear that it’s not only going to be the same in 2024, it going to get worse.

AboveAverage said...

Maybe both Cashman and Boone will take a year off next year for mental health reasons….

Rufus T. Firefly said...

AA,

Remember it is OK to talk to yourself. Just don't start an argument.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'll book them the honeymoon suite for the cruise. The SS Poseidon.

AboveAverage said...

aA - why would they - It’s not like they got hit in the head with a 100 mph come backer?

AboveAverage said...

Rufus - It’s Friday - shouldn’t you be drinking and drunk?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I'm on sabbatical. Time to squeeze the liver out for a few days.

And for the record, drinking does not necessarily equal drunk.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I forget, which Oswald it the Penguin?

JM said...

He looks like Burgess Meredith but smells like Damny Devito.

JM said...

We're losing to Pittsburgh.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Knott A. Fish

Rufus T. Firefly said...

The tankathon is on!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Cole's not happy though...

ranger_lp said...

Sorry…no way the Yankees win on Roberto Clemente Day…

BTR999 said...

Stanton “Mr. Clutch” with the bases loaded in the Ninth

AboveAverage said...

Welcome back everybody

AboveAverage said...

Holmes is getting ready

ranger_lp said...

To blow the lead AA…

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Stanton is less than useless.

AboveAverage said...

I’m so glad that others decided to join us Aas

BTR999 said...

Stanton down to .194
Can’t hit, Can’t field, won’t run.

AboveAverage said...

You Go - Rufus’ Liver!

ranger_lp said...

Yankees win…

ranger_lp said...

Hard to believe eh?

AboveAverage said...

Yunkeez Weeenz

BTR999 said...

Yanks show life.
I like this new trend of not sliding and running right at the fielder.
Hope Misciewicz is OK!

AboveAverage said...

Yesss999 - I too hope that it was only a flesh wound

AboveAverage said...

Hey Aa, where'd everybody go?

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AboveAverage said...

It's late back east, aA. And I think that if they were drinking (like Rufus use to do before his liver cleansing) then they're sleepy and they need to go to bed.

Gotta be well rested for the upcoming weekend.

JM said...

Jet lag has got me. In bed around 9, up before 6.

Just great.