Friday, November 17, 2023

MLB to Oakland: Drop dead

Now and then - as part of my ongoing personal vendettas against all who have impugned me - I scientifically rank the world's Top Ten groups of assholes, according to rancidity, odiousness and pure evil. 

Today, they are:

1o. The Illuminati
9. Klu Klux Klan
8. Vladimir Putin and his pals
7. Redsock fans
6. Monsanto
5. Kardashians
4. N
BA Owners
3. NFL Owners
2. Druids
1. 
MLB Owners

Today, the lords of baseball - featuring our favorite nepo baby, Hal Steinbrenner - have toppled the Druids, my previous all-time secret nemeses, to rank No. 1 and qualify for their own special dung heap in Hell. 

The reason? They just turned their backs on Oakland, an honest American city that had tendered to them its soul for more than half a century. 

By approving the Oakland A's impending move to Las Vegas - a cringeworthy deal with Mephistopheles, which should curse the franchise forever (Update: Has it already started?)- the owners will barf-talk about attendance, a decaying ballpark, and the lure of a taxpayer-funded mega-stadium in the soon-to-be-uninhabitable desert. But like all supervillains, they possess a secret reason to their unbridled malevolence.

It is sports betting - their new cash cow, and an evil unto itself - which is not approved in the state of California.

It's the points-spread, the $100 nightly parlay, the means to addict an entire generation of sports gamblers. It's a way to fleece millions, bank billions, and to ride bareback atop a vast shit pile of corruption, because for those who were born into money, making more of it is the only way to validate their miserable and meaningless lives. 

And ya know what? I never trusted the goddamm Druids - with their robes, and Harry Potter wizard hats, and their creepy shit under the full moons - but the MLB owners have done themselves proud. I seriously doubt the Druids would have pulled out of Canterbury, or Essex, or wherever the fuck they are, and run to Vegas, as the MLB owners just did.

Sometimes, I even miss Howard Cosell, who surely would have had a lot to say about this. If he'd been on Thursday Night Football, he would have spent the entire game ranting about the shame of leaving Oakland. But there's nobody to do it now. Here's all I got:  

It's a dark, dark day for baseball. Enjoy your eternity in Hell, owners. 

19 comments:

Publius said...

The Travelin' A's have always been a good indicator of America's economic condition. East coast based until WWII. Afterward, to the heartland. Then, after a decade or so, to the west coast, with all its youth and dynamism. Now that's all passed, Califirnia's a third world dystopia, and the A's are re-locating to Vegas, the mecca of America's truest 21st century economic catalyst...gambling.

JM said...

The overcommercialization and profit-only corporatization of everything continues apace.

Pretty fancy sentence, huh? But it's accurate.

Doug K. said...

Publius - Very insightful point.

Duque -

Oh, those Druids. I thought you meant the old Boston Druids from the now defunct World Tennis League.

As to the move. I agree that it sucks.

That said,as a person who's been going to games at "IPO Flavor of the Month Stadium" for decades it is easily one of the worst stadiums I have ever been in and I once sat behind a pole at Cleveland Municipal Stadium. His name was Stanislaus. (Rim shot).

Oakland - fifty bucks to park! Fifty! Massive foul territory that puts the game in a different zip code. Those stupid seats in centerfield that they built for the Raiders. The only positive is you can pretty much sit where you want as one of the 3,000 fans in attendance.

What they should have done was build a new park by Jack London Square so I'm 100% with you on the screwing of the loyal fans and the city in general.

All of that said, I think Publius really hit on something. This is what we've become as a nation. More's the pity.

JM said...

Doug, you remind me of sitting in the real Yankee Stadium watching a guy try to crane his neck to look around the I-beam in front of him.

Those were the days.

BTR999 said...

The fans always come last. Why do we put up with it?

Having said that, I’ve been in Oakland on business several times. We were told by our clients to be out of the city before dark for safety purposes, and my company would not allow us to stay in a hotel there.

AboveAverage said...

It will be fascinating to see how the remaining A's fans conduct themselves during the upcoming season, most likely the final one to be played in Oakland at the Coliseum.

Agent UnWavering will certainly be on hand for at least one Yankees game - this time oddly scheduled for the second to last weekend in September. I say oddly because it seems that the Yankees haven't played a series that last in the season in Oakland in well over a decade. They would usually roll into town in May or June or July or August for one of them more lucrative summertime showdowns. A September home series would only have been scheduled with the Yankees when the team use to make two trips out to Oakland per season and honestly, honestly what sane human being would choose to do that in these modern times, right?

I am "honored" to be on the Oakland Athletics mailing list. Yesterday morning I received an email from John Fisher managing partner and owner of the Oakland Athletics. Here's a link to that very email for you all to enjoy:

https://view.mail.mlblists.com/messages/17001614203332d6453befa0a/raw

Anarchy is all the rage these days - so I expect it to be an exciting last year for the Athletics of Oakland.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Brilliant, Duque!! And needed to be said.

I've been to Oakland. It didn't seem like a bad or dangerous place—though that was a few years ago. I've also been to Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum. It seemed like something out of Thunderdome.

Should a struggling city fork over major bucks for a new sports facility? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Remember how Brooklyn "died" after the Dodgers left? Seems to be a pretty lively corpse these days. MLB should be ashamed of themselves. And yes, have fun in the desert when the regular summer temperature is 120.

HoraceClarke66 said...

The Athletics made one stupid move after another—mostly thanks to the men in charge.

Connie Mack's sons sold out to a Midwestern magnate (the, uh, Yankees might have had something to do with that), who like so many in baseball in the 1950s decided that East Coast cities were finished (and too Black, though they didn't say that out loud). It was nuts; Philly was something like the 4th largest market in the country at the time, KC down in the 20s.

Then, Finley moved the team to Oakland, which was really struggling in 1968. AND it meant sharing a market with the Giants. Also nuts.

And now Vegas. Just as global warming hits its stride. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


You are a bit tardy on the Druids. The Romans took care of (most of) them a while ago-

https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-important-events/anglesey-druids-0016639

...no, not the Roman Catholic Church!

JM said...

"We were unable to get a binding agreement from the City, with rising costs of infrastructure making it harder and harder for the city to pay for its part of the project, and organized opposition from maritime interests raising significant doubts we could ever get a stadium built."

Opposition from maritime interests? Was the new stadium supposed to float in the bay? Were there concerns about all the home run balls the A's would hit into the water, maybe hitting a fish or two?

Alibi Ike said...

Legal prostitution, gambling, 2 gallon Mojitos, Assault rifle ranges, Carrot Top!

If anyone ever finds me at an LV A's game, they should check my pulse.

I mean, Carrot Top!!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Does LV still have the card snappers on the sidewalks?

Many years ago, I was there with the in-laws, including my 90 year old mother in law riding one of those scooters. They would approach me walking with my wife, her sister and the MIL, saying they could get a girl in my room in an hour. I was amused at first, but they are very persistent. I started asking if they could get livestock in my room instead, since I was set in the women department. My wife did not find it as funny as I did.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

JM, maybe they want the dock space??

The company I worked for used to have a plant in San Leandro. I would stay at the airport hotels and drive *toward* the airport to go to work. They sold it for a tidy sum. I'd guess it's also a hotel now. I wouldn't stay there if it is, because the ground may be slightly contaminated. Solvent based chemicals. yum.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I think it's funny, Rufus!

I was there once, 25 years ago. Meh. But yes, it's desperate and stupid. And how dare "maritime interests"—that is to say, ships, which provided a living for the people who sail and unload them—have a say!

I also loved the reference to the city's "part of the project," as if that were quite expected. Ruppert and Huston built the original Yankee Stadium in 11 months, for $2.4 million (about $34 mill today), and it was so big and gorgeous it became an instant tourist attraction.

The city did not contribute a penny. New York was a pretty corrupt town then, but nobody would've dreamed of paying money to baseball owners to build a new park. No owner would've dreamed of asking for it. And none would've threatened to move out to the desert if they didn't get such a subsidy.

ranger_lp said...

Kicking off a major day of decisions, the Yankees shipped out Jake Bauers on Friday.

A few hours before the non-tender deadline, Bauers was sent to the Brewers for a pair of young minor league outfielders in Jace Avina and Brian Sánchez.

https://nypost.com/2023/11/17/sports/yankees-trade-jake-bauers-to-brewers-for-two-prospects/

Someone referred to Jake as No Powers Bauers...

ranger_lp said...

From NY Yankees X:

Today, the Yankees non-tendered RHP Albert Abreu, LHP Anthony Misiewicz and RHP Lou Trivino.

Doug K. said...

Trivino was the best player in the Montas deal. Then he blew out his arm. Boy that was a bad trade.

BTR999 said...

Need to clear space on the 40 man. These players are small potatoes / damaged goods.

HoraceClarke66 said...

"Bad bunch of trades," more aptly.

And another news flash: looks like the Mets are zeroing in on Yamamoto (no pun intended). Which will really suck.