Light the candles. Get out the Calgon Bath Oil Beads. Put on the Hallmark Network, with the audio on Manilow, the Copa Cabana years. There's a new sprig of hope on the Yankee horizon: Garret Martin - a 6'3," 215 Texas lug nut - just whacked 10 HRs in 90 seconds to win the Arizona Fall League Home Run Derby, a performance that should free certain ornery readers from obsessing over a certain 5th game and 5th inning.
Martin - age 24 in an A-level league known more for humidity than skills - achieved a Hollywood ending this weekend, down by 5 HRs with 47 seconds left in the Derby. Breathless, Martin called timeout - to strategize. Then, with the clock ticking, he unleashed a string of bangers to win the trophy, or crown, or belt, or certificate of achievement? Whatever.
Okay, let me answer the question you are silently screaming: Who is this guy?
Last year, in the Sally League at Hudson Valley, Martin - a RH outfielder - hit 12 HRs and batted .216, with 97 Ks and a .748 OPS. His Yankee ETA is - um - someday. But hey, a derby is a derby... unless it's a Durbin.
That's right. Caleb Durbin. In the Arizona Fall Star Game, played last night, Durbin - the 5'6" Altuvian infielder and current Yankee wind sock of hope - collected two hits and a SB. He is projected to soon become the all-time Arizona Fall League base-stealing champion, beating the immortal Rick Holifield. He is giving Brian Cashman important cover, as the Yankees watch Juan Soto toy with our hearts.
Here we are, lost in a November sandstorm of free agent speculation, still reeling from the world series meltdown, and steeling ourselves to be outbid on the one player who could make a difference... but we have a weekend of nothingness in Arizona. I mean, it could be worse. What if Martin came in second? What if Durbin breaks his wrist?
Either way, I gotta say it: We should prepare for the most depressing winter since 2014, when Joginson Cano - a-doncha know - left the building. Even if we keep Soto - which looks like a longshot - we're going to be facing a swiss cheese roster of holes. But, hey, the derby!
11 comments:
ED - However did you know that I often silently scream at 5AM on Sunday mornings?
You're either a genius or you have my house bugged and monitored.
Either way - I'm quite impressed.
I expected cold comfort, but I didn't know it would still be partially frozen. Well, back to watching that exciting Giants game!
Another Giants classic in the making. Down 10-0 with 7 minutes left in the first half. How they're fucking up when the Panthers have the worst run defense in the league is amazing.
Daboll is an idiot.
OMG...the Giants scored a touchdown!
And they once again find yet another way to lose.
Worse org than the Yankees. Talk about bad ownership/management !
Gil wins ROY. Me, I could care less.
It's Brian's world. We're just living in it. When is pitchers and catchers this year?
Nepo Baby Sports—the NY brand!
I don't know that much about football. But as I recall, the whole reason for the Jets getting Aaron Rodgers was because that was all they needed to top off their great defense. Yet every time I turn on a Jets game, the other team seems to be cutting through their defense like a warm knife through butter.
Garret left his home in Tucson, Arizona
For some California grass
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