Monday, December 16, 2024

The sincere and joyous IT IS HIGH Yank fan Xmas wish list

10. Peace on Earth, good will, you know... whatever...

9. A federal ban on celebrity holiday TV specials.

8. A FBI criminal investigation of NFL franchises in New York City.  

7. A bullpen lefty who can pitch in 70 games.

6. Another starter, because, "pitching, pitching, pitching..."

5. A slick-fielding 1B with power, who bats LH. 

4. An everyday CF who is not Trent Grisham.

3. A Major League 3B. That's all. Any will do. 

2. Chronic IBS for a certain way-too smiley Met RF. 

1. New Yankee owner. Must suffer from arrested development. Must be trillionaire.

11 comments:

13bit said...

A reasonable and attainable list, Señor Generalissimo Duque. Might I add:

11. Garlic fries E-Coli disinfectant in the form of "special ketchup"
12. Lower volume of music in the Stadium. MUCH lower]
13. A return to the old ticket prices instead of inflation for the sake of Hal's pockets?
14. A GoFundMe be established to send Brian to baseball re-education camp
15. Health and Harmony and prosperity for all in the extended IIHIIF family

TheWinWarblist said...

Sadly, the volume everywhere is much lower for me.

AboveAverage said...

WHAT!?!

BTR999 said...

16. A Manager who is just that, speaks eloquently and in a forthright manner, insisting on accountability from both himself and his players.

AboveAverage said...

22. An in-game, branded muzzle for Boone - Soooo that whoever is still considering tuning in to watch the games on their viewing screens won't have to suffer through his painfully anxious chewing, spitting and bubbling . . .

Pocono Steve said...

23. An end to Yankees trade clickbait that I fall prey to this time of year.

ranger_lp said...

There's a certain inevitability that Clay Bellenger will be a Yankee and Stroman will be a Cub...

Carl J. Weitz said...

A case of testicular psoriasis for Hal forcing him to constantly scratch his balls in public.

JM said...

Surely you jest, BTR. This is the Yankees.

JM said...

Doesn't he already do that? Maybe I'm confusing him with someone else.

JM said...

I think you're right, Ranger. It's fated.