As a failsafe fallback, Yankees sign "Doomsday Dom" Smith. Let's hope we never have to see him.

Monday night - amid the excuse-making, after Roki Sasaki announced that he shall not play in rude, grimy, indecent NYC - the Yankees signed 29-year-old Dom Smith, a former-future Mets star and the newest omen of our looming apocalypse.

Basically, if the Yankees need Smith in 2025, they'll be in trouble.

A 2013 1st-round pick, Smith peaked in 2020 - the Covid summer of cardboard fans and piped-in crowd noise - when he hit .314 with 10 HRs. Ever since the vaccines, it's been downhill. These days, he's thicker at the hips - pushing 230 and capable of launching long homers, just not enough of them. 

Having signed him to a minor league deal, the Yankees can argue - hey, ya never know!  Not much downside to adding a Scranton lug nut. Smith can play 1B or 3B in a pinch, though therein lies the problem. 

If Smith ends up getting - say - 300 at bats, it means: 

1. Paul Goldschmidt's one-year deal turned out to be a bridge too far. Over the years, the Yankees have aligned themselves with several twilight stars - Youkilis, Tulowitzki, et all. Nobody knows if Goldschmidt, at 37, can hit, field or stay healthy. If an old gonad tweaks, or if the B.A. can't crack .190, Smith would get the call. 

2. Giancarlo Stanton misses a sizeable portion of the season. Actually, there is no "if" here: He will miss a sizeable portion of the season. He always does. The guy is made of glass. So when Stanton tweaks himself, Smith will get a shot at DH, maybe as a lefty platoon. 

3. Somebody - the Martian, Rice, Wells, Jazz, whomever plays 2B - fizzles, and the Yankees desperately need a LH hitter. Smith might bring a boost. He could be this year's Matt Carpenter - or its Willie Calhoun - until Cashman inevitably trades prospects for another bowser.  

Listen: There are late-bloomers who - pushing 30 - suddenly figure out the MLB curveball that has mystified them for years. Anything can happen. Maybe he's the next Jose Bautista. Kiss enough frogs, and maybe you get a prince. Just be prepared for an occasional wart. And if Smith is hitting fourth, logging ABs and lavish praise from the YES men...  uh-oh...