Obviously, I'm referring to the Five Stages of Yankee Grief, as outlined by Elisabeth "Gracie" Kubler-Cashman in her classic 1969 manifesto, "The Story of My Death Number."
The Five Annual Stages of Yankee Grief are:
1. April Roaring Start. Team batters opponents, raising wild hopes.
2. June Swoon. Team wilts, squanders lead. (Note: We are here.)
3. August Agony Deadline. Team trades for disappointing veterans.
4. September desperation. Team slogs to playoffs.
5. October Humiliation. Team falls apart.
So, here we are: Three games up on Tampa, who is - to the surprise of no one - thriving in the natural acoustics of George M. Steinbrenner Field. Instead of languishing in a giant, echo chamber/ping pong ball, the Rays play to romantic sea breezes and the bleat of turtles choking in the red tide. They have baseball's best record over the last month and just one regular - DH Yandy Diaz - over age 30. We next play them on July 28. Anybody wanna bet on where we'll be?
This weekend, we can do for Baltimore what we did for Boston: Let them happily dismiss the first third of the season and start over. The O's stand 11 games behind us in the loss column - down six in the wild card. Plenty of time to start over. The O's start two players over 30. (Generally, the Yankees offer four: Judge, Goldie, DJ, Stanton.)
On this solstice weekend, what stands out is the endlessness of the summer ahead. The injuries. The trades. The riots. The wars. We're barely into Aaron Judge's first slump. As Karen Carpenter sang, "We've only just begun. Strikeouts and double plays, a kiss for luck and we're on our way..."
In a regular time, in a normal Yankiverse, this would resemble a "trap" weekend - the Yankees lacing up against a last-place team, 10 below .500. I don't think anybody senses such a thing. Not long ago, Baltimore was a looming dynasty, the O's happily eating our lunches. Now, they're at the ends of their rope. Of such a team, we should be very afraid.
Damn, it's SUCH a long season. Last week sobered all expectations. Are these Yankees a team of destiny? Probably. Just not necessarily the destiny we wanted.
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You want to know what song line best sums up my feelings about this - and the previous 10 - Yankee seasons?
"Hello darkness, my old friend...."
Colbert and Paul Simon were calling it probably his best song last night. I don't think so.
Best Carpenters song? Gotta be "Superstar." "Don't you remember you told me you'd win it all, baby/ Don't you remember you said you'd be back in October..."
Michael Kay yesterday noted that the Yanks had scored only 7 runs in their previous 7 games, a franchise record for utility never exceeded, and matched only by that great 1908 team, and the 1968 team (which set the major-league record for lowest team batting average since 1900).
So we are hitting what are basically, once-every-two-generation lows. No need to change anything, though!
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