1. Association for the Advancement of Industrial Microplastics.
2. Guns for Toddlers LLC
3. Save the Roaches!
4. The New York Football Giants.
Of course, we're here to honor the Giants, whose win yesterday eliminated their shot at the 2nd pick in next spring's NFL draft. The Giants beat fellow tomato can Dallas, who sat their starting QB, Dak Prescott, in the second half. This came one week after Las Vegas mysteriously deactivated its best player, Maxx Crosby, ensuring a loss to the Giants.
After going 2-13 through the first 16 weeks - staking their claim as the NFL's worst team - the Giants won their final two, achieving nothing.
I'm sorry, people, but this is Nobel Prize for Incontinence territory. We can rail against the Yankees and ridicule the Mets. We can chuckle at the Jets and await the looming Knicks' self-demolition. But nothing compares to the humiliation that the Giants regularly inflict upon fans, a loyalty that is best explained via the Stockholm Syndrome.
Folks, this is genius. The '25 Giants have been a disaster since Week III, when they went 0-3. They won two - inexplicably beating Philadelphia - then rattled off nine straight losses, including five games where they led in the 4th quarter. Entering the season's final weeks, they held the 1st draft pick, allowing their fans to imagine a new front office with a bundle of young players. Nope. They won their final two, beating cupcakes who were determined to tank, while the network TV announcers bloviated about the momentum of a two-game winning streak, entering next season. What bullshit! What unbelievable, uncompromising, bullshit.
Let's hope that, instead of invading Greenland, Donald Trump sends his Delta Force to the Meadowlands and extracts Giants owner John Mara to a rightful perch in Riker's Island. I'm sorry if that sounds cruel - the guy has cancer, which we can agree is a tough ride - but that's sorta what the NFL did long ago, replacing the Maras with GM George Young. Back then, it saved the team from another generation of disgrace.
So, hats off to the Gints! They have destroyed a once-great name brand. They have gifted NYC to the Jets. They have become irrelevant. Are you watching, Hal Steinbrenner? Do you think it cannot happen in the Bronx? Do you think the fan base will automatically follow whatever you do, wherever you lead?
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15 comments:
You want to see torture, put Brian in charge and let Hal sign off on all transactions over $200.00. And let Boone do the post-game pressers.
No, Hal is not watching. Please pardon him for his distraction-he's counting his money.
Yesterday I was sitting with my wife here in Germany and watched the Giants for a while, then switched channels. I checked back later and they were winning 34 to whatever the hell it was, and we both spontaneously laughed out loud.
Incredible.
But hey, Cash signed another minor leaguer who used to be a major leaguer who had one good year eight or nine years ago.
Oh! Oh! We're rumored to be talking about trading for a starter!
How exciting.
"Yankees Abandon Hot Stove - Enter Sterno Season"
Jack Sterrno has been put in charge.
When reached for a comment, Sterrno said,
“The second R means RESULTS!”
Country falling apart, and we can’t even hide in the false haven of fandom.
No joke, BTR. Hal has fucked us in so many ways, not least in his robbing us of our ancient escape. There is no bottom with Hal.
AKA: "Jack Sturm Und Drang"
And here I thought all along that Cash was Hal's bottom . . . .
The Jets could and do.
I'm going to take the high road here, AA, and simply say that Hal is an asshole, Brian is a moron, and Boone is a buffoon.
I respect you for that, BiTTY
Easy now, Duque! Bad as things may get for the Giants, they will never, ever hand the town over to the Jets. That's just not possible. It's like saying the Knicks will hand over NYC to the Nets. Nope. Not physically doable.
Jets were outscored in their last two games by 77-18—and that was with the starting QBs of their opponents sitting out 6 of the 8 quarters in those games.
The Giants were not smart enough to lose, thereby winning the first draft pick. They had it right there within reach, but they couldn't do it.
Not surprising, one would have to admit.They weren't smart enough to keep Saequon, best player in the league that year, and then their QB castoff shows that he's pretty darn good, too.
Gee, how could that be? Perhaps the owners and their management/coaching staffs are good at just one thing: blaming the players.
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