With the signing of a 13-year-old, it's official: The Yankees are evil.

When the Death Barge recently fired Danny Rowland, its longtime chief international talent scout, who knew enough about it to take a side? 

It's not as if Rowland had signed any Juan Sotos lately. Then again, the recruitment of 16-year-olds has always been a sordid mess, MLB's version of Epstein Island. 

And the Yankees often led the way. They signed Gary Sanchez, Jesus Montero, Dermis Garcia, Hans Montero, Jasson Dominguez - to name just a few. Most soon disappeared, along with their innocence, in the haze of the minor leagues.  

Now comes this horrifying tidbit from the dark edges of the Yankiverse: 

The Yankees have entered into some sort of Satanic agreement with a 13-year-old - yes, thirteen - from Venezuela. His name is Albert Mejias. They'll pay $7 million to his family coaches handlers traffickers, at an age when most kids are finishing Little League. Check this out...  

According to the Internet, this looming payout breaks a record - $6 million to a tyke named Lucias Fox, who signed with the Giants in 2015. Fox never hit and bounced to the Rays, the Royals, the Orioles, the Nationals and finally the White Sox. He's now listed as a free agent, though he hasn't played since 2024.

Of course, none of it mattered. At age 16, Fox became a multi-millionaire (though I'd bet it's all gone, siphoned off agents, alimonies and entourages.) 

Hey, wanna build a Yankee team that, at its core, doesn't give a mosquito's crap about winning? 

Make them millionaires at 16. 

Now, we learn that - thanks to the Yankees - 16 is too old. They're signing a kid whose testicles have yet to fully drop, whose voice is still changing, and they'll bestow upon him more money than most people will make in their lifetimes - all while Hal Steinbrenner complains about the rent on his taxpayer-funded stadium. 

Obviously, Danny Rowland needed to go. As for his replacement? I'd suggest a crackerjack scout who might just be available soon, with a boost from their old pal in the White House. Her name is Ghislaine Maxwell. She knows 13-year-olds.