Thursday, May 21, 2026

The Yankee Singularity is approaching, as the first critical weekend of 2026 takes shape. Will it require a human sacrifice?

Okay, it's here... 

The Yankee Singularity. 

The point where our past, present and future collide, to dictate the 2026 season and beyond. It starts tonight, against hateful Toronto, on a Thursday, as all kegger weekends do. 

The next 72 hours will tell us everything we need to know about the 2026 roster, lineup, rotation, bullpen and... maybe... the need for regime change.

No, I've not been chewing Joe Rogan mushrooms. If the Yankees blow this weekend, on the heels of an excruciating series against the Mets, I believe Hell will break loose, from the front office all the way down to the guy who supplies Somerset Patriots with sunflower seeds. 

Of course, Cooperstown Cashman is Yankee GM for life. This, we know. But if the Yankees are once again preparing for a June Boone Swoon, anything can happen. Do you hear that high-pitched wail? The Singularity may require a human sacrifice, and Spencer Jones won't be enough. 

Remember how we said, over and over - (talking to you, Mr. Bednar) - that the month of May is too soon to drink the Yankee Draino? Well, a butcher job tonight, followed by a meltdown through Sunday, and we could be pouring shots of hemlock.

The Yankees host Toronto tonight - the Jays could save the series - and three through the weekend against division-leader Tampa. We can bring the AL East back into a competitive race. Or we could emerge on Memorial Day nine games down, and barely three games ahead of Boston, nullifying their horrible first two months. 

The Yankees can rise up and win - or turn out the lights. And it's not just wins and losses. There is even more at stake.

1. Tonight, it's Carlos Rodon's 3rd start since surgery. He botched the first two, five earned runs over eight innings. We've waited four months for Rodon. Is this it?

2. Gerrit Cole goes tomorrow night against Tampa. We shouldn't heap pressure on an opening start. But Cole means everything to a Yankee resurgence. If he craps the bed Friday, not only will the Rays taste our blood, but the Yankee bullpen will surely crash from the workload. Nobody has yet been named Saturday and Sunday starters. Yikes.

3. Jose Caballero returns Friday, presumably to play SS. In his last three starts, before breaking a finger, Caballero was 3-for-9. He still leads the Yankees with 13 SB. (He's tied for 7th, overall in MLB.) Cabbie seems to aggravate opposing pitchers,. He fidgets and fusses, and he pisses people off. We need that. 

4. When Cabbie returns, Anthony Volpe either sticks as a utility tool or boards the bus to Scranton, to join Oswaldo Cabrera in hopeless Yankee limbo. Last night, in the loss to Toronto, Volpe went 0-for-3, ending a three-game stretch where he looked like the player we once imagined (he was 5-for-13, with two SBs.)  

5. Aaron Judge is back in the Lost and Found Dept. Last night, he went 0-for-4 with a platinum sombrero - four Ks. Over his last 15 games, he's shitting .218 with 2 HRs. He'll snap out - eventually. But damn, he's 34, and - at times - he really looks awful. Nobody goes on forever. You hear that high-pitched hum? It's not Sabrina Carpenter. It's the Singularity, and something's gonna pop.

10 comments:

JM said...

I thought Sabrina Carpenter was a Singularity.

We need Fried back at total Friedness We need Cab. We still need a catcher (nice bunt fuckup with Cam last night.... Jesus). We still need a bullpen. We still need Judge being Judge.

We need a lot.

13bit said...

So many possible humans to sacrifice. Do we get to choose or must it be some random soul?

AboveAverage said...

It is fun to love this team

It is fun to hate this team

Thank you all for reading

Clearly I had so much

To say today, which is

Thursday May 21st

I’ll take my coffees

Black with no sugar

Please

HoraceClarke66 said...

Judge, to me, is the big worry. He's not done, but he looks as if he's stepped down a level.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Was watching some of the Mets last night. Soto is in the zone—at least at the plate. He hit two balls into the upper deck, and nearly hit a third homer; only an over-the-wall catch prevented it.

On the other hand, he gave at least two and maybe three runs back in left, as the Nats hit two balls over his head.

We sure could use him. We could use anybody. But I wonder if he doesn't think at times, 'Boy, another wasted year with these clowns, who are out of contention again.'

Or is the money enough that he doesn't think much of anything?

TheWinWarblist said...

Here let me help you predict how good These Our 2026 NY Yankees are: THEY ARE FUCKING NEUTERED SACKS OF USELESS SHIT. THEY SUCK.

[How do you spell "ball-less?"]

AboveAverage said...

B-a-l-l-e-s-s

edb said...

I am not confident vs The Rays. With cabellero returning, I would bench Mr, 50-50 Chisholm. He has been hot lately. I do not trust him in a big situation. I would play cabellero at second and Volpe at shirtstop. Screw the lefty Righty. These two players make contact, Mr. 50 50 stikes out too much.

TheWinWarblist said...

By the way, Rodon is a useless ball-less wretch.

TheWinWarblist said...

Tank you AA. By the way, Rodon is a useless balless wretch.