Nothing beats replacing baseball banter with news about money. I can't get enough! And yesterday, the House of Steinbrenner offered up some prime, chewable, financial crapola:
The Yankees will soon secure $3 billion from Apollo Global Management Inc., the giant corporate asset squid, which has about $840 billion sunken into everything from hedge funds to designer dildos. (Actually, not sure about the dildos, but I felt this post could use an extra spank of alliteration.)
Apollo was founded in 1990 by Leon Black, an all-star from the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein tomfoolery. Black resigned from Apollo in 2021, so Apollo's pristine rep would not be dragged through the leach field of public attention. According to that beacon of muck-rakery, Wikipedia...
Between 2012 and 2017, Black paid Epstein a total of $170 million for "tax and financial services" that reportedly saved him over $1 billion in taxes. After Black had a long-term affair with a Russian model, she threatened to make public allegations of sexual abuse unless he paid her $100 million. Epstein negotiated a 2015 NDA under which Black agreed to pay her $100,000 per month over 15 years, totalling $18 million. In 2024, Black said that he "deeply regrets" his relationship with Epstein.
Uh huh. Yeahp. Whatever.
Somehow, it always boils down to an old creep chasing sex. Am I right?
Of course, Hal Steinbrener is just chasing a RH-hitting catcher.
Listen... I hate to taint this blog with non-baseball chatter. But now and then, it's worth remembering, as Charles Bukowski wrote, "Sometimes you've got to kill 4 or 5 thousand men before you somehow get to believe that the sparrow is immortal, money is piss and that you have been wasting your time."
Now and then, it's worth noting that, throughout human history, the soul-less fucks who sit atop the shit pile of civilization think nothing of washing their hands with money and blood. But the stink never leaves. Here at IT IS HIGH, we want to think of the Yankees as a team of players led by a heroic captain and an ace pitcher deep into his twilight years. What they are is a massive investment cockroach whose tentacles manage to caress every evil in the universe.
But for now, let's close our eyes and hope that the extra $3 billion frees up a catcher and some bullpen fodder.
I prefer to think of Hal as a guy who would be happier running a baseball card store in downtown Utica. He was born into gold and knows nothing else. He will never understand what it's like to owe money to an algorithm. But he'll never escape that stank.
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13 comments:
Bless you, El Duque
Duque, why would you want to debase Utica in that manner?
Shame on you!
The Evil that Men do. Even during the all star break.
I wonder why that $3B Is needed, and where is it going?
Especially where is it going.
Grabbed this from X:
The reported Yankees/Apollo deal gets a lot more interesting when you stop thinking about it as team financing and start thinking about it as owner financing.
The Yankees are worth roughly $11 billion. That’s an extraordinary amount of wealth, but most of it is unrealized.
If the reported structure is mostly debt with a smaller equity component, one possible explanation is that the Steinbrenner family is monetizing a portion of decades of franchise appreciation without giving up control of the team.
That’s a playbook we’ve seen with many ultra high net worth families. Rather than sell an appreciated asset and potentially trigger a large capital gains tax bill, they borrow against it. The asset stays in the family, continues to appreciate, and provides liquidity along the way. It’s one reason the phrase “buy, borrow, die” has become so well known in wealth management circles.
None of that proves this is the purpose of the Apollo deal. But if that ends up being the strategy, it would explain why a customized private capital solution made more sense than a traditional bank loan.
This entire story is likely just the Steinbrenner family trying to monetize the extreme increase in the value of the Yankees franchise in a tax efficient way.
GREAT piece, Duque! And ranger, thanks for explaining that.
In other words, while the Steinbrenners use this taxpayer-salvaged franchise to enhance their personal wealth, there is still no indication that they will put more money into the team—in order to battle, say, the team that is coming to town this weekend.
This might be a good moment for someone—our radical mayor?—to suggest that HAL start by taking that $3 bill and paying off whatever is still owed to New York City, State, and the feds. Or maybe cut ticket prices? (I know. I kid, I kid.)
Good topic today with insightful comments from above (not the Old Man inThe Sky, but the commenters before me). It's worth noting that since the 3 billion is a "loan", no tax on it is paid because it isn't considered income. I'd venture to say that any other investor not part of the Steinbrenner family will not see a dime. But they will be stuck at some point as that debt will go against the asset of the team. Perhaps over time, the appreciation will more than cover that 3 billion, but their return will be less because of this transaction.
Has anyone checked to see if Randy Levine or Lonn Trost are mentioned in the Epstein files? Incedentally, Leon Black ended up living with Larry David for many years in CA.
So very lovely.
I'm above commenting below.
To all of this "Apollo Greed" news today, I say
eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww
The Over/Under on all of this is:
It will all be OVER when we're six feet UNDER.
Now where's my gosh dart cup of coffee!
For those keeping score at home, Gosh Dart is not a premium brand of artisan coffee. It is a weird auto corrected typo. Thanks for your interest and concern.
Jesus. Just when you think it's safe to go into the sewer...
Yes, as ranger says above, just a tax avoidance strategy. Rich people have enormous amounts of money tied up in assets like stock, companies, real estate. These assets are doubling in value every few years. So they're getting richer and richer. But like everyone else, they need a positive cash flow for spending money, and these assets don't necessarily generate a positive cash flow. If they were to sell these assets, they would generate a capital gains tax. What to do? Get a loan from some other rich bastard, usually a financial corporation, that will accept the asset as collateral. You get a sudden huge bankroll of money to finance all your filthy illicit activities, or whatever it is that you do all day. No diff from getting a home equity loan on your house, if you own free and clear of a mortgage. Hey, is the Emperor's Club still around? I'd like to order six naked nubile wenches for the weekend. Taking the yacht to Ibiza. Send bill to Apollo.
No way are the New York Yankees worth only 11 billion. Try at least 25 bil, maybe 30 bil.
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