Friday, October 16, 2026

The Dodgers are cooked, (like their books), and 10 other musings of the Apocalypse

It finally happened. Our long national nightmare is over. The Dodgers are toast, and for the next 20 years, no trip to Hollywood will be complete without mentioning the name "Bobby Bonillia." Long live the Brewers. No matter what happens, they slew the giant. 

Ten other ponderings...

1. Trouble in paradise. Tampa still can't fill its giant ping pong ball. Game II against Cleveland drew 32,125 - about 8,000 fewer than the Yankee massacre. This is not supposed to happen with a healthy sport. 

2. Fortunately, the Rays know who to blame: The fans, of course. And count me in. What a bunch of cheapos. They move to Florida, skip on taxes, rent a Lazy-Boy and a satellite dish, ride around on their scooters, scream about MAGA and complain about ticket prices - $84 for the Ueker seats. Pay up, grampa. 

3. Actually, they're pissed about the secondary markets, and how the Rays jiggle prices like hotel and airline reservations, all to sit in a sunless vacuum and watch baseballs kick up fake dirt and bounce off the ceiling rings. I thought domed baseball was done. 

4. Last year's Yankee fulcrum moment was when Trent Grishman accepted their $22 million one-year qualifying offer. It meant a clogged OF and no spending upgrades elsewhere. We'd play the same team, with the same fate. This year, it looks to be Jazz Chisholm. Will the Yankees make him an offer? Be careful. He might just take it.

5. I know it's moronic to do this, but close your eyes and imagine that the Yankees - instead of crapping the bed last week - had played the same quality of baseball they did against Boston. If the Yankees were still afloat - (of course, they are not) - we would be extolling the new Core 4 - Schlittler, Rice, Jones, Lombard - and fancying a new era for the franchise. Ugh. Parlor games, right?

6. Maybe let's not write the Dodgers' obit. They're still one of the richest teams in American sports, and there is no reason to think they won't continue their voodoo economics. Supposedly, their owner faces numerous federal investigations. What a joke. A couple campaign checks will solve that. Come February - a normal February, anyway - who thinks the Dodgers won't outspend the rest of humanity?

7. Some people claim a world series between Milwaukee and Cleveland - two small markets - will undermine the owners' argument about too money in sports. These people are fools. It wouldn't matter if the world series was Toledo v Reading. The forces behind this lockout have been edging into place for 20 years. No matter who wins the series, baseball is heading toward a dark place, (and, damn, so is America.)

8. One Yankee concern is already emerging: What to do with Ben Rice? This year, they bottled him up as a DH, a horrible fate for a generational star. He must play 1B or move back to catcher. You cannot expect him to waste his career as a DH. 

9. I suppose Shohei Ohtani will stay in LA, but I've always believed that before his career ends, he will try a stint on the East Coast, either in NY or Boston. That might not take place in 2027, but crazier things have happened. And the Yankees - see #8 - always need another DH, right? 

10. The Yankees are a handful of back pages behind the Knicks for tabloid cover supremacy. If they had reached the ALCS, they'd be well on their way to winning the year. Now, with injuries redrawing the NFL, the Giants and Jets might even show a pulse. And the Knicks will soon begin. It's a wide-open race. 

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