Secret to the Rangers' success: No former Yankees?

Frankly, it's rare to find a good team with no former Yankees lingering like bacteria somewhere in the locker room. Of the eight teams in this year's post-season, only one other club had no former Yankees: The Yankees. (Ha ha, fooled you. You thought it was the Phillies, but they still have The Bronze Titan, even though he's on the 6,000-day DL list.)

Frankly, the Yankee teams in the 2001-2011 vortex have wet so many autumn beds that it's wise not to have ex-Bombers. Will any contender ever take Nick "Red October" Swisher off our hands?

Instead, the only New York backstory on the Rangers is their staggering number of Yankee-killers: Players who play better against us than the rest of the league.

Like that bastard Mike Napoli. I hate him. He always kills us. What did we ever do to him? And Michael Young. We should have signed that asshole last winter, just to get him off our backs. And Josh Hamilton? That suckwad better hope I'm never in the same room; I'll put him through the wall. And Darren Oliver: If I could go back in time, I'd go to Pittsburgh and neuter the bum's dad.

Go St. Louis!