Sad to say, but a toothless band of machine-baiting ragamuffins is terrorizing the hearty Amish males of Bumphuk, Ohio, by holding them down, administering savage pinkbellies, and then taking the clipper of God to their ZZ Topped chins. Yes, Clantons, justice is coming to Tombstone.
Which begs the Thinking Fan's question: Is it right in the new millenium for the New York Yankees, beacons of individual freedom, to force their players to shave their beards, cut their hair and subject themselves to soap and shampoo products, some of which might be distributed by Satan's own (Scott) Proctor and (Oscar) Gamble?
As the Jop once said, freedom's just another word for nothing left to shave.
Comrades, the revolution is coming, and it will not be led by prissy, lemon-scented Yankee short-hairs. Nobody's telling that Gaddafi-killing fan in Libya to part his hair down the middle. It's time to tell The Man, we are 99 percent hairy.
OCCUPY JETER'S CHIN
YANKEE FACIAL FREEDOM NOW
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