Sunday, October 9, 2011

Yankeetorial: We Must Sign Yu Darvish

OK, I know what you're thinking: Duque, have you gone Bachmann on us? We just unloaded Kei Igawa, (a ulti-winner of IT IS HIGH Yankee Employee of the Month, and all-time wins leader at Scranton, it should be noted), so why would we buy anybody from Japan, especially considering that his urine might glow, and that's not even a joke about steriods! You suck. You stink. You-

Alright, enough of what you're thinking! Jeez, I give you the microphone, and you never let up! Listen, this Yu Darvish guy could be a great pitcher. True, I've never seen him and know nothing about him. But consider this: He's 25, he throws heat, and he's the next Japanese superstar pitcher coming to America. And he's got a really cool name -- the Yu the Yankee. That's enough in itself. But wait, there's more.

Seriously. The Rangers supposedly have the inside track. Do we want the Rangers to be signing the next big thing? Do we want the Rangers getting national media attention? Screw that. By itself, such a thought should justify spending whatever it takes.

Secondly, every other way to boost our rotation involves prospects - ours -  such as Jesus Montero or Dellin Betances. Screw that. Buy the guy, and nobody can accuse us of "stealing" their precious free agent. (And screw the Rangers' other free agent pitcher, CJ Wilson. He's 31, he's a number 2, and he'll want five years. Nope.) Buy Yu, and we're just doing what Yankees and Broadway producers and movie empressarios have always done: Brought King Kong to New York City.  That's our job. The Texas Rangers are not the New York Yankees. Let's never let them think they are.

The Yankees need Yu.

4 comments:

bennyboy said...

Wilson's been a starter for 3 years. His arm might not fall out until year four of his five year contract.

Yu Darvish is from Japan: The Land of Nuclear Fallout and Igawa. I mean, could this guy be the next Hideki Irabu? Possibly. But Igawa wasn't as good as Irabu, and neither was the Great Redsock known as "Dice-K."

This isn't the 1980s. We shouldn't look to Japan for prospects. We should look to China.

Dice K's Uncle said...

I think the Yankees should give $31 million transfer fees to any ballplayer from Japan who still has only two ears.

Parson Tom said...

hey, it's only money, and it's not even mine. Spend it all and then spend some more. But don't give up on the prospects.

Jimmy the Half Greek said...

is Yu part Dervish as well? If so, that spin move can be dynamite