Monday, October 10, 2011

Holy crap! Somebody told me Steve Jobs died!

Confession: I've been off my citizen-of-the-world game lately, pondering critical Yankee issues rather than the celebrity tart, T&A, exposed loins, check-out-that-pair showcases that consume the energy of our so-called "journalists" of the so-called "news" media.

To run a serious Yankee blog, one must divorce himself - or herself, (political correctness there!) - from the "gettin' jiggy with it" mentality of Hollywood-obsessed mammary morons. Last news story I recall was something about a tsunami headed for Japan, which might upset Kei Igawa's early workouts in spring training. Whatever happened to that, anyway?

Now this. Steve Jobs... possibly dead? If it's true, why the hell isn't the media reporting this? Why is the Internet spending so much time showing us naked pictures of Jennifer Aniston? This looks like a coverup. Are the terrorists applying a simultaenous double-punch to America: Elminating the Yankees - (We all saw those ball-and-strike calls by the umpires; it was an inside job) - AND Apple?

WHY IS THE INTERNET NOT COVERING THIS?

INTERNET, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! NOBODY WANTS YOUR NAKED PHOTOS OF JENNIFER ANISTON. THE HELL WITH NAKED PHOTOS OF JENNIFER ANISTON. TAKE YOUR NAKED PHOTOS OF JENNIFER ANISTON, AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR FAVORITES LIST. GIVE US PERTINENT NEWS AND INFORMATION, OR WE WILL TAKE OUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE.

Especially now that you have stolen our October and ruined the entire year. You're on thin ice, Internet. You're on my shitlist, pallyboy (or pallygirl). Word to the wise: Don't push it.

4 comments:

Online Movies Database said...

it`s a shame that such an important man died even having almost all the money in the world that could have him "fixed"... what he done for the world, nobody will forget ever!

Rest in Peace!

Online Movies Database said...

i forgot to mention that they should raise him a statue or something, to be seen worldwide...

R.I.P Steve Jobs

Parson Tom said...

Statue?!? Statue for Steve Jobs?!?!!! Forget that. What the world really needs is a statue of John Sterling, preferably in a pose that's mid-winwarble.

Son of Melky said...

If Jorge Posado had a statue in Monument Park, and then hit a home run in DNYS, who would cross home plate first - Po or his statue ?

(Assume this is during an Old Timer's Day game)