Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ozzie Guillen comes through for humanity

We are a doomed species.

Maybe 20 million years from now, after we've disappeared and salamanders evolve into superior beings, the earth will have sustained a survivable life form. Not now, though. We're toast.

Ozzie Guillen and the city of Miami have shown us exactly who we are.

Keep in mind that Miami wanted Ozzie's controversy. They needed to sell tickets for their new taxpayer-fiasco stadium. They needed him talking loudly. They knew he'd denigrate women, or reporters, or LeBron, or the President, or somebody. It didn't matter. Ink is ink. He'd give them tabloid stories, with or without the tabs. Everybody knew what Miami was getting: Exactly what Miami needed... a crazy guy who roils the waters.

Doomed. That's what we are. Frankly, if I were God, I wouldn't trust us with nuclear bombs.

There was one thing in this world that Ozzie could not say...

So he said it.

Perfect. The Mayans had it right.


bennyboy said...

I'm more concerned with the fact that the Marlins consciously decided to adopt their new colors than with the fact that they hired a loudmouth as manager.

Joe De Pastry said...

Ozzie said something that most of think is stupid. For this he gets suspended? Please, can everybody understand that you don't have the right never to be offended by what somebody else says? Tell him he's wrong, tell him he's an ass, tell him he's a jerk, tell him whatever. But he's entitled to say what he thinks whether you like it or not.

Hacknee X. Pression said...

Yes, but it's the thought that counts.

Alibi Ike said...

For more on what Ozzie thinks about the state of the world, including China, Mitt Romney and those motherfuckin polar bears, check out this article from ChicagoSide:

Yeah, you could call it pimping.