July 7: Washington - BREAKING: The U.S. State Department today announced a breakthrough in negotiations over the emigration of American League All-Star outfielder Ronnier Mustellier’s Cuban family. The Yankee designated hitter – who was named to the all-star team Monday in an unprecedented groundswell of fan write-in votes – has been trying to see his 5-year-son for two years, ever since coming to America, but he has been blocked by Cuban authorities. This week, the Cuban government, as a show of good faith, said Mustellier’s family would be allowed a six month Visa to visit the United States during the baseball season. Mustellier, who is batting .323 with 17 home runs, leads the first place Yankees in nearly all offensive categories…
Ahhh, yes. Back when fantasy baseball meant Roger Repoz.
I’ve touted Mustellier in the past, mostly as a self-pleasuring act. We figured he’d never see the light of New York, because the Yankees have an option on him. That meant he would go to Scranton and chase the career hitting records of Juan Miranda. Then came the Grandyman’s broken wrist. In the media headlights, Mustellier is hitting .375 (obviously, though, in limited at bats.) Hell, I’d take .350 in my dreams.
Much has been made about the “competition” between Mustellier, Melky Mesa, Zolio Almonte, and the impending free agent population of Florida. And, from the looks of things, Mustellier is a pub bouncer with a glove. But if when you lose the Grandyman, you need to replace him with a live bat, and neither Mesa nor Almonte has shown much in their minor league careers. Mustellier, on the other hand, has hit everywhere. If he keeps it up, he’s what we need: A Yankee miracle.
Yep. For the Yankees to succeed this year, they need to pull an all-star level player out of their butts. It might be Dave Aardsema. It might be Francisco Cervelli. It might be Mustellier. Some Yankee farm hand has to rise above himself, the way Alfredo Aceves did a few years ago for Boston, and Tyler Clippard did, for Washington. This time, it has to happen here. And if it’s Mustellier, who knows, there might be some good Havana cigars in the deal.
Should the Master start thinking of his Mustellier home run call?
RONNIER IS HERE!